Could a giant high-speed buttered-cat array really connect New York and Chicago?

Question

http://www.deepscience.com/justsilly/fun006.html

Answer 1

Not only does this solve the problem with the overpopulation of pets, but this may just solve our energy crisis.

Kudos to the originator of this theory!

Here's another idea. Many say that wind is soon going to be a major energy source for America. And every man can agree that women never shut up. I propose every American family invest in a small, in home wind-powered generator to be placed directly between the living room couch and the television. This way, every minute your wife spends talking, will be another minute of power for your home!

This could also work with a man's flatulence.

Answer 2

I learned three things from reading the page that you linked.

1. I am not the only person in the world who dreams up really stupid ideas.
2. I am not the only person with too much time on his hands.
3. Yahoo! Answers is not the only way to waste that time.

I doubt it would work, since I supect that on a long trip between New York and Chicago, the cats would become hungry and eat the toast, which would disrupt the proper alignment of the cat and the toast. Perhaps simply having the rail cars slide along the buttered side of the toast would provide for a smooth ride.

Answer 3

No, as the cats of the world will unite against the inhumanity of man to cats.
However, a magnetic levitation elevated bullet train system might work.
The cats are already thanking me.

Answer 4

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?"