My husband I have been together for a long time, but only been married a few years. He has always been the type that needs to be taken care of and I am getting fed up with it. He refuses to help me out with anything. He is a good father and does help me financially, sometimes. Because of this I have fallen completely out of love with him and am ready for a divorce. How should I approach this?
2007-08-10 08:46:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just adding a bit more to my question above......
He does know how I feel. We have had this issue for a long time now. I approached him about it a few years back, before we got married and we actually ended up separating for a little while. Prior to us getting back together, he had promised me that things are different and that he is not going to take advantage of me like he did before. It has been 8 months now since we reconciled and it hasn't gotten better. I've tried to sit down with him several times and explain my unhapiness and he thinks that by sending me flowers that it is fixed. :(
2007-08-10 09:40:47 · update #1
U need to sit down and talk to him. In a marriage you can't expect a certain treatment if the other person is unaware of your needs. Maybe you've made him acustomed to this lifestyle and he thinks you're ok with it.
2007-08-10 08:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by qtiebabie06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's terrible that you've fallen out of love with him but the good thing is your still somewhat emotionally attached if not you wouldn't be asking for help, right? The best advice I could give is having that open communication with one another and explain why it bothers you that he doesn't help around the house or in any other way. That its affecting your attitude and of course relationship to him. With a man, you just got to make it logical and that's how they usually get it. But at the same time you have to understand this is an environment that you made comfortable for him to get use to and that's why he's doing it. You basically allowed it. I hate to say it but its always been told to me and its true, women have all the control and sometimes we can lose it and not know how to get it back. I'm not blaming you completely but just saying make sure you know to take responsibility for what was put on the table so when the time comes and you do have this conversation with your husband you will admit to your responsibilities. Does that make sense? You also could try and remember what it was that made you fall in love with him in the beginning and think about what led you to this point in your life right now.
2007-08-10 09:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by citygirl79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont expect your husband to be a superman. Note that he is helping financially which means that he does work and he is a good father. You need to understand his needs and may be make him independent.You also need to see the posetive side of the relationship. But everything takes time and you need to be patient. Start asking help which is simple and easy to do first and then slowly slowly keep giving him that responsibility. Let him know you feel happy when he does something for you, Thank him. If he doesnot help you out with anything then try to do some things jointly. Also try to understand the reasons why he is unable to help.
2007-08-10 09:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Susan, calm down and back away from the remote. First of all, try to remember how and why you fell in love with him. You probably married a mama's boy. First of all, remember the marriage vows you made(For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part). I guess you forgot about that part. Divorce wasn't an option in the marriage vow promise. Suck it up and tell your husband that you expect him to do his part and get with the program.
2007-08-10 08:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce is no the anwser. talk to him and let him no how you feel. if you are completyout of love, and mean there is nothing you can do about it, then go to consuling or something and then do a trail seperation if that all does not work out then try some more and then quit. but try everything before the divorce
2007-08-10 09:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that when you got married you thought you were marrying a partner, not an over grown child. Tell him the years of taking care of him like he is one of your babies has just really gotten to be too much. Good Luck!
2007-08-10 08:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You fallen completly out of love with a man who is a good father to your kids? If thats the case do him a favor and let him go..
2007-08-10 08:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋