Was I ever really a coward?

Question

(I say YES BUT, cowards can change too...right?)

When were you ever a coward?


With a needle in one hand
My stand
No doubt
A coward

With the needle in
Truely I show
Who I am
A coward

A painless trip
No baggage
Fully raw
A coward

Thoughts of termoil
Too much to think of
Even the littlest
The most minor things

(should I shave first?)
(do dishes?)
(make sure the kids made it too school?)
(shower? got to town? make lunch?)

The list is never ending
A sharp stick
Coward

Like pulling the plunger
to a busy day
A stiff drink would'nt do
(but, many help)

I hate long trips
(just a few for the nerves)
or for a coward

(Yawn) It's not bad
this trip
When the beat of your heart
makes you tired
Relax now coward

Just sleep

Double 06, this was just one of those I wrote many years ago without rhyme hon, kind of like a "thought" poem rather than rythem *^_^*

All the Best, Shad @)~>~

Answer 1

Suicide by overdose.

True, it is tragic, but it isn't a way out. What it is is death. Doesn't make you a coward, doesn't make living heroic. It's death, which eventually every one of us will experience.

Looking for a way out is natural and easy; looking for a reason to go on takes imagination and hope. For the future is unknown. But death is death.





g-day!

Answer 2

Well, I'd change some of the line breaks, and I'd probably replace "littlest" with "smallest". It's a little drawn out...I think if you did some serious consolidation and trimmed the heck out of it, you'd get a more reactive poem. I think you dwell too much on the repetition of "coward"...you might be better served to state it once up front and then "allude" to it, rather than continue to say it to remind us. This poem could probably be shortened to a dozen lines and say as much, if not more, than it does right now. Don't focus too much on telling, don't chop it up too much either...let your lines have more than two or three beats...unless there is a specific reason to be short...then the shortness becomes an impact in and of itself.

keep editing...and keep writing

Answer 3

Errors in spelling and stuff like that but what I'm interested in is the message. I want to know if I got it right and maybe another poster can help.

The coward was/is a junkie, right? who will drink, too, but prefers the other. It's so "relax"-ing, huh? So the coward can "Just sleep." Naturally cowards don't get overly excited about kids and work and shaving and all that. But a true coward couldn't stand the pain and fear of life, either, so she/he'd get toasted on something or other. Right?

I guess we all have our moments. But if I've got your poem right and you're posting it here for some REAson...I'll answer you. If you haven't yet, please cut it out, get clean, and write money-making horror books or something to launder the fear. Take care of biz,ok?

Answer 4

Shad,
You have outlined a list a person does
coward or not. I like the part that says should I
shave, dishes,
I see there were children involved here
To me, a coward is a (human being like you and me
and everyone else.
A person can be coward and it may last and it may not
depending on how bad they want to stop.

Answer 5

of course! everyone is a coward
about some things. Everyone lies.
the lies are to escape some fear.
Every lie a confession
of some form of cowardice.
some unsure part of who
I am expressing

It is all as a mirror
To look in the others face and see
my own nakedness
my madness, my preference for
self supervision. I know the game
of life. it is a game. it is play.

To be the coward is only one
of the roles. There are many
for each of us
lies about different
kinds of life events

The past cone is so much more
vast than the future cone can be.
The most creative lies
can be constructed in the past.

the moment rushes by
as if air in a venturi.
it is only now
as long as I stay awake to it.
It is the most valued thing
I possess.

It is, by grace,
the present.

Answer 6

I get the poem and purpose though I don't necessarily agree with the moral that druggies are cowards. I think it's more complex than that. Would be better if the refrain was escape highlighted by preceding descriptions of the predicament.

Answer 7

the main idea is good and the poem has great context but maybe you could make it flow more it just doesnt come easily other wise its a good effort. Not at all bad just doesnt flow that well. Keep Writting!

Answer 8

Knowing your an "empath", I think this is great! I've known drug addicts and alcoholics, and their turmoil (inner) must be like you describe! Sad, isn't it? Don't you hope someone in this position reads this and cries, realizing their mistake? You never know if you were meant to write this and may help at least one lost soul. Have a good day!

Answer 9

so i assume its som kind of songs, rap?? erm u nid a gd singer,rapper

Answer 10

Lighten up, sweetie. I know there is happier stuff in you..