My boyfriend of 2years doesnt let me go out with my friends. He gives me the silent treatment if i go home to see my family. He recently made me delete my bebo account because i had male friends from school on it. He checks my phone and email all the time. I know i shouldn be with him but i do love him and we have a 4 month old baby together. I grew up without my father and i always swore i wouldn do that to my child but im startin to think that maybe havin no father would be better for her than havin a father like that?
2007-08-09 22:45:03 · 22 answers · asked by ollieoops 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have a feeling that you allowing him to control you and the fact that you grew up without a father are linked.
You are going to lose sight of who YOU are. Your child will grow up to believe that this is how a woman is supposed to be treated. You will not be happy and therefore will not be the best mother that you can be. Now you tell me, should you stay with him because you have a baby? NO You should not put up with this BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BABY!!!
Get your mind right! Put the child first!
(Realizing this is my opinion only after reading a short paragraph about your relationship)
Good luck!
2007-08-09 22:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by Nika 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this really love or just the fact that ur scared of being alone with a child. If this is the case it won't always be like that. You can't carry on with this relationship that sounds like it is so controlling you will end up hating him for it. Just because relationships break down when there is a child involved does not mean that the child will grown up fatherless he could still have an active roll in the childs life. Think about it.
2007-08-09 22:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him the ultimate, does he really love you and will commit and be responsible for the rest of his life. If not, you may need an alternative. Is he working or just living with the family. Both of you must be ready for the married life and get married if that is what you want. Don't carry on just becos of the baby. God will always take care of the child. Discuss with ur mother but don't deny his rights to be with the baby. You must zero in on what you want since you haven't finish school. Young people are most vulnerable and naive and so gullible. Think positive.
2007-08-09 23:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by zabihah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The absolute worst thing you can do is stay in a relationship purely because you have a child. If anything, either try and work things out with him, let him know that you don't want to be controlled like that, or give him the ultimatum. It works for some people, but if he's not willing to come to the party then hon, you probably need to get professional help or legal advice in relation to your child. Good luck and hope things go well.
2007-08-09 22:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by Tash K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot possibly carry on living in such a possessive relationship. Your child would be far better being brought up in two happy homes than one where you are stifled and unhappy. He/she will pick up on the way you are feeling which can't be good. If you are not together it doesn't mean she would have no father at all does it. Hopefully he would take responsibility for his child and do the best for it. You need to seriously consider if this relationship is the best thing for you, you only live once, If it's the best thing for you to get out of it then its the best thing for your child too.
2007-08-09 23:00:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, Your child can grow up with someone who was like a father
to them. If you don't like the way he is, your baby will grow up with
someone who loves your child and you. That child will look at the guy like a father maybe even call him dad. You make the option, just pick someone who will love your baby as well and make a great father. I know its hard, and it will be. But choose whats best for you and your baby in the long run. Atleast now you know what to look for.
2007-08-09 23:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question with the last line. He is controlling you and this will only get worse and who can guarantee he won't start this behaviour with your child when she grows up. If you have the guts to do it, then go for it whilst you still have this feeling. He will only make your life hell and your child will grow up thinking this is how men are supposed to treat women. She will be much better off with a happy, single mother than an unhappy unit, which is what you are now.
2007-08-09 23:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should never stay with someone just for the kids, you will be unhappy and that will brush of on you child, happy mum is better of your child. And if you do go does not mean your child wont have a farther, he can still be your child's dad even if your not together, you have to put your happiness first as your children always pick up on if there mums are happy or not. When your child's older they always remember if you was sad most of there life, trust me on that. My girl is 10 and she said to me once, " when we lived a that house with the blue door you was always crying" she was 3 years old when we lived there. you should do what best for yourself
2007-08-09 23:01:09 · answer #8 · answered by Sally 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he sounds like a total tw£t.
Get shot, find someone worthy of your love.
I grew up in a family that stayed together 'for the kids' and it was dire. Don't inflict that misery on your bub.
Give him the push, the ickle one will be fine, don't believe all the hype about single mothers being the most evil thing, this is just Daily Mail Nazi propoganda. We know 2 single mums who are great.
But it is hard work.
2007-08-09 22:56:35 · answer #9 · answered by SecretSam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't stay in a relationship for a child, because has the child gets older they pick up on things which are not right between their parents and i can have a long term affect on them.
I believe that having one stable parent is far better that two unstable. Good luck to you and your baby in what ever you decide to do
2007-08-09 23:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋