It snowed again and I saw a deer. there goes the mail truck............by day ten he's insane, he hate the snow shoots the deer and the mail truck buzzes by and he screams at it... Its from my childhood and would like to relay it to my kids.
2007-08-09 17:02:37 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Okay...if this is a poem, let's form it into a poem: (words in parenthesis are suggested changes)
Cabin Fever
"It snowed again (today) and
I saw a deer....
there goes the mail truck!......."
.....by day ten he's insane,
he hates the snow,
shoots the deer, and (as)
the mail truck buzzes by
(delete - and) he screams at it...
It's a little "mental", but I guess that's what you were aiming at. "Cabin Fever" is what they call the syndrome. The quotes at the beginning are necessary to show the difference between the object's voice and the narrator's voice that follows.
hope this helps
2007-08-13 16:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you on about? (not trying to be rude...)
But is that the poem?
Somewhere in the midst or that paragraph which didnt make sense, I actually see a really good story line...
Today it snowed,
Oh look, there goes the mail truck.
He however, hates the snow.
He is going insane...
The deer I saw, he didnt like,
He shot it, BANG.
He is screaming at the mail truck now,
I told you he was insane...
2007-08-10 00:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kira. The title I'd give it is:
"It's Snowing Outside My Window Today"
2007-08-12 11:17:42 · answer #3 · answered by Owl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋