Get Married first......then a baby????

Question

Even if you didnt get married before you got pregnant please answer........do you believe this is the way it SHOULD be done????

Get married then a baby

** just want to know people opinions, Im not judging**

(Im married, no kids, and ttc)

Answer 1

um yes I think that way is the best

Answer 2

I was taught that I should first finish college, then get married, then have kids and I truly believed in this. I was engaged with a guy but it didn't work out with him because he had some issues he needed to work on (unfortunately)...then I got into this relationship about 5 months ago and 1 month ago found out I'm pregnant...so I got pregnant after being with my boyfriend for 2 months. He is very happy about us having a baby and everything but it was something I wasn't expecting. I haven't finished college yet and my relantionship and our financial situation are not at their best. I haven't been with him for too long and there are still a lot of things we need to work on. Our financial situation is something we can work hard on, but I know he will be there for our baby. We love each other and are happy with each other, we have a lot of fun together and are honest about everything...
I really wished I would have been more careful to have a more organized life, but I couldn't have an abortion and start all over again like nothing happened. I try to be responsible for the actions I take and I think the best I can do is bring my baby to life and fight to give him/her the best life possible.
My boyfriend wants to get married, but wait a little longer until we're doing better financially...we'll see, I don't really care anymore...things will take their way and God will always be there for me.

Answer 3

To me, marriage is just a piece of paper that makes it all legal.

I got pregnant before getting married. We had been together for 3 years. We got married 3 mths after the baby was born. Shortly after the marriage, everything went down hill. I became his mother, not a wife. A little over a year later, we were divorced and he moved with his new girlfriend.

I have since gotten remarried, and have had 2 other kids, with another on the way. This marriage has had its ups and downs, but still going strong.

So, it all really depends on the people involved. Baby then marriage did not work for me. The relationship probably would have worked had we not signed that little piece of paper. It just seemed that he changed the day we got married. Sort of like buying a car. When you are test driving it, you are careful, as you don't want to cause any damage. Then, once you sign the papers and it is yours, you slowly tend to be less and less gentle with it.

Answer 4

Yes I believe this is the order in which it should be done, but does it always work out that way NO. You could be on birth control and trying hard to prevent pregnancy and the birth control failed for some reason. **** happens. My sister had four kids with a man she wasn't married to they were supposed to get married this last may but didn't and THANK GOD. He got caught for child abuse. If she would've married that prick she would of lived a life of misery and pain. I look at it this way everything happens for a reason, we don't always know god's reasoning behind things, but one day we will, Until then live life to it's fullest and do YOUR PERSONAL BEST at everything you do. I was having unprotected sex before marriage but I've been married for almost a year to the man I've been with for almost 4 years now, and we are 16 weeks pregnant. Baby dust to you and keep trying.

Answer 5

Its funny. My hubby and I had a short courtship, with one of those rare, movie cliche romances.... we knew we were soulmates from the first date, met my folks the second date, asked me to move in the 3rd, etc. (We have been together now for 11 months, and couldnt be happier!)

Last year, we talked about getting married this Halloween (as thats my fave holiday). THEN, we found out we were preggo in January, and we were DUE on Halloween, lol....

Not that it was mandatory or pressured upon us to marry first, but we figured, "Hell, we're madly in love, we know we're it for each other, why wait?". So we got married on 5/6/7, and are two months away from meeting our little girl.

His mom and dad planned it out the SAME way. Had a wedding date, invitations, etc.... then found out they were preggo, amd married sooner....

We just knew we wanted to be married... also too.. I will have had all of my accounts and insurance and such changed over with my new name before the baby comes.... that stuff is a PAIN!!!! I finally made it over to the DMV the other day. Let me tell you, when you change all your bank accounts and online accounts, many people want ID proof, so the drivers license bit is pretty important!

I guess the jist of my post is, it doesnt matter which comes first, baby or marriage, as long as you're happy! Though, in my opinion, if you're going to get married to your loved one anyhow, why not do it before baby comes!

Cheers (^ - ^)
Megz

Answer 6

I know times are changing and all, but I really believe it is better to be married before hand. Just because it symbolizes a true commitment (I know these days it doesn't always anymore), but I think babies deserve honesty and commitment and that is a pretty decent symbol of it I guess.

I waited until married (thank God). I could have easily had children with my past boyfriends. But the man that I married is the one I obviously wanted everything with- especially children. It means something to both of us :)

Good luck in TTC!!!!

Answer 7

I think it doesn't matter either way. I think the couple (or mother, if single), should be financially stable (of course I mean for those trying to get pregnant).

For me personally, I wanted to finished with college and married. Once I got married, we decided to wait until we both had our careers on track and purchased our home. As much as I wanted a baby 2 years ago (when we got married) I am really happy we waited...now we have a beautiful new home, great jobs and we can afford to buy our baby everything we want to.

It really depends on the person/people...of course sometimes life surprises you and of course you can't plan out everything.

Answer 8

My now husand and I were together for five years, bought ahouse and were pretty happy, I kept bugging him about marriage and he kept pushing me off saying when he could afford it, when I found out I was pregnant I wasnt really worried about marriage because we had lived and been together so long, but I came home one day and he got down on one knee and the ring and the whole thing. We planned a weddign in 2 months and everything was perfect, I even was still a size 4. Now we are both excited to feel like a family, we would have anyway but I think because we are married we feel more bonded together and I m so glad about how it all worked out. -We expect baby boy in Oct.

Answer 9

the best is to be married, then the baby, with me it happened the other way around, I don't regret it at all, but I would have loved having some time just the 2 of us... but it's great either way, if you're in a loving relationship that is leading to marriage like I was, then whatever comes first.

Answer 10

i think of the super distinction is which you're making a decision, and the girls who're having little ones that youthful for sure screwed up and made a mistake and are actually going to pay for it for the subsequent 18 years, did no longer have lots decision as quickly as they found out. They made undesirable judgements, and would desire to go through the implications, human beings telling them they are too youthful to have a baby ought to no longer replace that that is occurred. You, on the different hand, are willfully making a decision to alter your existence, and it hasn't occurred yet, and human beings sense like their opinion ought to be heard, with the aid of fact they think of you're making a mistake and probably they are able to cajole you they are precise. I, for one, will ridicule everybody who has a baby till now their legally allowed to vote, drink alcohol, purchase porn... I propose, come on! you're a baby, how do you assume to advance a baby? yet, somebody who's already had a baby, what am I going to end by using telling them how dumb they are? the clarification every person is so extreme of folk getting married youthful is by way of the fact the statistics practice they, often, lead to divorce. it somewhat is purely the numbers. And, in the event that they are somewhat older, will inform you that they replaced extensively between 18 and 25. If i became into dumb adequate to marry the guy i concept i became into in love with while i became into 18, or maybe the different guy i concept i became into in love with while i became into 21-22, i'd be in a international of injury precise now... and fairly in all probability divorced. yet, some human beings meet the folk they spend something of their lives with while they are 12, so who am I to tell human beings it is not precise? backside line: you comprehend what you desire. in case you desire to get married and comprehend you're waiting, blow those human beings off. tell them you do no longer appriciate their comments, and wish it in the event that they'd assist you and your judgements. somewhat, they are purely attempting to help, yet finally end up hurting your thoughts without somewhat determining it.

Answer 11

I got married first and now i am pregnant...so that works for me, but i know a lot of people who did it the other way around so i don't think there is anything wrong with that...just depends on the people and thier relationship.