Should a future wife be more important or equal to her future husbands best Friend.?

Question

He will not keep something away from his best friend that is private and personal to me even if I ask him to. I think it is none of his business but my fiance thinks he should be able to tell him if he wants. He said that his best freind is just as important as I am and he will not keep anything from him.

Answer 1

If he doesn't put you before his best friend, I have trouble seeing this as a healthy marriage. A spouse comes before all others, and if that is too difficult, you aren't with the right person. I guess if someone told me (my wife) that their best friend was just as important as I was, I would be one sad dude. I'd really, really reconsider marrying him.

Answer 2

I think that's wrong. If u requested for him to keep stuff private, he should respect that, and do so. There are certain things that should be that way. But guys will be guys, as girls will be girls. There are just some things we shouldn't tell our spouses and our friends...or atleast the fact that the other knows about something. We never know what another person might think is inappropriate conversation. I hope u can help ur fiance understand this point.

Answer 3

As seen from your question you are surely soon to be wife and your would be husband is still in that feel free college attitude who share every thing with their best friends even the first kiss with the GF.
Don't worry just give him some time and he will get into this responsibility of yours. A wife is far from a GF, she is not just another girl with a good face and figure who he finds attractive.
Once he sets into the grove he will himself understand that this stuff is something different and he has a big responsibility on his shoulders and he has started a family not just a fling.
If he still dose not understand then cooly and calmly let him know that it is embarising for you to go out in frount of his friends if he tells them the way you spent the night and your other personnel things and that there are many things that he and his friends have done and he cannot tell you, and thats a normal thing.
BUT first of all win his heart and love with your charm not just on him but on his whole family. BOYS are much more attached and carying to their family then they are to themselves.
Best of luck and wish you a happy and long lasting marrige

Answer 4

Your key word is PRIVATE. You may want to tell your future husband that you'd expect him to keep his buddy's private information to himself and you expect no less with what you consider private (and personal).

The idea in a marraige is that you are beyond best friends. You should be able to feel completely vulnerable with him. That means you feel safe even when he knows things that on one else knows because you know that he's keeping you AND the information safe. If he thinks he can go and blab everything to his buddy then he's not ready to be complelely trusted. YOU are the one he should feel comfortable telling anything. He should RESPECT your wishes. Think about this and make a firm decision if you really want this in your future marriage for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

There is a reason why a marriage is between two people and not more. The union between partners that have chosen to marry has to be cherished and respected by both of them, and it looks like your fiance is immature. There are things a talk about with my best friend, She was the one who introduce my fiance and myself to one another, and I have known her for over 12 years, yet, she will never be more important to my then my fiance of two years and my future husband, and if he asked me to keep a confidence I surely will. If this makes you uncomfortable, and he won't listen or respect your wishes for privacy, it looks like you will have three people in your marriage. Is your future husband also influenced by his best friend opinions to the point it effects your lives together? Is that how you want your marriage to be?

Answer 6

Best friends are important but if he's not respecting your wishes you have a serious problem. What you tell him in confidence should be just that a confidence and if you wanted the best friend to know you'd tell him. I think you need to have a serious talk with him and maybe some counseling would help you both. Good Luck

Answer 7

As a future wife you should be the first to know any and everything! When you get married you become one person, and that is a bond, that can not and should not be broken. A best friend should know things and should be there to talk to, but should not know anything that the wife doesn't know, it's like cheating. Going outside of the relationship to fix something never works.

Answer 8

I think he is correct. The roles of wife and best friend are different in a person's life. One can not take the other's place too. In terms of trust, both must be equally trustworthy. And hence secrets can be shared with both of them. But there are limits to what a guy can share with his wife and his best friend. Certain things can be revealed to the wife only and not the best friend and vice versa.

Answer 9

Have patience time will make it proper ... his best friend was there with him before you arrived ... he was there with him in worst and best of times ... he was there when your fiance needed support and help ... you have just arrive in his life ... so don't be so selfish ... once married he will automatically understand the importance of marriage and family and his best friend will eventually fade away with time .... for time being stop discussing something very private and personal things about your life with your fiance ....

Answer 10

future wife more important than best friend. best friend there is certain things should be share with. most personal things are share with future wife. in your case lady, that kind of information (private & personal) is not to be share with his best friend.Yes, it is his choice to tell him or not, but he needs to know where to draw the line. If he turly feel that way, you just seen the red flag! Opinion, let him go!