If you knew a person was cheating on their spouse, would you tell the spouse?

Question

Why or why not?

Answer 1

yes because i would want to be told.
the most hurtful thing is when others all know that your spouse is cheating on you while you're completely trusting and clueless.
when you eventually find out, you wonder why no one (who supposedly cares about you) told you!

Answer 2

Why would it matter how well you knew the person or not? People make decisions all the time - right or wrong. It is NOBODY's business what goes on in someone else's bedroom. They need to figure it out.

How do you know they don't have an open relationship? That's right, they never talked to you about it because it was NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

Same applies here.

Why would you approach the person being cheated on and not the person doing the cheating? It amazes me how many times people ask this question that the response is always - I'll tell the person being cheated on and very rarely do you hear that they will CONFRONT the cheater.

Why won't they confront the cheater? Because the cheater will probably tell them it is none of their darn business.

And sadly, I agree.

We meddle too much into other people's affairs. Would we want people to "offer" their opinion if you and your spouse had an argument or would we want someone telling us that our spouse cheated only to find out that they didn't that what the other person saw was not what they think they saw.

For example, if I see my best friend's husband kiss another woman and report it to her - "Ohhh, I saw your hubby kiss another woman - quick get a divorce." What does that make me? And if I find out the other woman was his sister - well then there is egg on my face isn't there. Just trying to help you two in your relationship.

Oh what's that? IT'S NONE OF MY DARN BUSINESS. And it is true. So true.

So NO, I wouldn't be telling anyone whether their spouse "cheated" or not. We are so quick to point the finger, do the damage and then walk away or laugh if it was a mistake on our part in accussing the alleged cheater.

Answer 3

If you are trully bothered that someone is cheating on their spouse, why dont you try talking to the cheatER, and see if you cant talk some sense into them, offer to help them find a counselor, or a pastor someone who can honestly help them, the non-cheating spouse could get very angry at you, and think you are causing problems, because their first instinct is "DENIAL", because no one wants to be cheated on, and if this person is your friend, then help them by helping the cheater..good luck

Answer 4

thats a hard question, if you tell, your in fear of possible losing the respect of your friend, but if you don't and your friend finds out you knew, thats a whole other can of worms. i would tell, not in the, ha ha, guess what i know way, but be straight with your friend, be honest thats all you can do as a friend. i would rather hurt my friend once than have them find out their spouse has been cheating on them for years, that pain is much worse. once a cheater always a cheater, it's never a one time thing.

Answer 5

Depends on how well I knew the other person.. my mom, my brother.. yeah, I'd tell them if I KNEW beyond all doubt that their spouse was cheating on them.... Someone that is a friend, well, it depends... again, if I KNEW beyond all doubt.. I'd probably tell them what I knew without making judgements.. "Hey, I don't want to tell you this, and am only telling you cause I'd want someone to tell me, I caught Jeremy and Amy together.. without a doubt... and I'm only telling you this because I'm afraid of what STD's he's bringing home to you... " But, if it was a coworker or close aquaintance, I'd probably just mind my own business.

Of course, the main question I'd ask myself ... would I want someone to tell me? And undeniably, that would be yes... but, have heard it ruins your friendship with the person you tell.

Answer 6

Chances are the cheated on spouse already knows. To inform him or her is to make "open" the fact, and the spouse only may have wished that the cheating is at least unknown to others....by telling, you destroy that illusion. Bottom line? I wouldn't mention it.

Answer 7

It would depend on how close to that person I was and how long I knew. I might take the wimpy way out, and send a letter or photo. I would hate to be caught in the middle, or have that friend say the breakdown of the marriage was my fault for spilling the beans, you know how people sometimes don't think clearly when they are in that kind of pain.

Answer 8

Depends on my relationship with the spouse. I would tell my best friend in a heart beat, right after I kicked the shi* out of him. But if it were someone that I am not that close with, I would probably try to stay out of their private business.

Answer 9

I would not tell the person who is being cheated on because it is none of my business. I stay out of everyone's business and that is what I want everyone to do to me. I do not like trouble makers and I will not cause anyone trouble. If a person is cheating most times they end up getting caught.

Answer 10

Unless the one being cheated on was a very close friend of mine, I would probably say, "Its none of my business. The spouse will find out soon enough".