Have decided to move jobs. Have two interviews lined up. Boyfriend none too happy about me moving as we are getting bits and pieces together to apply for a morgage. Am hoping to have finished with morgage application before I move..
Am moving b-coz I am miserable and extremely bored where I am at the moment! Have mentioned this before on yahoo also. Boyfriend thinks I'm unsuppportive for wanting to move at this time! There both only possibilities at this stage but if one of them was what I wanted (they're both positions associated or to do with HR) then I want to take it. Am I being unreasonable here?
2007-08-10 03:41:15 · 26 answers · asked by Tilly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all your honest answers guys but can I just point out that me moving jobs doesn't mean he has to move away or anything!! Both jobs are close to where I work at present, so as to disrupting his life in that way, can I say he remains unaffected. Why does a marraige cert have to come before a house, cert or not isn't going to lessen the chances of it not working out.?For those with the practical advise I'm really hoping that goes through before/if i move JOBS! Be nice to have it work out..Trying to do whats right here!
2007-08-10 04:15:57 · update #1
Hi,I think your boyfriend is being selfish.I would change jobs why should you be unhappy & miss your opportunity to get a better job.Good Luck
2007-08-18 02:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't get this.
Is he upset because your changing jobs may adversley affect the mortgage application?
If that is the only issue here, I have to say he is right. Why not put off changing jobs for a month or so. If you really want to move in and buy a house with this guy, that woud be incentive enough to stay at ANY job for a few weeks.
Jobs come and go. Unless you are offered a fantastic, secure job for a lot more money - you are clearly showing that you are putting yourself and your job ahead of this mortgage application and the commitment to buy a house with this guy.
Starting a life together, married or not, and buying a house together is a huge deal. Don't start this on such a negative note. You can always apply for a mortgage a year from now and have saved up more money for a down payment AND possibly secure the job you always wanted.
I vote wait for a while.
(and as far as the "am I being unreasonable?" - no, I think you are telling yourself something. You need to listen to yourself)
2007-08-18 03:40:30 · answer #2 · answered by tak 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married should come before buying a house. If not, just get excellent legal advice and regard it as a roommate situation. Because that is what it is. Roommates with benefits. Nothing wrong with that if you face that definition honestly. And if you were buying a house with a roommate, you'd be sure to have it thoughly vetted by a lawyer. At some point, someone will move out.
Your boyfriend is annoyed because your changing jobs is going to mess up the mortgage process. If you are miserable in your job, change jobs! Maybe another chance like this will not come along to have a better job!
However, tell your boyfriend that as roommates, you don't make your job decisions based on his convenience. Applying for a mortgage when you are still working for your current employer would be convenient for him. It would help the chances of getting a mortgage. But would you make such concessions for any other roommate?
Marriage is important. It's not being roommates. You two are sharing living quarters and have benefits. Tell him to relax. Maybe you can get some other roommates to go in on this with you and share the payments.
2007-08-17 19:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think "unsupportive" is the correct phrase because a new position does offer the possabilities of higher earnings than your current job. However, the timing is bad because mortgage companies look for stability and a job change raises questions in that regard.
As you say, interviewing doesnt necessarily mean a change will occur. But I do think you need to prioritize what is most important to you. If a new house heads the list, then I wouldn't accept a new position until after you have closed on a deal and your paperwork is all done.
2007-08-10 03:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by barn cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, stupid - why buy a house with someone you're not even married to and why buy a house you're not going to be living in? Why buy a house when you don't even know where you wnat to be? Why buy a house if you plane to switch jobs... Not a lot of this makes any sence to me... If you can't be happy where you are at now, you aren't going to be happy anywhere! If I were you I'd slow down and figure out a few things first and if you are real serious about this guy why move away? Do you expect him to go with you and drop all in his life for you? Somehtings not adding up here! You have to find yourself before you can find a house and find out what your relationship means to you before running off b/xc I'm not happy! Happiness comes from within and your boyfriend is not going to serve you happiness to you on a platter anyway... Re-evaluate things... Why put so much confusion on life, it is hard enough...
2007-08-10 03:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweetie,
Ignore all them red herrings about living apart, and being married, and so on.
The change of job could make you less attractive as a credit risk for many lenders, particularly now there is a lending squeeze happening.
Try to hold off while the paper work goes through, and then change jobs and improve your work life happiness level.
A new home, having satisfyed the "man", and boosted your job enjoyment, jeewhizz who knows what you could do next.!!
Happy Mortgage hunting
2007-08-18 03:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people keep saying he is not your husband / you are not married??!! Fact is, you are not happy where you are. We spend more time at work than we do at home so it is important to be happy in your job. The longer you leave it the more miserable you will become and this will affect other aspects of your life, including your relationship with your boyfriend. Married or not, you have to do what makes you happy (within reason of course!) and your partner should support this.
2007-08-10 03:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by caribean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to hold off till the work verification process goes through. The problem you will face is that they may see you as unstable in working if you change jobs too frequently. Unless it is the same field as you are currently working in, and you can show an improvement in wages it will hurt you ability to buy a house. As for wether you should do it anyway, that will have to be worked out between yourself and your boyfriend.
2007-08-10 03:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being foolish.....to get a mortgage before a marriage certificate...your priorities are all wrong. Plus Prince Charming sounds like a frog.
If things were right ...no..I would not change jobs in the middle of a mortgage deal,,,,bad idea. being unemployed, or new on the job is a big negative to bankers.
2007-08-10 03:51:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the longer you are employed at a single company makes you appear to be a more stable person and therefore a better risk to lend money to. I would hold off any change until after the paper work has been approved , not just submitted.
2007-08-10 05:31:39 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are staying in the same field of work or have a history of doing HR then it won't matter if you change jobs. I hope that makes sense. Maybe you can call your lender or another one (that thinks your interested in them) and ask them. This might not be a problem. I hope this helps.
2007-08-10 06:40:27 · answer #11 · answered by stardust4420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋