Do all mother's do this?

Question

She calls me her *********. daughter. Also the S word that refers to a woman that sleeps around. I recently got a high paying job and she tells me I won't be able to keep my money and how to spend it. One of my sisters she always brings up around me and tells me how she loves her so much and insinuates she loves her more than me, then when i ask why she says, can't i love my daughter? ''You won't keep me away from her''. Her and my father got divorced a couple years back and now she makes me feel guilty for seeing or speaking to him. She also makes comments about my weight and does the opposite of encouraging me when im working towards a goal. Why do you think she does these things?

shash, i already have done that and she blamed it on me and said her actions were my fault. Recently, she also told me not to trust my own father, which shocked me. She was trying to portray him as bad, saying maybe hes changed, and to not trust him. She does not want me sharing any of my life with him.

Answer 1

Poor you. Parents certainly screw you up don't they. Your mother's obviously hurt from having your father leave and is lashing out at her nearest and dearest - you and your sisters (they probably all get some of this or something similar from her....it's not just you). It's not fair and she shouldn't act this way, but it's her only method of keeping you all with her. She can't control her own life but she can try to control yours as it's a form of security for her. The comments about your weight stem from this same need she has of controlling you and keeping you in her 'camp'. Ignore them. Do you live with her? If so, maybe it's time to move out. Do it gently though. Don't be confrontational about it and try not to hurt her - she's already damaged enough. You say you have a good job with money so hopefully you can afford it and don't need her to support you. What does your father say about it all - or does he also play this game of trying to be the 'best' parent? You just have to be strong. Don't play her games. Don't ask why she loves your sis more than you....she doesn't. She's just trying to undermine you and keep you under the thumb. See your father if you want to. You don't have to tell her if you see him. You're a free agent and can see whoever you wish.

Answer 2

No, normal Mothers do not do it. Your Mother has some issues with your Father walking away from her, and now she is trying to punish you for seeing/speaking to him.If you are old enough (over 18) and make enough money to live on your own, do not stay with her. Make sure that your 'high paying job" will last and calculate how much money you need to live on. Most important - do not lose your self esteem. I understand it must be painful to hear this kind of things from your own Mother. Remember - you are your own person, you have the job and you will get good education! Good luck!

Answer 3

Your concern about your dad. You are a grown up if you are working. Congratulation on you highly paying job. Should try to address or even write if you can't face your mother and let her know that you love both of them as your parents and can do nothing to change the fact that your dad is part of you. Show her the due love and let every thing take it's due course. Stop thinking as hated even if she does it's for no reason keep your self away from being controlled by evil thoughts if you are right then you will remain to be and your mother can do nothing about it. Does she hate her own biological Father? Your parent is your parent no matter their shortcomings and they deserve our sincere due love. Feel on the right truck and ignore the altitude of your mother for what you choose right. We are told to obey them in the lord and not out of him. Our lord is for love and not for hatred.

Answer 4

Because she either doesn't love or she doesn't deserve you. The genes don't make the mother. She should be there for you and love and care for you. And I'm sorry to say: she just isn't worth anything as a mother.

Tell her off. If she cares about you enough to try to get you back: give her another chance. But if she doesn't bother trying to get you to forgive and she says things like "I'm the one that should be forgiving her for treating her mother like that" than forget about her. Even if she at some point WAS a good mother, she's not anymore, and she's not worth the degradation and putting down.

Answer 5

Sounds like she deserves to be slapped. Not that I'm saying you should, of course. Just that she deserves it.

My father used to say "I feel sorry for any guy that ends up with you." Some people just lack charm. My sister is his golden girl, and while I don't really want to hear about it, at least someone is getting something positive from him.

Sounds like your dad is better company than your mum. Ignore her if at all possible. Don't provide her with any information that can be used against you. And, when it's your turn, be a much better mother to your daughters!

P.S Just thinking about your question again, I wonder if your mum has the same problem my dad has with me. He thinks I'm too much like my mother, and he doesn't like her at all! He sort of merges the things he dislikes about her (whether she ever did them, or he just thinks she did) with his idea of me. Ironic really, since I've very much like him in a lot of ways.

Answer 6

She's obviously angry at the world for her situation, and since you are close at hand, you receive the brunt of it. For your own well being and self esteem, you should move away if you can, or at the very least, distance yourself emotionally. It's OK to tell her why, she needs to know that you can command her respect.
Unless he has done something really evil to your mom, do not stop seeing your father, it is your right.
Set your mother an example, learn to square your shoulders and be responsible for your own happiness.

Answer 7

Oh man hun, that's a tough situation right there. No, not all mothers do that...most mothers don't actually. Nobody can say exactly why she is being so cruel to you, but my best bet would be that she's jealous of you, as cliche as that sounds. She's trying to make you feel inferior to her, always dragging you down. She might feel as if you've lived your life out better then she has, or that you've made more accomplishments then her...so she tries to make you feel inferior to make herself feel better.
But, who knows. Nobody can say for sure, that was just my guess on it.

Answer 8

yeah there is always some level of this from parents. my mom may not be as extream as she is being but she always makes her comments! just tell her how you feel and if she cannot accept it, then you dont have to take it from her and tell her that as well. then she might straiten up or might not. then you can just not talk to her for a wile, that might be tough but ignor some of her phone calls and she might get the hint instead of cutting it off completly, you can always be short when you do decide to answer, if she starts her crap, just tell her that, i dont need this from you, take care tell her you love her and hang up... soon enough she will stop it and realize how dumb she is being

Answer 9

your mom is sooo strange not all mothers are like that. It feels like she playing at that "power" thing that some bad people use to feel superior and controlling. She trying to bring down your self-esteem so that she will always be better than you. just ignore her and if you want to talk to your father then do it.

Answer 10

This woman is evil and is poision in your life. Even if she is your mother, you need to put her out of your life completely. When you keep her in your life and allow yourself to be treated this way, you are giving yourself the message that you don't matter. It won't sting very long, you'll come to realize it's not you, she is broken.