he's aware that watching it makes me feel like am not satisfying his sexual hunger even though he often praises our sex life as being extremely healthy and interesting. I dont know if am making something out of nothing or if there is something he's wants and is not telling me. i want to keep the sexual part of our marriage alive but feels degraded when he watches porn , what should i do?
2007-08-10 03:54:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
porn does not make a man happy...so, since it makes you unhappy he should stop watching it...if he disreguards your feelings he does not care about you, so give him an ultimatum...it goes, or you go...good luck!
2007-08-10 03:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
If you don't want visualizations coming right at him that will make him imagine that he is the guy doing the gal in the porn movie, then you can't have porn in your marriage, because that is what it does to men.
Porn makes guys think about other women besides you. There's no watching porn and not doing that. It's the nature of the thing.
The sad truth is that internet porn is so prevalent that most guys now watch porn, and it is causing mistrust in millions of marriages, and it is also causing divorce in them too, in great numbers! There are a staggering number of divorces because of internet porn.
Part of the problem is the accessibility. Guys that would think twice about going out and buying a porn video now have it thrust into their face everyday on the internet, and it's so easy to get ahold of it without anybody knowing and not having to enter a sleazy video store and walk up to a cashier. It's so easy that all the men that are tempted but wouldn't get ahold of much porn are now getting ahold of it everyday, and that's tough for them, because it's right there, all the time.
Tell him how you feel. Any man that would choose porn over his wife's feelings isn't a gentleman, nor a good husband.
Porn shouldn't be that important to any married man.
You're sex life with him is not deficient. It's not that he wants something and isn't telling you. It is that porn is unrealistic, and that the women are whorish, and that the scenarios are written for men with the women being freaky nymphos that are always ready willing and able. The problem lies in the gray area, because as women we do do some of the things in the videos, which confuses men as to how 'freaky' a normal woman is, or how to get ahold of a really freaky one for a partner.
Porn just leads to freaky sex becoming a priority the more it is watched. All those images are stuck in his head, and they're not erasable, though perhaps forgettable over time.
You have every right as a wife to ask that your husband not watch porn because it bothers you. And if he loves you more than selfish desires, he will give it up, plain and simple.
2007-08-10 11:30:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You have to ask yourself why you feel degraded by this. That emotion is entirely within you...its not something your husband is doing to you. Its something you are doing to yourself. If you want him to be happy, find a way to engage this fantasy with him. Can you tell from the porn he likes if he has any fantasy you could help with? Use his porn as a window into his sexual mind, and this could help both of you.
2007-08-10 11:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are different types of porn, maybe try watching some other types....alone, if you find any you can stand, bring it home to him and surprise him with it...let him know the other kinds were too much for you, but this you can handle....a lot of people just use it as a tool to help put them in the mood etc.....it doesnt mean he doesnt love what you have to offer...i look at porn as a cartoon, its fake to me...a joke...funny...can you imagine if some of that was true? Those girls would be having orgasms everytime the wind blew!!!
2007-08-10 11:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by Bite me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Feeling are great indicators of how we feel, but not the truth.
Remember our emotions come from inside ourselves therefore no one can make you feel anything unless you let them. So try focusing on the positive and see how that works.
FYI, many men watch porn so the can fantasize that they are the stud in the movie. Its the same reason we watch action movies. We want to be more than we are. The women in it really aren't that important. Its not about you its about use. Think about it why else would straight men watch porn movies with men who are well hung in them. Its not about you, its about him wanting to be more than he is.
2007-08-10 13:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with it my husband watches porn and I use to get upset about it but I learned to agree to disagree.
I think as long as it is in moderation and he is not over doing it it's okay.
Some times we watch it and laugh together about how stupid they look. Or if the guy has a small thing and the girl is going crazy we be like she must be getting paid because he is not doing nothing to her with that little pecker.
2007-08-10 11:00:34 · answer #6 · answered by My Three 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Guys like to watch porn, some gals do too. Your feeling degraded is something you will have to deal with. He doesn't do it to offend you.
2007-08-10 11:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A centreline solution may be that when he sits to watch so called porn, you approach him with your lovelier looks and fragrance, sit with him and request him to make you rejoice with him the porn. Try it (not letting kids know this). It will do.
2007-08-10 11:29:14 · answer #8 · answered by sv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are u happy with your sex life? do u think it is healthy and interesting? that is an important question to ask yourself... maybe u should tell him he needs to start paying more attention to u than he does to his movies, because they don't cook or clean for him! they don't love him and put up with him! maybe let him know that if he continues, he can cry to them every night after YOU find someone who wants YOU and not just their right hand!! He probably won't completely stop, but u could probably find a happy medium that pleases both of u!! (sorry to ramble but i've been in a similar situation!)
2007-08-10 11:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by Heather J 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what u must do is satisfy him more than u r now.because he may b feelin shy 2 ask for more.just giv him all tht u hav as it is freee.if u do this for 2 weeks and u notice a change then good.or else go naked 2 him wen he watches a porn and make him feel tht u hav much more 2 offer than any of these dirty porns available
2007-08-10 11:05:26 · answer #10 · answered by hotty 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It doesnt mean that your not satisfying him... most guys just like porn and it adds excitement to your sex life. Just watch it with him.
2007-08-10 11:13:57 · answer #11 · answered by emily66 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋