What to do with a bossy student...?

Question

I start teaching next week in a very small school. I know many of the kids already from having been a student teacher and substitute and know there is one student who is very bossy. She is bossy to everybody, not just the teachers. I see her get shunned because of this and I am not too sympathetic to her plight because I know the bossiness has caused the shunning. Does anyone have any good ideas on how to deal with bossiness? I feel she would be a great leader if I could channel her energy in a positive direction. Any help would be great appreciated - school starts Tuesday, August 14!

Answer 1

Young girls are often bossy because their role model is their mum - who tells everyone in the house what to do.

Perhaps what you've really identified is her frustration that others don't see things in the same way that she does, and so she feels compelled to put them straight. Girls often mature quicker than boys, and are therefore more likely to take control of situations. Unfortunately, when the others in the class begin to catch up, there is a difficult period of adjustment for all concerned.

My advice is to concentrate on developing their intellect and intelligence, and be content to support their emotional and social development without trying to form them into something of your own making.

Answer 2

If you are planning on doing team activities, assign roles in the team that change on a weekly basis. There will be times when she has to sit back and let someone else take control, and when she does this PRAISE HER!!!!!!!!!! Also, praise the other students for being nice...she will see this and want the same praise (hopefully).

At the end of the week, have the teams complete surveys (created by you) about how well the team worked together. Make sure to ask about the good and the bad, but focus on the good. Then have mini conferences with the teams after you have a chance to review their surveys and discuss what they wrote. Or you could pull a few students aside to discuss different points, but make sure you pull this particular student to the side when you do this and point out all the good and bad.

Another thing you could try: have the students write down everybody's name on a piece of paper, one name per line. Tell them that they MUST list one good thing about each person on that paper. Then, compile the lists and create a paper for each student listing all the good qualities they possess. Yes, this will take some time, but it will be worth it in the end. You could even create a bulletin board with this...just hang up all the positive things everyone said.

If your student can see the good, maybe she will stop being so bossy. If all else fails, pull her aside and be honest with her.

Answer 3

Try team building activities and try to put her with other outspoken or intelligent students. If you make the task something that she struggles with, it will force her to listen to other peoples views else look a bit silly when it all goes wrong.
When she is being bossy, you could make comments about how it would be more productive to listen to the other people because they might have good ideas too. Then maybe she will think about what she is doing and calm herself down. Taking her aside after a lesson and having an informal chat about it might also be helpful, it just depends on the student.

Answer 4

Hi OK2teach,
I have wondered often in the past, as a lecturer of physics, with 18 yr olds, why the females are the bossy ones, telling everyone that they are not right, whilst the males just muck about in the bar and turn up scruffy and ill-prepared for a lecture. On balance they are less problem than the girl that consideres herself to be God of the Universe.
A right pain in the whatnot.
A light came on one day when I invited Mrs Bossy-boots to take the stage & demonstrate what she knew about particle physics. Disaster. It deflated her ego to such an extent that she started to find coffee for fellow students.
Something must have sunk in.
I cannot be doing with folks above their station in life, and puncturing the balloon seems to work every time.
Best of,
Bob

Answer 5

Try to make a quiz or any kind of competition study. I think it might touch her ego positively, because most of bossy students like some competition situation. And don't forget to learn more about her interest, and start an interactive discussion from it.
Have a good try!

Answer 6

It sounds like she may have strong leadership qualities. These are not necessarily qualities to be discouraged. She needs to learn how to use these qualities to the best advantage, both for herself and for those around her. Talk with her about this and let her know that you care about her and want to help her develop these qualities in a positive manner. Be her friend. If you tell her in a positive way that she has these good qualities and you'd like to help her use them, she will be more likely to listen to you. She will learn quickly to read your signals and comments. Remind her that no one knows everything, and that she can't learn anything if she's not receptive to what other people say. Tell her she needs to listen to others sometimes because she might get some great ideas by listening. Also talk to her about respect. In order to get respect, one must give respect. And in order to have a friend, one must be a friend.

I've worked with kids like this and it's an interesting challenge, but it's wonderful to see them respond and grow to be better people with a lot to give to others. Remember that those students who are the hardest to love, probably need it the most!

Answer 7

you may use reverse psychology...these things happened because there are causes...one of the primary factors is that the student lack attention at home or he was raised to a family with the same kind of parents. I know that for some reasons, students are seeking for attention..give him what he needs but of course you still have to limit your relationship...you are still his teacher. And also you may also assigned him or made him the leader of the group in class in this sense, he will develop leadership in a right manner...hope this counts.

Answer 8

Like a dog in a pack, she needs to know her place. She must get away with being bossy with some people who should be her superior and that's why she is the way she is. You need to give her a 'wake up call', in the form of a task that is well below her. Let her perform this task in front of peers and superiors if possible. This works for me!

Answer 9

this might be a solution, challenge her with more harder work, make her think like mary poppins says "spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down" challenge her even more so she would be more focused on what to learn and things thereof her mind would be off the students.

While your doing all the challenging just try to offer your assitance if she gets stuck you can open up to her that way

Answer 10

Been teaching for 21 years. Best approach, bar none, is to be up front with the student and flat out tell her what her problem is. Actually, she may have no clue as to why she's being shunned and may welcome your frankness.