I told my ex that I had an abortion and I didn't, what do I do?

Question

I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's baby. We broke up two days after he found out I was pregnant. He started to act incredibly harshly towards me and began making threats. He has completely changed since we were together. He used to tell me that if I got pregnant, he'd support me and we'd put it up for adoption or keep it (I'm 16 years old, please, it's too late for a lecture and I am very aware of how this decision will affect my life). So when he first found out that I was pregnant, he was considerate then suddenly he broke up with me and wouldn't talk to me for a while. Then all he would do was insult me. He became very verbally abusive and I knew that wasn't healthy for the baby. So I obliged, and told him that I would have an abortion. Once I agreed, he began acting like abortion was horrible. I went ahead and told him that I had an abortion. The trouble is, this whole situation has taken place texts and we will be going back school and he'll know I lied! What do I do?

Answer 1

tell him to suck it up and be a man. If he's old enough to have sex he's old enough to be a father. Make sure he pays support too.

Answer 2

do the crime pay the time.. Its an 18 year sentence. (at least) Child acts like an adult and does adult things child learns to act like an adult a WHOLE lot more.. Its your choice to tell him or not. But know that if you dont tell him you can never get support for the baby which at age 16 you will need unless your parents are rich and want to support another person. Having a baby does not ruin your life. I had four kids by the time I was 23 the oldest and youngest are 10 years apart. You do the math. You are going to have to work your butt off to keep up with school and a job if your parents are not well off, but in the long run its worth it. People who push adoption generaly dont really know what it feels like to have to give away a person you grew inside you, a person you love before you ever see them. Dont be pushed to do something you dont want to just because everyone else says its the best thing to do. Even if your parents pitch a fit about it do what you want. Its your body and your baby and if they do not support you or your decisions there are always programs to aid you and the baby until you can finish school and get on your feet.

Answer 3

Well if he confronts you about the pregnancy knowing you didn't have an abortion.. I would tell him that you couldn't go through with that... And I'm done with you too... Have you thought about adoption.. There are so many couples out there looking to have a family maybe that will be an option for you... I wouldn't have the baby's dad in your life he walked out on you in the first place and besides it will be the baby that ends up getting hurt in the long run anyway...You made a very unselfish decision to not have a abortion and to give your baby life... Thank you for making a very adult choice.. Tell your parents if they don't already know they will be there to help and support you with what ever decision you decide to make...

Answer 4

First and Foremost, I think its pretty obvious that your ex-boyfriend is immature and he is not ready for a child. Your pretty young to have a child, and before I tell you what to do I think it's important that you know that sex is a responsibility........... Not just a pleasure. Okay, Now that I have made that statement I can move on. If you plan on keeping this baby then it is very important that he knows. If you do not think that you can talk to him personally and work it out like "adults" then I think its best that you talk to his parent or guardian about the situation. An adult that can help you and best of all they won't typical "***-hole". Remember, if you go to his parents, you have a better chance of having support even though in the beginning you may be fearful of the situation. Talking to him is just as equivalent to talking to a dumb bell. You don't want to have these problems later in the pregnancy or even worse after the baby is born. You are still considered to be an adolescent and as far as I am concerned so is your ex. Don't worry about the rumors or the other "Typical Bullshit" when you go back back to school. As long as you and him both have a mutual agreement about the situation then you should be fine.

Answer 5

Oh, brother.

Well, ultimately, this is your decision. Ideally, the guy is involved too, but ideally the guy should have been involved enough to buy condoms, so I'm not real concerned about his rights now.

The only thing to do is tell the truth. Maybe say you were thinking about abortion, and then decided against it. And there you go. Now what are you planning to do? I recommend adoption. You're too young to raise this baby and he sounds unstable. Work on finding a family now. They'll cover your medical expenses and take the baby home from the hospital. I really think this is the best thing, but like I said, it's ultimately your decision.

When you do tell him, why not have him come to your home (when someone else will be home-- they don't have to be in the same room). You don't want to take the chance that he could become violent.

Answer 6

I think alot of factors play a role in this situation. Do you want the baby? Can you take care of it financially and emmotionally, it is not all fun. If you decide to keep it, definetly get child support whether he wants to be part of the babys life or not. Way he sounds, he may not be the best influence as a father. Whatever you do, DO NOT have an abortion, there are good families all over that want to adopt babies. You need to ask yourself if you are ready for this much responsibility right now.. Goodluck...

Answer 7

Well...you have two options.

You could tell him that you meant you were going to, you had an appointment, and fully intended on doing it, but when it came time, you just couldn't. (a lie)

Or, you could tell him you had a pregnancy melt down, were on an emotional roller coaster, didn't know what to say, and wanted to placate him. (the truth)

Either way, you DO NOT owe him any kind of explanation. He's not pregnant, he's not going to give birth, and he's not going to have to make any kind of decisions that go along with it! He made his choice when he unzipped his pants, and until that baby is born (if you decide to keep it) that is the only decision he is involved in! After the baby is born, you both are on the same level. But anything that happens in between is completely and totally at your discretion.

I had my first daughter at 17. No, it wasn't a walk in the park, but it also didn't ruin my life. Now I'm 22, I have three children, I own a house, run my own business from home and am going back to school online for a degree in business. My husband (their father) is just finishing his degree and has several promising jobs lined up. We're so much better off than the statistics than they throw around because we just wouldn't give up.

Just keep your eye on the prize, hun, because of all the bad things that can happen in life, having a baby is way down there on the list.

Answer 8

I know its hard, but you'll both have to face facts that you're having the kid and if he starts to get abusive with you again. call the cops and get a restraining order. It's the only thing you can do to keep him away. Hang out with people instead of being a lone, just in case he decides to break that contract, in other words, if he comes closer than he's allowed too, get away from him to somewhere safe and call the cops. They'll come pick him up and he'll learn.
Whether he doesn't want you to have the baby or not, it's really up to you and no one is going to be able to make that decision for you. You shouldn't have lied to him in the first place, but now all you can do is right those wrongs. Don't let him push you around or anything of the sort. In any case of abuse do NOT be afraid to call the cops.

Answer 9

Sounds as if you just need to keep your distance from this guy until he acts more stable. He is the father so he does have a right to be apart of the babies life, though he does not have a right to be abusing you. I would act as if you were broken up and stop talking to him. When he confronts you on the pregnancy simply tell him that you are scared of him due to the way he is acting and you didn't know what else to tell him. Though at 14 weeks you should not be necessarily showing yet. If he continues this you need to do whats right to protect you and the baby. Call the police and have this documented!

Answer 10

its your body and your choice if he doesn't want it then let him be he will regret it latter you do whats right for you and the baby i know your young but if you have help from loved ones you will be fine good luck with everything and just tell him you did have an abortion stuff him some males don't know what its like to have an abortion i had one at 16 because i fell pg and my boyfriend didn't want one he was to young he said but we stayed together for 4 years after i had a baby to him at the age of 18 so i don't know why i had an abortion in the first place.

Answer 11

First of all your boyfriend is not ever going to be there for you, financially, emotionally or physically. If you think your overwhelmed a guy doesn't get a brain cell until they are in their 20's. (and I'm a guy).Thats just the way it is, so his point of view means very little.

It will effect you and those around you forever of you keep the baby. It shows that you are no where near ready for a child. And some said take the father to court; yes you will get millions out of a dumb 16 year old boy. Your on your own.

There are millions; literally millions; of heartbroken people in the U.S. that would love a baby; absolutely adore a baby because they can't have one for physical reasons. I think you should put it up for adoption. To put that huge responsibility on your friends and family is selfish and there is no way your baby will have a normal and solidified family life the way an adoptive family would.


AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD; THERE ARE SO MANY DISEASES OUT THERE AND TO GET PREGNANT BECAUSE OF NO PROTECTION IS JUST RIDICULOUS IN TODAYS WORLD; FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS DO NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX UNLESS YOUR MARRIED/STABLE FINANCIALLY, AND WANT TO HAVE A CHILD!

Most of all your not ready for this; talk to adults that love you; this is a mess that will effect the rest of your life. Good luck.