I have been with my husband for 12 years, I will be 32.. He is my first love. Everything has been great until I found 6 months ago that he slept with a girl, the same week that we had our first child. That was the reason why he left me in the hospital the next day pretending that he went to take some course. I forgave him, because I do love him. We try to work things out. I feel now that he never felt sorry. Lately, he hanged up on me all the times, calling me stupid. He told me that if I do not pick up the phone, he will start talking to her again. Why is he so mean and evil? All I have done, is loving me. I know that I deserve better, I can find someone who can appreciate my love and treat me well. If I am not happy, my baby won't. I have so much love for him, that it is hard for me to move on, but I know that I have to, I want respect, attention. Why not? I know that I better cry for one year, than be miserable my whole life. How can I be strong, and protect myself from being hurt?
2007-08-09
14:22:46
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14 answers
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asked by
renaissance
1
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
RUN. don't walk away from this loser. Everyone deserves better than this clown.
2007-08-09 14:26:18
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answer #1
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answered by kattykattykat 3
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First off, he is WRONG!! Not only did he commit adultery, but he is also holding this girl over your head by saying if you don't pick up the phone, he will start talking to her again. I'm sorry, but you need to kick him to the curb. I understand that you love him, but if he had any love for you, he would not be cheating on you and saying that he is going to talk to the girl he cheated with.
Your hubby doesn't sound like he values you, your child, your love or your marriage. You said it when you said you deserve better!!! You do. Your child does.
I know you love him, but love needs to be respected and returned. Why should you be the only one trying to hold this marriage together?? You deserve to be with someone who loves you, loves your child and wants to be with YOU!!!
If you two are going to stay together, there needs to be a lot of changes and couples therapy.
I wish you the best, but do what is best for yourself and your child...regardless of the pain and hurt if will bring you.
2007-08-09 21:29:46
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answer #2
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answered by endo_chic 5
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I'm so sorry to hear all that.
This guy is probably cheating on you even now. Please don't be having sex with him until he gets an STD test that includes a herpes test (which you'll have to ask for).
I would suggest for now you get yourself in some counseling. Call around tomorrow and see about cost/etc. Get some information and make a decision on who you'll see. Get into counseling even short-term will help. Let him do whatever he wants and don't bug him. Work on yourself and take care of your baby.
Eventually, you might talk him into going to therapy with you. It's worth a shot since y'all have a child. You need to give it every effort so that when/if you divorce him, you'll know you gave it your all. I think this will end in divorce though. Sorry.
2007-08-09 21:30:28
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answer #3
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answered by philosophy 4
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Be bold. Your husband is a cheat. He has no regard for the mother of his child and doesn't deserve the love of a good woman. You looked in the wrong place to find love. Raise your standards. Who does he think he is that he can abuse you. Maybe he just isn't into being a dad.
2007-08-09 21:28:58
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answer #4
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answered by The Rabbi 5
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That sucks! First I'm very sorry, If I were you I would leave now. It's better to be without him than with him. If he talks to you like crap and hangs up on you and threatens to talk to that female again than leave him! Thats right if you are not happy the baby won't be either. If he was my husband and threaten to talk to another female I would tell him to go ahead and pack my stuff. No one knows what they have until its gone.
2007-08-09 21:31:11
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answer #5
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answered by ღStarzzღ 4
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as sad as it for your baby i think you will know what to do in your heart. having a baby is supposed to bring the two of you closer. it is not the time to be going off having affairs. i think as hard as it is for you to hear you know by what he did to you at that particular time he does not really care about you or the baby. may you should just consider seperation for a while just to teach him a lesson. this will give you a chance to get your head around things to. however you should be aware that it can back fire on you if you decide that you want to give it another chance he may have moved on and by seperating it has given him a taste of extra freedom. be strong and best of luck.
2007-08-09 21:35:39
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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sounds like hes trying to get you to leave him so he wont feel so bad. hes messing around or going to be not to long from now. the only reason to say those things is to hurt you and make you mad.. and yes you should be pissed if there is no call for it.i would ask him if he wants to leave or seperate and see what he says and take it from there.. if he dont want to do that then i would tell him he needs to stop treating you like your second class or below him. lay it all out there and see what happens.. no need to put up with that kinda crap. he will either scare and stop doing that or he will leave.. you will know then what you need to do. good luck
2007-08-09 21:34:26
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answer #7
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answered by Kat 5
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Time to go and get a lawyer, sorry to tell you that. I'm going through a divorce after 30 years, it's not fun, but worth it the pain. I'll be happy to talk to you if you need someone to talk to, email me if you want.
2007-08-09 22:02:52
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answer #8
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answered by kim t 7
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Leave this douche. Honestly. He has no idea how to respect women if he treats you this way. If you don't move on, things will only get worse because he knows he can get away with it. You don't deserve his emotional abuse. Do better for yourself and your baby.
2007-08-09 21:31:00
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answer #9
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answered by Kiba V 2
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its time for him to shape up or you leave him... he should be grateful you have forgiven him in the first place. he slept with another woman while you were going to give birth to his CHILD. he thinks that because you forgave him he can do it again and you will forgive him.... you need to let him know the next time you wont be so forgiving.
2007-08-09 21:27:45
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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If you are feeling hurt and you feel unappreciated you should leave him...i don't think your relationship is worth it if you are feeling like that..And you can be strong by protecting your self and your baby..Leave him before you or your baby gets hurt...
2007-08-09 21:30:07
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answer #11
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answered by ☻Smile..it does you wonders. ☻ 3
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