How can I overcome my bad procrastination habit?

Question

Don't just tell me to get off my butt - I'm asking for serious answers. I've got an anxiety problem that flares up when I go out in public, so finding a job is a bit difficult for me.

Any tips or ideas?

I don't have a problem with anxiety in most situations unless I'm in an enclosed building or around individuals I don't know.. I work out each day - that doesn't affect me.. I'm going to a psychologist to see if she can help.. But I am nervous about opening up to someone who doesn't care.

I'm not afraid of being laughed at... I'm afraid of something bad happening to me.. I feel very vulnerable.

Answer 1

There are really two approaches and both can be done.

1. Shaping. Don't try for your end result right away. List as many situations that provoke anxiety that you may encounter. Rank them from most difficult to easiest. When you've determined the easiest task, see if it can be broken down into smaller pieces. Start small and master the smallest parts of the easiest task. Reward yourself for your successes. When you are no longer anxious with a task, proceed to the next one on your hierarchical list.

2. Explore possible reasons or experiences that may have led to your anxiety. Explore underlying causes, thoughts or feelings. With understanding of the depths of your feelings, you gain power over them. You de-mystify those dynamic traumas that ricochet and bounce around the depths of your "self" and through understanding - you can integrate these traumas back into your aware mind and thinking and instead of being paralyzed by these traumatic influences, you can access and gain strength from them.

These are the 2 approaches commonly pursued in therapy. When followed through, both help. It's often better to focus on one approach at a time.

These approaches can be done yourself. But, working with a trained therapist is usually far, far more effective.

A trusting relationship with a friend or loved one is also a valuable piece of the picture. Sometimes, you can borrow strength from a relationship, to help you jump hurdles. It's like taking out a bank loan to start your small business.

About your experience with your therapist, if after giving him/her/it a chance, you don't feel she/he/it cares about you, you might be better off with a different therapist. The caring is really important.

A primary issue is - what are you successfully avoiding through maintaining the status quo? Imagine, what if you didn't have an anxiety/procrastination problem, what would you have to do? What role would you have to assume? Often, this question helps uncover the strongest source of our anxiety. This may be worth thinking about!

With self-understanding, we gain the mountain-climbing tools we need to climb out of our personal pits! Good luck on your journey to personal success!

Answer 2

The first thing you have to do is to understand what is it that fuels your anxiety. And that is usually not an easy question to answer. You say that it flares out when you go out in public; but what is it you are afraid of? making a fool of yourself? failing? getting laughed at? ....?

Once you understand what is it that makes you anxious (and you can describe it in a single, easy to understand/relate to phrase) you need to assess how real the fear is. If someone laughs at you, is it that bad? it may be that this particular person is an idiot, so it is not you that is the problem. And so on.

Once you understand the fear, you take steps. Go out into a simple situation (meet a new friend) and have a chat. Demonstrate to yourself that what you are afraid of is not that bad; if it happens is not the end of the world, but it is very likely that is not going to happen. Once you are comfortable with that situation move to the next one and so on.

It is not going to happen overnight, but you need to understand that YOU have to overcome the fear. It exists only in your mind, not out there in the real world.

I'm sure you can conquer that fear. You are brave enough to ask for help and look for a solution!!

Good luck.

Answer 3

Looking for the perfect job will take you a lifetime. Don't try. All you should do is look for a job that will give you a skill you don't have. Issue yourself the challenge, that you want to continue to learn. That way, there is no fear of not failing...you are learning about the hiring process, and the economy, and if you are hired, you are adding to your resume, and learning new skills that will make the next job earier to get, and easier to excel in. Good luck!

Answer 4

Get a "they are as frightened of me as I am of them" mentality. Nobody in this world is more or less important than you, so their opinion matters as much as a stranger's.

A self-proclaimed procrastinator myself, I do the following: Pretend I am an outgoing person who isn't nervous.

I know that doesn't make sense, but seriously try it. It will make sense to you when you actually do it.

Answer 5

Baby steps. As you feel more secure you'll move forward.

Start today. Take a walk, look people in the eyes as you pass them and say hi.

If you can't go into public, working daily is a huge first step.

Get counseling. You're not crazy and you're not alone.

Answer 6

Take an ADHD test online. If you pass (fail?), find a good ADHD coach. It was the best decision I ever made.

If you are not in the "club." I hope you find your answers.

Answer 7

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do little" - forgot the authour; but this quote helps me to do what I can do all the time.