We have been living together for almost three years. I am almost 8 months pregnant. He wants me to place the child for adoption but because I am not willing he says we just cant be together (he thinks he will never get is life "together", and is currently working as a waiter with no real goals or ambitions) we are still living together currently, though I am moving out and into my parents house within the next few weeks (even though the break up wasnt really my choice). He has made no plans for moving out, or finding someone to move in although there is clearly a time contraint here, its almost as if he's in denial. Our friends dont even really believe it could be true, knowing both of us so well. We still hug, and kiss and say I love you. He does nice things (breakfast in bed this morning) its clear we still care for one another and are breaking up because of baby. He is gone for the weekend, and I cant stop thinking about him....this is such an awkward situation, how do I deal?
2007-08-09 16:13:37 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
youre correct, it was clearly an unplanned pregnancy. Shoulda coulda woulda at this point really. I can only wish that we had taken more careful precautions to prevent an unplanned pregnancy but I have been blessed and I am ready, willing and excited about the baby. Her future in my life is not a question, I didn't mean to portray it as such. This question was really more about dealing with the two of us going through a separation while still attached to one another. It has nothing to do with what to do about the baby
2007-08-09 16:40:43 · update #1
Right now you need to put yourself and your baby first. Move out get yourself settled, you don't have to cut off contact with him but look after yourself. Tell him what you want to happen and that its up to him what he wants to do. You cant force him to be with you. He will either step up to the plate and take care of you and the baby or (SORRY) he will not. Sometimes in a bad situation we have to step back and just let things run their course. Just be thankful you will soon be blessed with a beautiful baby.
2007-08-09 16:31:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea this is obvious that it was an unplanned pregnancy. I think if someone isn't ready to be a father why wasn't steps taken to prevent the pregnancy. You have to realize that a baby is a very innocent and fragile human being and you have to be careful what type of atmosphere you bring the little one into. My question is did it take him 8 months to know he didn't want to be a father, or was you hoping he would change his mind after the baby was here? You are obviously good to sleep with and OK to be around but not good enough to have a baby with. You have some tough decisions to make and you need to start thinking about the future of the little one. I think it is very sad on his part because this is his seed that he planted in you, and you are going to have to be the better person in this situation. Good luck!
2007-08-09 23:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is his reasoning for not being with you anymore besides not being able to get his life together? He needs a reality check because its really late to be thinking about just him right now. There's a baby coming real soon and he needs to be a MAN and father for the baby. Be responsible for his actions.
I would advise you just to give him some time, it could be that reality just hit him since you're 8 months pregnant and the baby will be here any day. If by the time you have your baby and he still doesn't want to be together anymore, then its probably for the best because you don't want someone in your life who doesn't want to be with you. I know its hard because you love him so much, but allow him the time that he needs and take care of yourself for the baby.
2007-08-09 23:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by love_me_or_hate_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that you move out soon, as this man is very immature and sounds like he isn't going anywhere. The part he doesn't get is that "when you make a child, you don't get to be the child anymore. " Too bad you didn't get this straight before the baby. It is time to grow up now and he has run out of time. If he really loved you, he would be willing to step up and be a husband and a father. since he is not, you are better off without an "adult child " . Since your newborn is going to have to look to you, as both Mom and Dad you will need to give her, your full attention.
2007-08-10 00:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know how to handle this situation. If he wants to give baby up or adoption, then he clearly wants nothing to do with having a child and should have done something to prevent it. If he knows that he is not going to be a good father, then he needs to be away from baby. Child deserves loving parents that want him/her and want a good lfe for him/her
Good Luck as this is a very hard situation to be in. You may need to check into some counsling for yourself.
2007-08-09 23:24:46 · answer #5 · answered by {Lisa} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need this idiot in your life. Right now, concentrate on that precious baby and move back home with your parents. Go back to school-- finish college and move on. You'll find a true man one day and look back and wonder why you were ever with that loser. Baby is number 1-- you need to be there for baby. Pay back is seven fold for those who do wrong-- move on and make baby #1.
2007-08-10 00:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The baby is more important than he is. Obviously he is immature and needs to grow up and be a man and take care of his responsibilty.
2007-08-09 23:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by amaybride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure you are going to move out go ahead and do it because you do not need to be stressed out right now.
2007-08-09 23:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he just nearvous because the baby will be here soon...give him some space he'll come around. He's just having some gitters...no biggy
2007-08-09 23:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK STOP SENDING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS ITS GETTING ON MY NERV. I DONT CARE IF U SEND ME BUTT DONT SEND LIKE 10 A DAY OK GOT IT
2007-08-10 12:31:44 · answer #10 · answered by raylinh m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋