18 Week ultrasound. Found out the gender..?

Question

Hi All,

I just had my ultrasound at 18 week. I found out that I am having a girl. I have strong preference for boy though this is my first baby. When I found out its a girl I feel totally depressed. Since the time I found out I could not stop crying. I always pictured my family with a first boy. My husband is perfectly fine with a girl and he is trying his best to cheer me up but I have lost all the interest. Please help. I dont want to ruin the beauty of being mom but at this moment cant think about anything else and grieving all the time. Even I lost 4 pounds in 2 days. I am not able to connect myself with the baby though I am trying really hard. Cant sleep and eat... Please guide.

Answer 1

it's perfectly normal... you had a 'dream' in your head of what you wanted and that is not going to happen, so you're going to be a little depressed... almost as if a family member died... you have to eventually accept that the dream you had is not happening RIGHT NOW but may happen the next time... cheer up.... girls are and can be quiet adorable.... think abut playing dress up with her, like a life-size doll LOL... you can do more with girls (clothes-wise) than boys... and the COLORS!!!!! don't worry, eventually things will be okay, it's still early in the pregnancy so you have time to adjust.... congratulations

Answer 2

You know I'm pregnant and I'm 3 months tomorrow...I have a feeling it is a girl, but I still don't know it yet. Almost everyone thinks it's a boy, but when I thought about the possibility of having a boy I got upset because my feelings tell me otherwise, but at the same time I felt selfish and bad because I still don't know for sure if I'm having a girl or a boy and if it's a boy I know I will be happy at the end, even though I am afraid that I won't be as happy when it's born...but I doubt it! the feeling that you get when a baby is born is SUCH A SPECIAL FEELING, that I doubt I will care what it is...I'm going to find out what it is as soon as we can see it on the ultra sound. I feel guilty for the feelings I've had, but I know I will love my baby no matter what. I really don't care if it's a boy or a girl...but I have a feeling it's a girl (or it could be my unconscious mind's preference) and when people tell me otherwise I get upset and mad...anyway...I think you will get over it. It's normal to have a preference honey, but honestly, be happy because you have a husband by your side who is supporting you and helping you out through this. I'm in such an unstable relationship that I don't know if I'm going to go through all the beautiful moments by my boyfriend's side...my financial situation is tight...and that's my most horrible stress right now...not knowing if we'll have enough money for the next bills, etc...but I have to keep my mind positive, even though I cry a lot lately...and so I started making changes tomy budget and now things are starting to look better. Good luck! and be happy you're having a beautiful GIRL!!!!

Answer 3

Dont worry I felt the same way. It took some time to get over not having a boy but in the end I can see how great a gift the baby girl is to my family. Dont worry at all thats why we raise some Tomboys lol. My first I even tried to make girly so I could get use to it and she is just like one of the boys when she is playing (except she gets small crushes on some of the boys lol) Everything will be fine. Buy some things that show your baby is a girl but she is a tough little one and strong enough to hang with the boys any day. You will feel better soon dont worry at all.

Answer 4

What you are feeling is perfectly natural. My 2nd pregnancy I really thought I was having a girl since it was so different from my 1st one (a boy). At the ultrasound when I found out it was another boy, I just wanted them to turn it off so I could leave and cry. I cried the whole way home (hubby was thrilled for another boy). I felt "disconnected" from the baby for about a month afterwards and didn't want to discuss it to anyone but, after you grow a little more and the baby moves more, you may change your mind. If not... when that little bundle finally shows you her little face... forget it! You'll be smitten and forget all about how you felt! Don't force yourself to be happy though... it will come, don't worry!

Answer 5

I think I know what your feeling. I wanted a boy the first time too. I cried when they told me it was a girl. 4 girls later I was expecting a boy. Boy, was I upset when it was a girl!!! You will probably be crushed for awhile. But later I think, you will feel diffrently. When the baby started to kick I got excited. The weirdest feeling in the world. lol Then I began to wonder, what could be so bad with a girl. I started then to try to figure out what my baby girl would look like. Needless to say that really got me excited. To make a long story short my water broke, and I was in the hospital ready to give birth. Let me tell you I was thinking about a boy or a girl anymore, or what it looked like. I started to wonder how I could take care of her and give her the best life ever. She came and I started to cry. Because I was not thinking of myself anymore or what I wanted. It was all about my little angel. Nothing till this day would make me change my mind on what god gave me. Just think of it like that and you will be back to normal soon.

Answer 6

Yes its hard to hear what you didn't want to know that is a girl but Also wanted a boy and now i have 4 Girls and my sister has 5 Boys that is really weird you will be fine try going to shop for baby girl stuff even if you don't buy any thing you will feel better after a while.

Answer 7

Be happy that your baby is ok....My first baby was a boy and I wanted a girl...I was upset but I wouldn't change it for the world or little pink bows...Then I got pregnant 4 months after I had my baby and I thought maybe this time I would have a girl nope another boy...but I am so happy now just wait untill you see your baby girl for the first time then those feelings will go away

Answer 8

I initally wanted a boy with my 1st too. My reasons were because I was afraid to have a girl. I had someone try abduct me as an adolescent girl i was terrified because of this. I chose not to find out on u/s and once she arrived I paniced (how would I keep her safe?)

I decide it was my job (I was chosen) to have a girl make her strong and have her develop her senses of danger/survival/protection. Maybe I was meant to have this girl. Soon after I adjusted to my fear and absolutely fell in love with her and could not believe I had been so foolish about gender. I did have my boy and that time I convinced myself I would be Mom to all girls . He arrived after a high risk pregnancy where health and living were all that mattered. Sex was so off my radar. Then in delivery they announced it's a football player! Do you know I still worry about him too! It's a Mom thing.

Some women feel societal pressure still to this day to have a boy. You may not even be conscious of it. You will grow to love your child more everyday they are with you. no matter what the gender. When you see that little girl interact with your husband who accepted, wanted,and loved her no matter what her gender. your heart will be overjoyed and you will be even more in love with your husband for being such a great girl Dad. it will be a nice unexpected surprise and addition when and if you become a mother to a son one day.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Don't be sad! Both of mine they were 99% sure they were girls guess what I have two boys. On the first I felt the same as u and got kinda sad. On the second I was overdelighted bought the prettys pink dress I could find ruffle socks the whole 9 yards and then after the baby was born they told me my girl was in fact a boy. So it could be wrong I am living proof of that somtimes it takes a little longer for mr winkie to form.So don't buy for girl yet.

Answer 10

Hi! As others said, be happy with having the girl! There are lots of couples who can't have any children! My daughter Jess is 2 and I am expecting again. My hubby really wants a boy. With Jess we did not find out. Now we know it is another girl, but there is a chance they are wrong..... But even with Jess, she is totally into spiderman/comic book characters - because hubby is a big fan!, cars, helicopters, trains, LOVES any size balls BUT also very into girlee things like Dora, soft pillows/stuff animals, etc. We do have girlee clothes, but also some "boy" stuff as well like pajamas and t-shirts! Totally ok! Do not grieve! Just wait and then try again eventually. Good luck!