2007-08-09 17:05:10 · 13 answers · asked by playboy/playmate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You cannot force a parent to be a parent. You can force some financial responsibility through the courts in the form of child support, but thats about all you can do.
Even then, you can't make them keep a job and pay. My ex doesn't call or see the kids, even when we were living four blocks away. He has been to jail multiple times on failure to pay support warrants and still won't keep a job and pay support.
Bottom line is that you really cannot force a parent to actually be a parent if they do not want to make that sacrifice and give that much of themselves.
2007-08-09 17:15:04 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stepping onto the proverbial minefield please go easy on me : )
Firstly, you can't control another person so don't waste efforts trying. Can't guilt them, can't pull emotional, legal or psychological warfare on them.
Second, by responsibility do you mean...more money/support? More time with them? Better parenting?
At the end of the day - you must live your life as a single parent to the best of your ability. There are schedules in place for child support typically so try to stick to those and minimize the amount that goes to the fighting lawyers in your fight to impute a sense of "responsibility". If the parent wasn't responsible (mom and/or dad) before you aren't gonna impute anything on them now - especially after parading the end of your failed relationship and the craziness that ensued through the courts.. You stand alone in divorce. Your kids will get used to it. Stay on your side of the fence. And try to learn to overcome the communication blocks if possible with the ex so you can reasonably communicate with the other parent without slamming the phone down, etc.
Good luck - this all sucks beyond belief for everyone involved. To some of the other posters please stop bringing a howitzer to a BB gun fight. It just makes the lawyers richer and the kids and you more stressed out.
2007-08-09 17:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by Delay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea if you have to go to the family court and file child support on him and make him pay that way. Set up some type of visitation for the kids as well. If he doesn't want to see his children than the guilt will be on him not you. Good luck!
2007-08-09 17:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force anyone to take responsibility. You already know one of you needs to be the responsible parent and it's not your ex.
2007-08-09 17:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew.
First ex-husband always stops paying child support after screwing up my car so I can't work...........Tough to figure out why he'd want his kid to be poor.......Poverty would never make me want him back.
Second husband thinks since he's not with me and controlling the money, he shouldn't pay a dime for his kids...........
State child support is useless, try www.supportcollectors.com
2007-08-09 17:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question to you is - if he doesn't want anything to do with them, why would you subject the kids to that type of trauma? Being around someone that doesn't want them? They are better off with one parent that wants and loves them...
If you mean financially - that is what a lawyer, the courts & child support services is for.
2007-08-09 17:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you cannot...Sad to say but if he's not willing to man up to his responsibilities on his own, no one else can make him do it.
Sometimes, it is best that you leave it alone and raise the children without him but yet say good things about him to the children. When and if he does decide to be a part of their lives, welcome him and let the children decide if they want him to be a part of thier lives.
2007-08-09 17:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When getting the divorce you should have volunteered 50/50 joint custody and moved within the same school district.
You probably asked for custody and child support and expected him to take them off your hand every other week.
2007-08-09 17:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how far does he live from you? if he doesn't live far, then just drop them off with him for a few hours or the weekend. he needs to know that you're not the only one who should be taking care of the kids. unless he's a real dead-beat guy, then its best that the kids don't see their dad.
2007-08-09 17:11:52 · answer #9 · answered by love_me_or_hate_me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
battling this my self and I am taking him to childsupport.
Have four kids all his and we have been seperated three years and I have been the soul provider for our kids. I think its time that he pays a little money since he doesn't pay attention to any of them any more. Rack his A**!!!!
2007-08-09 17:21:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋