Just this morning I told my husband wanted a divorce. He says my reasons aren't good enough and wants to try to work things out. Here are my reasons: fist off we've been together since i was 18, am i now 23, we have 2 kids.We lived with his parents until febuary of this yr. he would go and leave me there with the kids while he went to play computer games at his friends house in another county. When i would try to talk to him, he would walk off from me or ignore, me and now all of the sudden he wants to talk and i can't talk to him because of the way he did in the past. I've felt misserable for at least 2 yrs. staying depressed, and crying alot. i fell i am bettering myself for wanting to go through the divorce.
He hardly ever acts likes he wants anything to do with the kids, or me for that matter. Yet he says "why do u want to do this to me, why do u want to leave and take our kids away, why do u want to leave u are the only reason i try to work, is for you and the kids"
2007-08-10 03:52:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why does he all of the sudden want to change, he has said to me before that he would change, and hasn't so how can i belive him now! I told him i was tired of being depressed all of the time.
help me please i dunno what else to say to him, i'm sick of crying because of him.I just want a good life for me and my kids. thats all i want, i told him i didn't even want child support, because thats not what matters to me.
2007-08-10 03:55:50 · update #1
He's willing to change for right now because he doesn't want to lose you. We always think that person will be there and when they want to leave it scares us. If you and he loves each other try...not for the kids, but for you and he.
2007-08-10 03:58:43 · answer #1 · answered by Rickstar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off don't say things you will regrete later! Even if you don't want child support you are going to need it so give yourselve the credit you and your children deserve...
Second off if you still love him and want to try and you see improvemnets, remember that those things that bring you down are in the past and not to dwell on them they probaly had to happen in order for you to get to this better point which may come...
You need to do thinsg for yourself and show him that you are going to live life with or without him in a happy manner. No matter what he says or does you can be happy even if he is in your face telling you to be sad. Do things with the kids that you have not without him - get a sitter and go out by yourself or witht he gals he'll see that he is lossing you and may shape up.
It does't sound like he knows what you expect from him and if it means writting it down on paper for him to look at from time to time do it.
Only you know what you wnat to do and if you have had enough or not but people do change, they can change and some can't and or simply won't find out what he is capable of doing before you decide on what to do no decisions have to be made over night and things take time to imporve they also don't happen over night. Best of luck to you.
2007-08-10 04:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce should absolutely be the last resort in ALL cases! You guys should first try to get marriage counseling and individual counseling. Marriage is for how to deal with one another, as individual will help you to realize flaws that you may have as a person and help you better yourself. I believe both should be used because we don't realize how much of our personal baggage we bring into any relationship. If you better as an individual then you better in all areas of life including your marriage. I tried both things and it didn't work because I was the only one trying..if he doesn't put his effort in as well, it will never work! I hope you guys can resolve your issues and make it work..it is definitely hard on the kids. You are not wrong of having thoughts on leaving him but you would be wrong if you didn't try to seek counseling before making such a serious decision. Hope I helped....
2007-08-10 04:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by amasmomma05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling first. You should not have gotten married thinking that if it didn't work out you could get a divorce. Grow up and take responsibility! Both of you! You should think of what that will do to your kids!
Look, I am sure it's hard. He needs to change his ways, but have you ever thought of why he may not be home all the time? Do you nag? I am not blaming either one of you, but that's why I suggested marriage counseling. There is always two sides to every story. You are still young. You have time to work this out. If the kids are not miserable there's something that's worth working on. Promise me before you get a divorce, you will work HARD to fix it.
2007-08-10 03:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your first to reasons to divorce are because you have been together for five year and you have two kids.
I've been married over 12 years does that mean I should of been divorced almost three times already?
You have examples of what you don't like, but I believe you need to figure out what is it in those examples that you don't like specifically. Learning from our past is a good way to avoid the same problems in the future.
2007-08-10 05:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You first need to set a time limit on how long you will stay and see if he changes. changes dont come over night they take a while. I have been married for 25 years and got married at 17.we went thru alot granted he is 8 yrs older than me but you would never have known it he always acts like a kid. but he is here for us.He hasnt always been but givin a chance and some councling things changed maybe you s hould try some councling first.good luck
2007-08-10 04:04:39 · answer #6 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try marriage consuling before the divorce, perhaps he needs someone else to tell him he isn't steping up.
If you do get divorced for the sake of your children get child support. He might not even have to pay it if he doesn't make enough money in which case Social Security will pick it up. Also don't wait forever to sign up for child support either because they will not pay for back child support.
2007-08-10 03:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is why its not good to have kids and marry so young. The truth is your husband is still immature men don't mature until there in there 30's anyway. There's no easy answer to this because you have 2 children to consider and only you know what's best for you and them.
2007-08-10 04:08:30 · answer #8 · answered by rebeccaangel2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more you nag about the video games, the more he has shied away from you. It's going to take some counseling and growing up on both parts to fix this one.
2007-08-10 04:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
b/c you opened up and told him you want out. now he wants to fix things and see if they can work
here is what i have to say about all of this. GO WITH YOUR HEART
2007-08-10 03:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by suepooh23 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋