Okay, I think something is wrong with me. I seem to never get aroused when I should. I am so embarrassed to even be asking this. I have friends who are always horny and like HAVE to have sex. It is very difficult for me to reach orgasm most times. I wish there was a pill or an aphrodisiac to help me with this problem! I just want to be normal! Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated! Help!
2007-08-09 20:56:25 · 7 answers · asked by dr chandler 3 in Health ➔ Women's Health
A partner who knows what he's doing and is concerned about your pleasure FIRST. They don't come in pill form, but they ARE out there. But not in Highschool.
2007-08-09 21:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't be embarrassed. There's nothing wrong with sex; it's great. The fact that you simply want in on the action is totally normal!
Here's 6 possibilities you can examine:
1) Are you currently taking any other medications? Some medications can inhibit sex drive. If you're on anything, talk to your doctor to find out if that's one of the side effects. If it is, ask to change drugs.
2) Also, what's your age? Most high school and college kids are perpetually horny, but not all. Some people don't get it until later in life. I've read that men generally hit their sexual peak between age 18-25. For women it's generally 25-35. Of course, there are always exceptions to this general rule. I think my sexual peak started at 16...and it shows no end in sight (I'm 31)! Not that I'm complaining or anything...
Anyhow, maybe you simply haven't hit your stride yet.
3) Maybe you have something wrong with you. And I'm not saying that in a "mean and insulting" way or a "you should totally panic" way. I just mean that the human brain is a very complex machine! And like a car engine, sometimes it doesn't run absolutely perfect. Take me for instance: I have a minor learning disability...but it didn't stop me from earning my master degree and starting a great career! I just had to work a bit harder than the average student and needed a little medical help along the way. So perhaps you have a slight chemical imbalance or some other minor glitch that a doctor could easily fix for you. It wouldn't hurt to ask a doctor, right? They might be able to prescibe something.
4) It might by psychological (as opposed to psychiatric, which is what #3 was). Maybe you had a bad sexual experience and you're subconsciously afraid of, or disinterested in, sex. If it's deep in your subconscious, you might not even realize this is happening. And the "bad experience" could have been so insignificant at the time that you might not remember it or even realize that it's the cause.
To use myself as an example again: I HATE 90% of all foods with a "mushy" or "sludgy" texture. I can't even eat them; they make me gag! I like salsa, ice cream, oatmeal, and A-1 sauce. That's about it. Guacamole, whipped cream, sour cream, jello, pudding, cottage cheese, mustard, ketchup, clam chowder, yogurt, mashed potatoes, refried beans...you name it, I can't stand it. Why? I have no idea!! I've tried to eat those things and make myself like them, but no dice! I'm thinking that when I was really young, too young to remember, I must have eaten something that texture that totally disgusted me and it put me off of "mushy" for life!
In any case, you might want to talk to a psychologist, counselor, or sex therapist.
6) How many partners have you had? How many have they had? If you are inexperienced, maybe it's simply that you just haven't happened to be with a partner who can really get you off. If your partners are inexperienced, there's a good chance they don't know what they are doing yet and/or don't know how to please you.
Get some sex toys, play some games, watch some porno with your parnter, jump in the hot tub, have sex under the stars, wear sexy lingerie, have some fun with whipped cream, handcuffs, etc, etc...you may find something that really gets you off and/or makes sex a lot more interesting for you.
Good luck!
2007-08-10 04:05:48 · answer #2 · answered by The Man In The Box 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what is causing your lack of a sex drive. Everyone is different and no two people like the same exact thing from their partner. Before you go looking for a medicinal cure to your problem, try other things first. One thing you might want to try is talking to your partner, telling him what you like and what you don't like, to go faster, slower, etc. It's hard to tell from what you wrote, but if you haven't had much experience, then perhaps this isn't something that's very easy for you? Maybe you feel too embarrassed or expect your partner to know what to do. I can understand the embarrassed part...most people feel like that at some point, but there really is no need to be. If you're not getting what you want out of sex, then you have to tell your partner what you like and what you don't like to help things along. Figure out what's good for you and ask for it. A caring partner should be willing to try new things and most guys like that stuff anyway. It will also deepen the closeness you feel and perhaps stimulate your mind as well as other things.
There are many other things you might want to try. Reading some books may help and there are many web sites that could help give you ideas that would give you the results you seek. It might not be something physically wrong with you at all. It just may be that the communication in your relationship needs work.
Sorry I don't have any drug names for you, but this is a situation best discussed with your doctor. A lot of the pills and drugs they have out there for this sort of problem are really dangerous, especially if you have an exisiting health problem. Give the other stuff a try first as well as see a doc. It'll probably work out better for you in the end and be less dangerous. And don't feel like you should be like everyone else that you know. Maybe for them they have a high sex drive, but that is not normal for everyone. And besides that, some are not physically aroused so much as they are mentally aroused. That might help you too.....getting your mind into it as well as your body. A bit of romance might fix that part if your partner is willing to provide it? Figure out what your fantasy is and talk about it with him. Maybe he'd enjoy it too. You never know and its worth a shot.
Good luck.
2007-08-10 04:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by Top Alpha Wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are pills not sure how effective they are...
I know that to have a great sex life, I need to feel comfortable, and adored, sometimes it is good to think about what you want to do, and ensure that you have enough foreplay, and sometimes woman won't have an orgasm during sex and will need manual stimulation (or digital).... It is good if your husband/partner can be sensitive to that and continue with you until you reach orgasm
2007-08-10 04:02:16 · answer #4 · answered by Abbasangel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check your diet!
Eat loads of fish (or take fish oil supplements). Dark chocolate is also great for sex drive.
2007-08-10 04:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have a china town near you, that's where i'd start looking.
2007-08-10 03:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by Todd N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u want information http://www.skincarefairy.com
2007-08-10 16:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋