tell me please?

Question

I would really like to know if this is any good or not?


A glistening tear

Upon my cheek

Brought out by fear

From those I hold dear

Unending pain

Nothing more to gain

Looking for the end

No more time to spend


Fending off the lie's

With exsaperated try's

Looking for the good

Trying to remember where he stood

What a fool I am

Used like a weithered tool


Drained of all feeling

On my knees willing

Waiting to find

Drawing a blank in my mind

Trying to see

Who would greive?

My sould is lost

My heart is crushed

By those who sought

To burn me in the brush


I can be me

I will be free

One last breath

Brings me to sweet death

Answer 1

i think it expresses very well the feelings of someone who has been hurt, and doesnt see any hope

just keep in mind, death may not bring freedom, there are those , like me, who feel whatever issues you have, you take on with you, as you remain yourself after you pass on from this life, and often it is our expectations that we have for others, which bring about disappointment and hurt,

but, as a poem showing the mind-set of someone contemplating suicide or their death, it is very good and states the emotions clearly

Answer 2

Many beginning poets assume that a poem must contain exact end rhyme, but most contemporary readers have found such repetition of sound to be boring. Try employing one of the following methods of using rhyme.

1. Use off rhyme or partial rhyme at the end of lines (bad/dead).
2. Use rhyme WITHIN the line instead of at the end.
3. Use rhyme at the BEGINNING of lines instead of at the end.

Shouldn't this be in the Poetry section?