Ah! This is the worst thing I have ever felt. I have been with my current boyfriend now for almost a year- I am even taking him to my hometown this weekend so that he can meet my family. But recently, I moved to another city (completely uprooted myself to do so) and have met another person, who is incredibly amazing. I don't know this guy well enough though to sacrifice my relationship for him AND my current boyfriend has been an unconditional and incredible support for me suring our whole relationship - but I can't help what I am feeling and I am confused! I guess I am looking for some validation. Please do not say anything nasty, I am a geniunely nice human being (with a major, major problem).
2007-08-09 20:06:43 · 11 answers · asked by FutureDoc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds to me like life is just throwing a few curve balls your way. This new guy may be exciting and fun and adorable ... but he doesn't have one thing that your current beau does: a true understanding of who you are and what you are about.
Things like this happen all the time - life tests our strength, commitment, courage, and honesty. All of these factors are being tested in this particular situation.
Make a list for yourself, of all the reasons your boyfriend is a wonderful person. List all the things you love about him, like about him, and admire in him.
Then, make a list of what you know of this other guy.
Sometimes, a visual will help your mind face reality better than just KNOWING what is right.
Good luck!
2007-08-09 20:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by devyl gyrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh! This is a tough one. Does this new guy know you are interested? Does he know you're already in a committed relationship? I know you've heard the saying..that the grass is never greener on the side?? (you are in the "I want to check if it is" mode)
With the unconditional and incredible support you're getting now, it may be hard to find again (but not impossible).
However, I get how you can't help what you are feeling.
I say, you have to try to forget or turn away from the new guy and think about what you love and how grateful you are and remind yourself why you fell for this guy in your committed relationship.
Remember..one man's loss is another man's (or woman's) treasure. If you decide to go for the new guy and it doesn't work out, then you try to get back with this unconditional supportive guy who ends up with someone else that replaces you and will now give support you used to get...it'll be your loss...However, there is a reason for everything (it may be, in your case, meeting this incredibly amazing guy) where this could be your true love?! OR be a hard lesson on heartache you will experience that you may be feeling that you will put your current bf in...If you have faith, pray for an answer. He will always lead you to a better place, IF you trust in Him.
Oh and if you're REALLY sure about the new guy, try your best to not get your current bf to meet the family..otherwise, it will definitely get more difficult for you to move on. Take care!
2007-08-09 20:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by LoveSlave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that you are just caught up in the excitement of moving to a new place and meeting new people, and this guy caught your fancy because he is part of the newness of everything. However, are you sure that your boyfriend is who you really want to be with? He sounds like a really amazing guy, since he's supported you and you feel comfortable enough with him to take him home to meet your family. But than again, you have started a new life in another city, and your relationship with this current boyfriend really hasn't been going on for that long. Maybe you owe it to yourself to at least dip your toes into this big new pond. At the very least, just give it some time. Don't feel shy getting to know this new guy...there is nothing wrong with being friends. If it develops into something else, you'll know that it just wasn't meant to be with your boyfriend. You could also try sitting down and talking to your boyfriend, if you have the kind of intimacy that is required for something like that. Tell him that you're still reeling from the shock and excitement of the move, and don't know if you can see things working out long-term with him. Give yourself, and him, a chance to give the relationship an honest appraisal. Where does he see it going? Do you share the same goals? Do you want similar things from life? These are all important questions to consider when deciding whether or not to pursue a long-term relationship with somebody. I wish you luck, however, and if this new guy is something that you think you would like to go after, then hey...you only live one life, and you deserve for it to be everything you want it to be.
2007-08-09 20:15:55 · answer #3 · answered by Molten Orange 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-09 22:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, you can't help what you are feeling. You have to weigh what is more important to you. The prospect of a new and great relationship or your current relationship. Also look at your feelings for your current boyfriend. You mentioned that he has been unconditional in your relationship, but how have you done on your part of it? If not so well, maybe it's not progressed enough to go and introduce him to your family. Know this, if you can't say honestly to yourself that you are content with how your relationship is, and where it is going then it's not right to continue with it in the mannar you are.
2007-08-09 20:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry this kind of things happens to all of us. You are not a bad person and you have done nothing wrong. In fact, this is normal. I would not do anything at the moment. Don't make any rash decisions. Don't agree to get married with your bf and do not agree to let him go either. Do not sleep with this new guy but also do talk with him and get to know him a bit. Since you have not married your bf you are not obligated to be with him for your entire life. Try and ask yourself what it is you want with your life and what kind of guy do you want to have in it? If the current bf is still the one for you...not the one who you feel guilty about leaving, then keep him. If this new guy (after you give it time and get to know him more) is the kind of guy you want for the rest of your life, then its time to say goodbye to your bf. I hope this helps but please just wait and let time be on your side.
Cheers
2007-08-09 20:15:42 · answer #6 · answered by immune01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time long distant relations never work out and you have to be really committed to them. If you have feelings for this guy give it a chance and back off from the new one. If you aren't married then who's to say you can't be friends with both until you decide your own fate.
2007-08-09 20:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just become friends with the new guy for awhile. Don't rush into anything, or make any decisions until you know him well enough to decide what you want to do. You can learn a lot about a person by entertaining a friendship only relationship.
2007-08-09 20:12:07 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
quite a dilemma.
the first thing is, are you in love with the first guy? i don't think so, because though he is DEFINITELY in love with you, you just want him to be with you - much as a friend. a good and a great friend.
the other guy..well.. he's a lucky b, alright. i don't believe in love at first sight, but it might just be that you love him because he fits into an equation of yours that you didn't even knew existed!
be careful.. choose wisely and once you make a decision, tell them all as it is. no fluff and no bs. tell them AS IT IS and as soon as possible.
2007-08-09 20:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love ur boyfrind tell him how your feeling and maybe try to work on it together i now it sounds like suicide but maybe you two will figure out why ur feeling this way
2007-08-09 20:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by Squirerivera 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋