You Ever had a "mate" like this?

Question

My "best mate" and i had an arguement, after i accused him of not caring, because i was upset, and he laughed at me, and he also ditched me to go fishing with another mate, and he lead me on aswell about something else. Making my mood go up slightly, then telling me that he didnt want to, and dropping it like a load of bricks. Even though he has done all this, i apologised for calling him "uncaring" but he didnt take my apology, so screw him.
But anyway, have you ever had a mate like that who has done anything similar like that to you?
and do you think i was right to not care anymore (at this precise moment, im debating wether to wreck his life more, for what he did to me. His last gf, and still current love interest only dated him once, and that was for three days, as a pity thing. I also have other things on him)
What do you think?
Have you ever been in my position? Or something similar to it with one of your friends?

Answer 1

Seriously "mate" Deal With It! You sound like a girl crying about their friend.

If the bloke is such a loser get over it and hang out with your other mates! Assuming you have some, which maybe why you are whinging about this!

Answer 2

I have been on a really rocky road with one of my friends, and it's still pretty bumpy sometimes. I got in an argument over all the stuff she's done -- drugs, beer, sex, and more -- and in the end I figured out that I can't change her, and I'll just have to let her live her life and come to me if she needs me. She's 15, btw, as am I. But I decided not to drop her as a friend or hurt her anymore because why be enemies and lose all that you had when you can be friends?

Answer 3

I have, indeed, been in a 'similar position'. It's frustrating that your "best mate" couldn't re-assure you that he 'cares' as basically that is all you wanted, re-assurance.
When you say 'do you think i was right to not care anymore'... that's the trouble, you do care, otherwise you wouldnt' be bothered.
Retribution is not the thing, and if you do 'wreck his life', is that going to make you feel any better? it'll just bring you down to a level where you don't want to be. Keep his 'secrets' inside, because you wouldn't like it if he 'wrecked your life' with the 'stuff he knows about you'.

Answer 4

i dint think you should wreck his life, there is a saying that goes, do unto others what you want done unto you. He is being a jerk and I think you should just go on with your life and forget you ever knew him, people like that only care about themselves and he has probably "forgotten" about you already. I know it is difficult especially because he was a close friend and he treated you like a doormat. If you do something to hurt him, one it will come back to you. I know it sounds soooooooo cliche but it is true.

Good luck, Hope everything works out for you

To answer your question, yes I did once have a friend like that and soon after hurting my feelings she had done it to somebody else and went on like that untill everyone realized she was a big ***hole, at the end she was left with nobody.....

Answer 5

I've had a few, and one thing is always a certainty. They come crawling back. Thats when you get satisfaction, its not worth getting yourself into trouble by causing trouble for them. Trust me the best thing to do is to become a better person than them and walk away, take the upper hand and get on with your life. I have had friends come back to me after they crapped on me because they see just what a good person i am. They realise what they have thrown away and it feels great to say 'sorry you had your chance, you blew it, now bugger off!'. People like that end up sad and alone. Find some friends worthy of you x

Answer 6

Seriously, don't give him the satisfaction, find yourself a mate who is worth caring about.
I think everybody at some stage has a mate that isn't really a true friend, it's almost like having a bad relationship and can make you feel pretty awful. But you've got to just rise above it.

Answer 7

If you are planning to 'wreck his life' after one argument then I dont think YOU are much of a 'mate' either.

What he has done might have been insensitive but if you are real friends you will talk about it and move on. If not then just move on. Life is to short to get wound up about little things and if he doesnt deserve your time then there are others who will.

Just dont lower yourself and get into some petty war .. it will make you look bad.

Answer 8

If his behaviour is like that all the time then let him go and move on... ignore him and even forget you ever met him...

My " best friend " of 25 years told me recently when i told her i was going out with somebody, that because i didn't tell her from the beggining i was no longer her friend but just an aquaintance.... you know what i did.. i told her to F.. Off and never speak to me again... friends are there to be happy with you and not jealous or make you sad... people like that ...you don't need them arround..... Totaly ignore him and make new friends... don't even show him your disapointment.. just totaly dissregard him....

Answer 9

Let it go, by holding on to it you are letting it eat away at you. Just accept that he was no good as a mate and learn from it. He will get his just desserts at some point without you seeking revenge. Show you are the better person by cutting your losses and moving on.
You are better off now anyway so already you have gained!

Answer 10

Dear James,

In truth, you know, it sounds like your best friend has broken your heart. That can be a rough one. It is not funny and it is not casual. It is real and it hurts like the dickens, emotionally. Because it lingers and in the back of your mind, you keep thinking about it, long after it's over with on the surface. In a sense what you are feeling is enormous betrayal instead of the comforting affirmation of a lasting friendship. We all go through this stuff as we go through life. It is based on our expectations. If our expectations are realistic, we get realistic results and are not disappointed. But if our expectations are greater than they really ought to be, then we are bound to be disappointed. You may have gotten your hopes up with this fellow, only to be let down by his behaviour. If you think about it, it may not rise to the level of betrayal of trust, but it may begin to come close to that. In the meantime, what to do?

Well, getting even only brings you to the level of the person who upset you, so that's out. It is impossible to level a score that upsetting. The way you level it is to step right back from it. As they say, "Do not pursue." Even our fighting men in the army when fighting the enemy have an expression to "Fall back and regroup," which is what now needs to happen within your heart. You need to step totally back from this person so further upset will not add insult to injury, or damage your own self esteem further. It is so easy to step back. Simply do not be available to him. This preserves your sense of who you are and it assures he will not be the source of further annoying behaviour. In the meantime, you get to live your life without all that extra baggage (issues related to him) which is so upsetting to you right now. Revenge and payback and all that stuff sound sweet, but they do not last, and being that sort of person who gets back at someone makes you into a lesser Soul. So all these people here on Yahoo! Answers who are suggesting you let it go and just step back to limit damage are spot on. They are really advocating for you to rescue your self esteem and to preserve your self worth intact. Damage control. No further insults nor disapointments from this individual for awhile, &c. And if he comes calling for any reason, you can be too busy if you are not quite ready to meet with him yet. Or you can agree to meet with him, but the nice part about stepping back (sometimes called "doing the fade") is that it puts the control of this unpleasant situation squarely into your hands as regards if and when you see him. You get to control how much of him you would care to see. You can also politely decline to meet with him at all just now, telling him you are not ready for more abuse quite yet. Getting control of this mess will make you feel a whole lot better about who you really are inside. And yes, it is very clear he has absolutely no idea how fond of him you really are.

Answer 11

I think you sound mean. I don't think I like you much. I think your mate is better off without you. "I'm debating wether to wreck his life more.......i also have other things on him". Revenge is not a nice thing my dear. Make peace with your mate.