how do i love my self after i have been verbal abuse, how do i move on with my life plus i have low self?

Question

esteem i am going through a breakup my heart can not take anymore plus it feel like i am losing my mind, plus i am deal with a lost of my baby due to stress because of this son of bi tch it is a long story i just need some help

Answer 1

I am so very sorry about what you are having to go through. You will struggle with this daily for a long long time. Try to listen to or read some books to help you find yourself again. Think back to the time you were the happiest with yourself and how you were then. Know that that person is still in there somewhere, you just have to dig down deep to find her. He done this to you, and you were emotionally unable to defend yourself from it. Just keep looking and moving forward. Do something that will make you proud of yourself. Go back to college and work on a degree that you would be interested in. Even if you can only take a few classes or go at night. Do things that will have a positive outcome and make you feel better about yourself. Get mad and tell yourself that he cannot hurt you any longer and he cannot stop you from becoming happy with your life and yourself. Keep it up, and do not get discouraged. Be strong. If nothing else helps, do it for your lost baby.

Answer 2

Self esteem is how you feel about yourself. What he said to you and about you is not relevant. Accept that he was a verbally abusive jackass. Nothing he said matters.
It takes time to recover emotionally and mentally from a breakup. Usually anywhere from a couple of months to more than a year can pass. Start building yourself up again in your own self talk. This internal dialog is very important. Stop yourself when you start in with derogatory self talk. Write down your good qualities and read that out loud daily. Put a copy on your fridge, in your bathroom and somewhere in your room where you will see it when you get up. When your self esteem is low it can be difficult to see good qualities so feel free to take days or weeks adding to your list. Set some short term goals, things easy to attain and then give your self a small reward when you accomplish them. Even if your reward is telling your self 'good job', it's better than nothing.

Answer 3

First calm down the world has not ended yet,since I've checked.lol You to let go and let God guide your ever thoughts or dreams.Pick up your self-esteem by getting out more like a walk in the mall,park,or going to a library and start a new routine altogether for yourself.It will feel good to your soul.Join a gym ,just somewhere there is positive energy,and it will become contagious to you.The lost of your baby may be the source of alot of your pain,but try it again if you feel comfortable about it if not that's OK.A little counseling wouldn't hurt either.God Loves You.

Answer 4

First of all you can't lose hope.When you lose hope you lose life.Losing hope is what makes people want to throw in the towel but it sounds like you have come too far to do that.I'm sorry for what you have gone through but I am glad that you survived.How do you love yourself? Unconditionally...don't beat up on yourself.If someone abused you, it is because misery simply loves company.He obviously has some issues.You can be glad that you ARE breaking up and getting him out of your life.Of course there are plenty of counselors out there just WAITING to hear from you.Hang out with your friends, get busy.just don't sit around,moping because that can lead to a state of depression.I personally read the Bible but i don't know what your faith is and I don't want to offend.But you can and WILL make it...better yet- if I were you, I would go and volunteer to speak at a women's shelter.There are soooo many hurting young women like yourself, who might need to see that there is somenone that they can realte to.You will be BETTER in the end though because of this.

Answer 5

you need to seek some professional help. These are not things you need to try and deal with on your own. Getting counseling would be the best thing you can do, for your
self-esteem also. If you are in the USA, most all counties have mental health centers with income based

Answer 6

join the club! I went to counseling and that helped me confirm why I felt the way I did, but working out regularly helped me a lot. You just have to get out of the house, work out, eat healthy and make yourself feel good. I have body image issues, I've had an eating disorder, and it's all due to verbal/emotional abuse. I'm still having trouble forgetting about this guy that treated me like crap, and I still have dreams about beating the ish out of him. And I never really did get proper closure or an answer to why he did it, but I realized that I don't need to know why. He's just scum, and you have to learn not to put up with abuse. The guy I have now, treated me so nice and I wasn't used to it so I was rude to him for being nice to me! But he put up with it, I was depressed and he's been there for me ever since. You should get counseling even though it is pricey, or you should really go to the gym. Endorphins rule!

Answer 7

hi hon..

i'm sorry to hear you're having such issues, and life can be very stressful and leave us feeling down on ourselves.

i think that, if you can't afford therapy, you might want to consider some self-help websites by doing yahoo searches, such as

SELF-ESTEEM SELF-HELP

HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS

COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD (i'm sure there are chats and forums you can go to where you can get support from people with the same issue).

COPING WITH A BREAK UP

I'm sure you will find a lot of information. forums are sometimes great for those of us who need some help and comfort, because we can see that other people are having a hard time too -- and can offer support... and you can too!

hugs.. i'm so sorry for your pain right now.

Answer 8

you are asking something no one here can answer, because it is different for everyone. what helped me get over esteem issues after childhood sexual abuse and verbal abuse may not work for you. what you need is to get into therapy and work on recovery. this isnt a do it yourself thing.

Answer 9

It's simple. Look in the mirror. If you like what you see, **** what anyone else says. Life is too damn short to worry about opinions from those that would seek to hurt you. Breathe deep, exhale slowly.

Answer 10

first of all, stay away from him. it takes time, believe me i know. i was in a physically and verbally abusive relationship, and now that i've gone through it and am over it, i don't take ANY type of B.S. from any guy!
it only makes you stronger. hang in there.