My wife and I have been married for 13 years.We have 3 children,aging parents,we each have a career,countless other demands.To top it off,she is a perfectionist in all things,so she is always stressed about somthing.Often she has not much time and energy left at the end of the day for romance.
What do you sugest?
2007-08-10 05:33:39 · 19 answers · asked by FORDMAN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Clean the house for her, Draw her a hot bathe, not too hot that it'll burn. Lite some candles. While she's bathing take the kids to the sitters, come back with dinner, place food on a plate, set table with candles e sure they are not sented while eating, yuk!. Drink some wine or mixed drinks or beer tell her you have a new toy you'd like to try out on her, give her the nice new sexy nighty you bought her and take it from there... get creative but be sure it's NOTduring her PMS (a week before her period we're pretty bitchy and most of the time not in the mood but we do like it a day or two before we start)... Plane this for a week to a week & 1/2 afetr she has finished the cycle it's all about timming!!! You know!
Buy her the Kama Sutra palying cards...
2007-08-10 06:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to find time. There is no such thing as time. The fact that you want to try and do something is really romantic, but if its unexpected, since she is a perfectionist, it might be an unwelcome change. Believe me I know how people like that can be.
So first have a small talk to her, and just suggest an evening to relax and talk. Keep this up. Most women are stimulated by thought more than just plain action.
A good example of that is when women read romance novels. The idea of being romantized and being subjected to a man's complete power can be very alluring.
However since she is stressed, its best to take things a step at a time. Start with the little things. It can be as simple as managing the children to be away for a few hours so you can spend time together. Or do something unexpected for her, by turning up at home/job? and give her a kiss saying you were thinking of her.
Phone calls to let her know she is important will make her warm up.
Its always the small things most people forget. Remember how it used to be between you when you first started your marriage... what did the two of you do, that she enjoyed. Try it once more if its possible.
In the end good luck and I hope she appreciates everything you do for her.
2007-08-10 12:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by lycanine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A romantic vaction. No not fishing on a lake. Three suggestions for different budgets. Take her to a nearby hotel(not motel 6) and have a weekend away just the two of you with romantic dinners, candelit room, and music. Give her a massage and then well like ya said rock her world. Let it be about her. massage her from head to toe. Kiss her lightly on her neck and just please her. Or you could take her on a romantic cruise to an island and work the whole idea i said for the hotel but there with the added double massage for the both of you. And if you are really on a tight budget with three kids then get rid of the kids for the weekened. Make her dinner, do the massage thing with the music and candles. But the away thing is better. Hard to relax and get romantic at home when you know she will have so much on her mind if she is a perfectionist she will sit there the whole weekened cleaning or thinking about what she needs to do. Try to get her away from it all.
2007-08-10 12:49:12 · answer #3 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I married the same women 26 years ago so let me share what I did at about the same time in our marrage.
First rember she is a planner and likes to know what going on so your going to throw that whole thing into a tail spin.
What I did was asked my wife to clear a Fryday and a Monday to make a long weekend. Now you might want to find out when her cycle is so as not to plan on those days. What I told her was " Honey I need you to clear theis days for me because i have something very speacal planed". Now she going to try and find out what it is so you gently place a finger on her lips and say "you will know soon enough, just trust me and clear the days please" . Try to plan this a min. of 60 days out.
Now find a quiet spot for two to go for this weekend, it might be a rented cabbin near a lake or a spa or even were you spent your wedding night. The whole idea is to suprise her and be "spontainious" . If there is not anyone you can leave the childern with be sure to go to someplace were they have kids activitys that you can send them on. Again the whol idea is to break the statious quoe and show her that she is the most inportaint thing to you.
Now i didn't even let my wife pack a sutecase. I bought her all new things to were right down to the undies. ( ok this took some help from her girl friend on what i should pack) this way she had no clue were she was going. Also told her GF that if she told i would make her life a living hell. I also arranged to have my wife's car in the shop so that i could pick her up from work and travel stright to our destation. WARNING this is not easy to make happen!!!! but it was a true turing point in our marrage.
I bough specal bath kit and other things to pamper her with. If she likes a certen type of wine be sure to get it. You know the things she realy likes, be seure to fill this weekend with all of those things you can.
Now you are wondering "what in this for me?", beleve me by doing this the romance will come and it will be awsome.
Today with all we have to do in our jobs we need to make sure we know that we are working for and towards otherwise time passes us by and you will pass by eachother. Never let that happen.
2007-08-10 17:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by wats12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan a get away weekend. Make sure you do all the planning such as who will have the kids, dog, errands for the weekend, whatever so the perfectionist in her won't be worrying about having to plan all these details and do all the little things she has to catch up on when she gets back. Rent a cabin or go to a bed and breakfast. There are plenty of places that have great romantic getaway rates, have hot tubs and even will deliver flowers, have massages, etc as extras. Plan to have her favorite food, draw her a bubble bath, give her a backrub, etc. Show her that you still love her as much as ever and want to keep the romance alive. Think of all the things you used to do for her when you were courting her and remind her that your relationship has to be nurtured as well.
Good luck and have fun! ;-)
2007-08-10 12:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by nspir8ion 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweep her away for a romantic weekend at a hotel. Buy flowers and a goody basket (adult themed) and put them in the room before you take her there. Take her out for a romantic dinner and then go back to the hotel...oh and make sure the room has a jacuzzi and fireplce, light some candles. I think that's pretty much all the romantic elements I can think of. Nothings better then getting away from all the stressed. That'll definately get her in the mood.
2007-08-10 12:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice to get way for the weekend, or check in to a posh hotel; but the best place for romance is at home.
You plan the evening. Call the grandparents and make a deal, to keep the kids overnight, while you and your wife enjoy a romantic evening at home--alone. Chill the wine, grill the steaks, toss the salad (ever so lightly), play your most impressive CD, and dazzle her with your charm. Then, after you've wined and dined her, take the woman in your arms and indulge yourself. Turn off the lights, my friend.
2007-08-10 12:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish that all guys were as concerned as you. But what I recommend is sending the kids to a sleep over and running a hot bath with scented oils for your wife. Use candles. Then offer a massage. Even if you don't know how. All you have to do is use oil and rub lightly (Unless a request is made). That massage will get her so ready that she will probably be ready to be rocked before you are. Especially if it has been a while.
2007-08-10 12:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by Jen T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone to watch the kids for the weekend or a night--get the Bridal Suite or a hotel room that has a jacuzzie tub, have flowers sent to the room--arrange for a massage--get that romance back into your life.
You get something like this going and she'll remember it for a very long time--this is something that will bring a smile to her face in the middle of the day.
2007-08-10 15:25:41 · answer #9 · answered by Mignon F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her you think you both need some time alone....Plan something nice - it depends on your schedules and budget - and have the kids watched over by a relative or a sitter....Anticipation is a wonderful thing!
Chances are she's feeling the same way...and she will love to hear you say you want her and you need "couple time".
Good luck!
2007-08-10 12:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋