[♥]What do yah think of this poem?

Question

*I'm 14
*I have BAD writer's block when a topic is thrown @ me.
*I hate poetry sometimes, especially when I have to write it.
*I had to do an exaggerated poem/elegy.
*I know it sucks, so you don't have to tell me LOL...just say what I should change.

HEAT:

It covers the atmosphere in haze.
Almost as scorching as a stove.
Sets the pavements and streets ablaze.
And roves furiously through the grove.

Melts the cars,
And roasts each tree.
Diffuses candy bars
And sunburns: third degree.

Melts ice in a flash
And dehydrates the leaves.
Burns the air to ash;
It's the intolerable heat.

=]

Answer 1

lol really good!!!

Answer 2

Hi! I write poetry too, and here are some helpful suggestions ( I hope) I love your poem overall, but here's what I would do to tweak it. In the first stanza, take out : ALMOST AS- just write, "scorching like a stove" and take out : AND ROVES- put "roving furiously through the grove." Those are the only things I would change. Remember, ditch the extraneous words, and get to the heart of the poem. Hope I helped. You have a lot of talent! I felt that heat! Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I think it is good...very good...makes me feel hot and like sitting on the curb and squishing my fingers in the melting tar....

Answer 4

its actually pretty good. dont put urself down bout ne thing. if u actually think this is bad then u must b a terrific poet, cuz this aint bad.
i dont really see ne thing u need to change.

Answer 5

I think it's great!! You should do a follow-up: "99% Humidity".

Answer 6

Actually I think you did a great job.

Answer 7

I like it a lot

Answer 8

I LOVE IT! =] Who would know you could write so much about heat?

Answer 9

good job

Answer 10

I think it's really good ;)

Answer 11

actually very goood...i hate writing poems too adn suck at them!