(*^o^*) Foreigners living in Japan...?

Question

What is the strangest or funniest thing anyone in Japan- Japanese of course- has ever said to you?
And, and, and!! If you're Japanese, what is the strangest/funniest thing a "gaijin" has ever said to YOU?!

Thank you Princess, nice to be back!
\(^∇^)/ (*Love your name!)
～Tadaima twikfat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (*^o^*)

Answer 1

I've got so used to certain things that they aren't so funny anymore, yet I seem to remember some questions being baffling to me at one point in the distant past:

"What do you like, bread or rice?"

(I never understood that they could replace each other so easily.)

"How about Japan?"

(What? You want to give it to me? Sure, that would be great! Thanks!)

As previously stated, "Does your country have four seasons?"

(No. it's actually a thin line which stretches along the equator.)

"We Japanese can't distinguish between "L" and "R" properly because our mouths are shaped differently."

(Well, what about all the Japanese who can? Are they deformed? Do they get surgery done while living overseas?)

"English, as opposed to Japanese, has so many homonyms!"

(? Isn't that the whole reason you still use kanji in Japanese? So many words sound the same in Japanese.)

"Can you please speak quickly when we have our lessons? I want to speak at the same speed as a natural English-speaker."

(I am. This is the speed I speak at. Most of my friends speak this way too. We're not rushing to die. You however, don't understand me, so I will slow down for you, if you wish.)

"We Japanese (anything...)"

(Gee, thanks. Thanks a lot for just excluding me from everyone else around. As if I didn't have to deal with that anyway.)

"That's not fat. It's all muscle." (Japanese guy talking about sumo wrestlers, not joking, not trying to make a point.)

(O.K., I realize they are skillful, do have a lot of muscle under there, but I think we see things a little differently on this issue.)

Everything that came out of a certain unlicensed Japanese teacher of English that I worked with was strange, but not in a good way.

Answer 2

Both sets of my grandparents were missionaries to Japan. My dad grew up on Shikoku in Takamatsu and my mom grew up in Kobe on Honshu. My dad went to Japanese school but my mother attended international schools. Therefore my dad learned all the kanji and manners and everything else that a normal Japanese would learn. Fast forward to 2001. My dad had worked for a Japanese telecommunications company (Fujitsu) in Texas for 20 years. When the telecom industry hit rock bottom after the millennium, hundreds of thousands of employees were laid off all across the southeast. My father was one of those. We looked EVERYWHERE in America for a job and couldn't find anything. Finally we started looking in Japan and immediately found several openings. So in summer 2002 my dad moved my mother, sister and myself to Tokyo. (My elder brother stayed in America for college.) I was 14 then and had never moved before and spent my entire childhood growing up in the same house in Dallas, Texas. I attended an international school in northwest Tokyo (Christian Academy in Japan) for high school. After I graduated I decided to take a year and half off. My parents and I moved to Karuizawa in Nagano-ken. (My sister went off to college four years ago.) The moved was very hard seeing as I didn't speak or read any Japanese, but am now fine with conversational Japanese and can read at about a 2nd grade level. I love Japan and will miss it terribly when I leave for college in January.

Answer 3

About my son...
his nose is high,
his head is round,
his eyes are big,
his feet are big,
his hands are small,
his eyelashes are curly and
his skin is white.
From many different people all followed by "ii-na-".
Apparently it's good to look western.
For hubby and I...
Do you fight?
What do you fight about?
What do you eat?
Do you give him an allowance?
Where do you sleep?
I understand why they ask them, but Im puzzled why they think it's okay when they are all exceptionally rude and would never be asked to a Japanese couple.
There are so many funny things that my mind has lost them, but if you are looking for English to Japanese funnies there is a good book something like Bloopers in Nihongo. God I laughed so hard at some of those mistakes.
Please kill me instead of Please let me off the train was an all time fav.

Answer 4

Okaeri nasai Cyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay I lived in Japan for a few years, and then went back to New Zealand for a year. I was in some public gardens and opened up the door for some grandmas who happened to be Japanese, so we started speaking (not a word of English, all Japanese) about all various stuff and difference with New Zealand and Japan and stuff, and then she asked me "Are you from America" I was a little shocked, I mean I got called "Amerika jin" all the time when I lived in Japan, but its so set into their mind that all forigners are American, that even when I was living in NEW ZEALAND which is the opposite side of the world, they would still ask if I was American!! It was such a stupid question, but I politely answered that I wasnt.
Im now 22 and now living in Japan again, other regular questions, what do I eat, where do I sleep, lots of physical questions, guys would want to show me in their pants and children will rub the hair on my arms. My eyes, my face, "you could be a model"
I get asked if bread is the staple meal of my country and today got told I was not very sweaty, because all gaijins are dirty and sweaty and I didnt look stressed. lol. I love Japan.
The dumbest thing Ive ever said, just a few weeks ago, my friends keitai mail address is "devils blood" and we sometimes call him that. But its too long so we talked about shortening it to devil, "debiru" and hes like, nah, just call me "debi" Obviously coz it sounds like Debbie, I was like, "we should call you "debu"
This guy is huge and fat, and I didnt realsie until as it came out of my mouth that I just called this guy debu to his face, lol, but we are best buddies so its all good. felt stupid though. heehee

Answer 5

Once when i was a newcomer to Japan, I was with my tall black friend and we stumbled into a "Japanese Only" club. After we were kicked out by the Hostess, some chick in the club (in a squeaky high pitched little voice)
yelled out "Sorry Michael Jordannnnnn" !

It was hilarious. We laughed all night.

Answer 6

Funny: "I ate a rubber." I forget what she was trying to say (I think it was about Twizzlers tasting like rubber), but it had nothing to do with eating condoms!

Strange: "You are German." This was said to me as a "compliment", but I don't understand it! (Also, he had no idea that I have German ancestry, so it was completely random)

I wish I could remember more, because the Japanese can be very funny (in English and Japanese) with some of the things they say! lol. Great question!

Answer 7

A japanese woman I barely knew basically asked me if my husband and I had an "open" relationship......I guess that's the strangest I can remember right now

Answer 8

Late one night I drinking in a yaki-tori joint. At closing time it was just the master and I. He suggested I come with him to his favourite late-night bar if I was still thirsty. The place he took me to was a gay snack. Being not of that persuasion I was obviously not comfortable there. The okama mama-san said to me, "Don't worry; we won't rape you, we're not like those American gays". Anyways I stayed and had a few beers and they were true to their word. Did you know there was such a thing as gay karaoke duets with two spades?

Answer 9

While waiting for my friend to get money from an ATM, a business man approached me and asked me if I was Norwegian. Also, when I went to Harajuku, me and my friends dressed up (cosplay), and they asked us for OUR picture :D that was awesome.

Answer 10

A lot of my Japanese friends say "You are so cool!" even though I'm the nerdiest kid around!