How should i get my mind of this rut??

Question

i am taking time off from my college, coz nothing special is happening in the coll, and i want to study some things. But i end up wasting time. i have this urge to see porno movies, so i waste my time in it. i get very tired and mentally jaded after it, that i cant do any mental work like studies and all. its always ben this. its been having like a routine for 10 days at least and will do that if i get any free time. sometimes i think i am over lustful ( i am 22 ) and i dont have any girlfriends, coz i am too shy , and the ones who are like me, i dont like them. how should i live a more balanced and celibate life( comparitively)

Answer 1

Sounds like you have sexual guilt issues.

This is probably as a result of media brainswashing and the campaign by politicians and the church to make sex/mastur a bad thing when it is actually completely normal and the most natural and beautiful thing that a human being can do.

It is the celebration of the creation of life. It is our hormones. It is human.

Answer 2

You are hormonal and young. I'm guessing due to being shy, you probably have never experienced an adult long-term relationship before.You are curious. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Having sexual activities or 'love' may be the more important priority that you should be focussing on right now. People need this for personal growth and confidence.

You still need direction, and financial stability in life. But don't deprive yourself of what you feel you need. This is important.

If you really want a balance, you may be able to arrange to see a guidence councillor or youth worker.

Answer 3

I asked myself this same question 23 years ago, now I am older and wiser and I can tell you from my personal experience that youth is the most tricky part of your life, you simply cannot handle it wisely because you want to enjoy every moment without really knowing how. Porno movies, girlfriends, liquor, cigarettes a carefree lifestyle is what you are attracted to, it is a temptation you cannot resist. But my dear let me tell you, all this is not really worth it. Today at 45 years of age, a loving wife and two kids, I have been the chosen one who has been blessed with 'Nirvana'. Yes you can achieve 'Nirvana' in this life. I am not sure whether you are prepared for it or not yet, but only after you achieve 'Nirvana' would you start truly enjoying your life. Make a beginning, read 'Siddhartha' by Hermann Hesse and you would be on your way to Nirvana if you can understand it.

Answer 4

awwww dude
i am 35. i have been addicted to most things - including porn.
i can't offer you an easy answer here but i CAN tell you a few things i found out on the way.
i am an attractive guy, apparently...maybe my gym addiction has something to do with that! but even when i haven't been looking like a poster boy - i've found women were attracted to me...but i wasn't interested. i sabotaged my last relationship with a woman most men would dream of - a beautiful woman who had played in orchestras around the world, a psychotherapist, a serious head, a deeply mystical Goddess, and an innocent as well - the kind of impossibility i only dreamed of....well - we don't even talk now 'cos i always chose the porn, and the booze and the drugs over her.

i realised this - i would rather stay where i was because i was afraid of the changes that being with 'another' meant. i don't want you to get the wrong impression - i have been very successful in my chosen career, i can earn alot of cash, i can have everything in life..but i CHOSE a very destructive path because somehow it seemed to 'fit' me better. i am PAINFULLY shy! that seems funny to people because i have given presentations to hundreds of people and i have been the lead psychotherapist in groups of lifers and other, even harder groups. i've climbed snowdon 5 different ways, i can bench 120 kg and squat over 200kg...i'm a published writer, i've exported music i've made to the outer regions of europe,,,i could go on - there's NOTHING i have met in life that i couldn't excel at...BUT,

NONE OF IT MEANS ANYTHING!!

i have had one period in my life that was good - when i didn't use porn or drugs or alcohol or adrenaline and i FLEW!!!! but it is the HARDEST thing to maintain. maybe there is something there for you? maybe you believe you are 'not good' in some way?

right now i am writing two books - one, a story of my life - the other a sci-fi epic i hope will bring to 'the masses' some waaay interesting questions i found along the way...BUT

i still struggle to stay sober for more than a couple of days at a time.

i have wilfully and repeatedly hurled myself into the void of irresponsible, meaningless pleasure and **** the consequences(AND THE CONSEQUENCES FOR ME ARE FEELING **** ABOUT WHO I AM) - i have served time in a max security prison, i have crossed every moral boundary i could sense.

i tell you this - for us guys, in this world - we lack real fathers. we lack a sense of what it is to be a man. we lack any sense of MEANING!

i am guessing - but, i would guess you have a level of sensitivity that seems impossible to carry in the 'real world'? your sensitivity is the same root as your intelligence - if you have more than the average then there are sooo many places you can dull that down to a level you feel you can deal with the world?

There is another way forward but it is the toughest thing. most people seem to deal with the pressures of life like they were 'hard wired' to be ok. if you are not like that...if you can step over, what do you do?

i used to be a real arch-materialist - life was meaningless and i, because of my intelligence and physical prowess - i felt free to prey on the 'sheep' of the world,,but it has made me deeply unhappy.

i would suggest you read ALL the books of r a wilson - they're all aimed at changing the way you perceive reality....maybe take a look at colin wilson, too, if you feel you have 'other' gifts....and gurdjieff has alot to say about breaking your own mould...BUT...

it comes down to this - no-one gave you any guidance...how do you stay firm in the guidance you decide is right for YOU?

awww **** - maybe all this is beside the point for you? email me if you wanna chat huh? you seem like me a few years back and i don't know if i have anything to offer but i have, it seems, helped many others through this, regardless of my own lack of faith.

whatever - you are NOT ALONE!

o -and ps - if you take this to your doctor he will give you drugs that wil REALLY **** you up! worse than ANY of the **** i have sold in my time!!

Answer 5

You might be suffering from depression.
Talk to your doctor.
And concerning girls. Give a few of the not so lovely girls a chance...often they end of being the best lovers, mothers, wives etc. Often the real pretty party girls reach their peak in high school or college and it is downhill from there.

Chose activities where you are with groups of people....and women too. Check out Yahoo Personals.

Answer 6

You're just young pal, that's all. Normal laddie with normal desires.
Go shopping. Smart clothes and a good haircut will make you feel better about yourself and the bonus is the girls will like you better as well.
Oh, and forget that celibacy nonsense, you're not a monk.

Answer 7

Give alms.