I am sick of hearing certain people saying no-one is perfect when it comes to parenting everyone makes...?

Question

Mistakes!!, yes everyone makes mistakes I am in no way a perfect parent, I know my mistakes, I let him have food in return for peace and quiet I buy him things if I feel guilty for working so much, I shout at him when he has done nothing wrong im just irritable the list goes on but in no way shape or form ever on this earth would I have left him alone in this country or any other country at such a young age, please can all parents let me know if you are in agreement so we can get rid of this stigma that leaving children alone is a bad parenting mistake, that is not a mistake it is neglect and most parents have not done it!

shamboo you idiot I was saying that leaving a child alone can not be put down to parental mistakes, Im sure you dont' even have kids though due to your uglyness and no one wanting to breed with you so what do you know!

Answer 1

Good for you for speaking out and I agree. There is 'parenting' your child and there is just 'being a parent' of the child. 'Parenting your child' allows for 'mistakes' since our children and ourselves our both individuals and have unique personalities that have to learn to function together as a family. Just being a 'parent of the child' allow allows you to set aside your responsibities to the child and makes it easier for you to leave them unattended, whether at home or anywhere else. I've seen 'parents of the child' just let their child go off anywhere in the mall or store on their own as soon as they hit the store so that they won't have to be bothered with them while they shop. The child is off in the toy section most of the time, raising havoc with the toys that are suppose to be purchased by someone else. Those toys get dirty and broken by those children and the store loses money, not the 'parent of the child'. If the child get hurt during this time or kidnapped the store usually is blamed by the 'parent of the child'. They can do that with ease since they themselves don't take responsibility for their child anyway or they would have their child with them while they shopped and the child would be a part of the 'family' shopping time. The list goes on and so do the incidents. That is because 'parents of the child' are more prone to neglect their duties as parents than those that are 'parenting their child.' A good example of this is to go back into history and look at how children learned their trade in life. As young kids they were always by mom or dad's side learning as apprentices, the girls learning how to weave and sew and cook and clean and make things and tend gardens and the boys were taught to tend livestock or work with their hand on all kinds of crafts from woodworking to shoe making, etc. There was no such thing as sending your kids off to school or college to be trained by someone else. You taught them. Now the child is sent off as soon as it is out of the womb most of the time and practically learns everything it knows from someone else. Then we want to know why they don't want to stay at home and why they don't want to be part of the family or would prefer to spend all their time at someone else's house. Could it be because the parents at their friend's house is 'parenting their children' and are not just 'the parent of the child.' Food for Thought.

Answer 2

I have to agree. I have made mistakes like the ones you highlight, but I have never left my children home alone even once, not in their own home, and certainly not abroad. It's not because I thought they would get abducted. I mean, that's so unlikely. It's more about the things that could happen - like waking up and panicking, having an accident, wandering off out of the house, etc. I couldn't relax for a second if I thought my children were unattended like that. I certainly couldn't enjoy a meal!

I mean, people have baby monitors set up within their own homes because they are so paranoid about not hearing them cry, or something happening and them not being there! I never bothered with those myself because I could always hear wherever I was in the house, with it being small and my hearing being so tuned in to my kids anyway. The idea of actually leaving the house or apartment altogether with no way of hearing them is unthinkable to me.

It's not as if the McCanns did this as a one-off either. This happened on the Thursday of their week-long holiday, and they had been doing this every night! Scandalous, if you ask me.

Answer 3

I can not accept neglecting children as a mistake. Your own flesh and blood should be the most important thing in the world and should be protected at all times. Gerry and Kate are unfit parents cos they couldn't carry out the basic and most important role in parenting cos they are not responsible parents. Children are suppose to be protected at all times and nothing should become more imported then your kids.

Answer 4

Then go somewhere where all parents are as perfect as you are.

Leaving children alone might be many things - a calculated act of neglect; a choice made after considering the risks (including the perceived likelihood of something happening); a huge mistake. It depends on many things. I believe that the McCanns thought they were doing the 2nd thing on my list when events proved that it was the latter. I don't condone it but it helps no-one, least of all Madeleine, to assume that it was more than that IN THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE.

Most parents might not have done quite that but ALL have done something that could have turned out differently if the assumptions they made were proved wrong. We know they were wrong but we don't know they were culpable.

Answer 5

I totally agree..... It IS NEGLECT.
Anyone who leaves young children alone should be prosecuted.
My daughter was only aloud to stay at home on her own when she turned 16yrs old. This is because I am responsible until she is an adult. I had my children- I am responsible for there safety and getting them to adulthood without anyone else stopping it ...
I have been successful and am proud of being protective. I too am sick of people making excuses and anyone who thinks it's OK is not a responsible parent.

Answer 6

No one is making any suggestions you are a bad parent, you are probably the same as most, but not everyone is the average. To have an average you have to have some who are not like you and others who are like you. What percentage ones like you are, I wouldn't know, but there will be parents, and quite a lot who do not conform to your parenting.
If you consider there are 60 million people in the UK. Half are grown ups. If a minute .001% of those people left their kids alone you would be looking at a UK figure of 300 kids.
My kids are all grown up. Our kids tell us we did a great job, but I've seen friends of theirs who did suffer neglect. Everyone is different.

Answer 7

I agree with you, leaving you kids alone ANYWHERE is not a mistake. Its neglect. I for one wouldn't leave my kids alone in the house and nip over the road to my neighbours house for drinks. My oldest is 10 now and my youngest is 2, If i don't have someone in to watch them I stay home its a simple as that!!!

Answer 8

Well said. Many of the things you mention i do myself but NEVER in a million years would i EVER leave them alone.
I also agree that all the people that are defending them are parents who have also left their own children alone. THIS IS NEGLECT.

Answer 9

You feel guilty cause you know deep inside your child needs you. All the studies show kids do better with a parent at home, and it makes them feel safe and secure. It is a parenting mistake to leave your child alone.

Answer 10

Perhaps the expression should be a mistake of judgement. They thought their kids were safe - they weren't.