we have been married for 14 years have 3 kids together.a few months ago my husband had pencreititus and was told not to drink alcohol, he is! also he had been going to a methadone clinic and while he was sick was able to get off it but now i think he is using again cause i see all the signs his mom is sick and needs care at home so he is there alot hes not working and just has a ton of time on his hands to do things he shouldn't be i sometimes miss him when hes taking care of his mom but when he is here he is just so annoying i think he is hiding over there so i dont see what he is up to i love him but i really dont like him at all lately i dont get excited to see him anymore its sad cause i think its over but i dont want to make any rash decisions, please help SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY!!!
2007-08-09 19:55:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok now i have proof he is drinking i took a sip of his "juice" and it was mikes hard berry! ha said it tasted funny bcuz it had a laxitive in it i thought to my self yeah right you dont need help making the **** come out! anyway i had day surgery today for a female problem and he did stay with me along with our oldest children but before i went in he was nodding offf so i can also say he is using again and last night he stayed over his moms no phone call to say he was so i still think he is hiding out there i dont mind that he takes care of her but there have been times she has taken two days worth of meds at once so how good of an eye can he be keeping?? i know he's not cheating cause the kids go with him and i call and he is there but it feels like it cause the drinking and using consumes him in the way another woman would. he told me today before i want in for surgery that i am his everything and it felt wierd i know i do love him but its still hard to like him at all!!
2007-08-10 19:38:51 · update #1
For better or for worse..... don't convict without proof...even if your suspicions are correct, you need to KNOW b4 any decisions are made. Is it possible that there is a hidden resentment towards his mom? Not a malicious resentment, but a "he spends more time with her" type of spite?
On the flip side, if he IS using again, the children need to be the priority. Seek a family counselor to try to patch things up. Even an ounce of love is worth salvaging.
2007-08-09 20:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by imrt70 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. That is the first thing to do. Communication is the key to open up a lot of unanswered questions such as "IS IT OVER?"
I hope that both of you are only going through a phase where each of you wants to revisit his/her individuality.
Give him some time-off by not being too asky about the things that he has been doing. You will still have to monitor though, the degree of addiction that he has on his vices. You might want to take this up with his doctor.
As for his mom... well... you can't keep him away from his mom. I bet if the same thing happened to your mom you will do the same thing he is doing right now.
Just accept all the negative things you see in your husband. Love him more, I think he needs you most at this time of his life.
2007-08-10 03:06:49 · answer #2 · answered by rhodamarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from your question this is very sad to even try to answer. he needs to look at you as well the children to and help out more than he does that is why so many marrages end. in lack of it not just being one sided . it. takes .2. in raising children not one seems like he forgot that you truley have my simpthy . on this . my opion?
2007-08-10 03:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see you love him. It ain't over until you proclaim its over! Try talking to him, a serious, sincere talk. I wish you both good luck. Save the marriage, its been 14 years, for those precious kids and for love.
2007-08-10 03:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by svit-kona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO I think you have to do what is best for your children. Maybe it will help you to think about it like that instead of your emotional turmoil. It's definitely a hard decision to make, but think of your children.
2007-08-10 03:01:02 · answer #5 · answered by sassylass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not put your children through this drama. Leave him for now. Tell him that if he gets help, you will consider coming back to him. Do not continue to put yourself through this, or expose your children to his actions. It is not fair to you or your children.
2007-08-10 03:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him another chance & try hard to keep him & retain the old days...don't waste 14 years just like that.
2007-08-10 03:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by dolciy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him, try to get some help marriage counseling.. Good luck!!!
2007-08-10 03:15:41 · answer #8 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't lie to yourself. you know the answer already.
2007-08-10 03:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋