What would you do if your husband left you for another woman, when you were 8mos pregnant?

Question

At 8mos. pregnant my husband had just started a new job, about a month into it he started acting strange. He was picking fights with me, being distant, and even disappeared a few nights until the next day...eventually I found proof that he was having an affair. We talked it over and decided to try to work things out.The morning after our talk, I found "her" name and # in his wallet. He went hysterical, trying to get it from me. A few weeks later he left me, moved to his mom's, and then in with the other girl. I ended up having our daughter without him, he didn't even see her until she was 6 days old. All the while, I was recovering from a csection and taking care of our 3 other girls.I still loved him though, and continued to beg for him to come back. The day after mother's day, he came to visit and stayed. At first I was happy, now I'm uncertain of his motives.The "affair" called later and told me she was pregnant with twins by him, dates don't add up,but I'm still confused and hurt.

First off, the whole child support/get him for everything deal isn't going to work simply because he has NOTHING. We live with my mom, I bought our car (only in my name) before we married, and as far as his job...he only makes $7hr and already pays child support for a son that he had way before we got together.

Answer 1

Well I too would be hurt and confused and would hate it to even happen to my worst enemy. Your husband you still love and I like the fact that you want to fight for your love. What you have to do is find out if this is true and if it is then you tell him that enough is enough and you walk away, find a job and take care of your kids.
If not then you would still feel a bit of fear to trust because now you aren't sure about his motives. This is something that can still work out at this stage only if your trust has been restored. Make him work for it and remember that trust is not just given but earned.

P.S
He did it the first time what would stop from doing it all over again. The first time is the hardest.
Good Luck In Your Decisions...

Answer 2

Legally youre still married to him so you should still be under his Insurance at work and probably will be covered throughout your pregnancy here. For some strange unknown reason here, this woman has a huge stranglehold on your Husband so chances are he wont be coming back at all. Contact your local Legal Aid Association for a pro-bono (free) Attorney here to help with legal matters and the courts will soon use whatever avenues they must to serve him those papers but an Attorney will do all this and more when the time comes so all you have to worry about is your baby and other child instead of all this before something happens. You will get custody of children along with support and maybe even spousal support if and when that time comes but contact Legal Aid so youll have one less thing to stress out about here. Good luck

Answer 3

Get a good lawyer and sue his @ss for maximum child support and alimony while at the same time filing for divorce. You are being used big time. The only reason he's back with you is the other girl got pregnant and he's suddenly getting a taste of the way real life would be if he continues to be with her. So he came back cuz it's a lot more comfortable. YOu can do so much better!

Answer 4

Oh man, I'm sorry. This is a really, really sucky situation.

What would I do? I would divorce. Infidelity is a legitamite reason. I wouldn't want my daughters exposed to a homelife and the conflicts that a reunion would cause, because face it, would it ever really be the same? I would always be afraid that he would leave me again, so I would be the first and leave him.

The "affair" is clearly intending to hold on to him with this twins business, whether it is true or not. Don't talk to her if you can absolutely help it. She is probably trying to sabotage you out of jealousy. She feels threatened by you. No doubt your husband has probably told her that he is going to leave you, although he is going between you two indecisively, creating a stew of insecurity for everyone, including your children.

To create some sanity, I would say to focus on your children. They have the most important needs now. Cut loose your husband and see if he comes back to you.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You must never beg someone back, especially if they have wronged you. It will only push them further away and the last thing you want is his pity. What happened to you is devastating to say the least but you can pick yourself up and recover, heal, be a great mother to your children. Set an example to your daughters that you are a strong woman who can endure and persevere. Begin by taking care of yourself, exercise, mediation, yoga, do things that make you feel good about yourself. What he did to you, you did not deserve. Don't let him make you believe you deserve it. The best way to get even really, is to not get even at all. The more you take care of yourself, the more confident you will be. He may see that and want to come back but it would be a shame if you took him back. He was selfish, irresponsible for what he did to your marriage and family. You can still love him because he was a huge part of your life and the father of your children. Don't punish yourself for that but he truly is not worthy of your love. He broke the trust and that is something he MUST earn back. If the other woman is pregnant, you should, by marriage be entitled to everything. Be strong for you and your girls! Take care of you.

Answer 6

One thing women never seem to understand is how detached men feel when their woman is pregnant. They used to be so important and now they are #2 to something that no one can see more than a bulge of. The #1 time for married men to have affairs is when their wives are pregnant. It has nothing to do with sex, it has to do with wives who suddenly have found someone a whole lot more important to them than their husbands. It's sad, but true.

Answer 7

How can you trust him after that? Why would you want to stay with such a loser? He isn't good for you or your children. No matter what your problems are in the marriage, adultry is never an excuse or an option. You either work it out or get out. You have grounds for a divorce. Get a good lawyer and make sure he pays alimony and child support.

Answer 8

There is no confusion, file for divorce today. You don't need his lying cheating self. He has totally disrespected you and you don't deserve that at all. He has committed adultery and there are bastard children as a result. You need to except that he isn't who you thought he was and get rid of him post haste. Let him break her heart. Don't let him back in to break yours over and over. There is life after divorce. Don't let him blame this on you either, this is squarely on him!!

Get everything you can from him too, custody of the children, child support, alimony, the house, the vehicles go for all of it.

It will never be what you thought it was again.

Answer 9

I would find an excellent divorce lawyer and go after him for child support. Do not let him walk all over you, because he will not change. Make him stand up and do what is right for everyone involved. Guess he will have a lot of growing up to do to be able to support 6 kids.

Answer 10

I would hire an attorney and I would tell that attorney I want the car, the house and everything in that house and I want him to pay me child support and he can have his clothes and the bills. Then I'd tell Miss Affair there isn't much left over of him but feel free to go through the junk pile, he's tossed in there and she can have him.