My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year I love her very much. before I met her for about 2 years she had an affair with a Married Man he moved away about 3 months before we started dating ......she told me about this affair when we first go together I expressed my extreme disinterest for it. but it was in her past or so I thought ..... a couple months ago I found out she had been talking to him online and the phone on a regular basis. naturally I had a problem with this but she seems to think it is acceptable for her to carry on a friendship with this man who is still married( His wife has no idea of anything) . after we talked she has said she won't talk to him I believe that she does not talk to him, of course she is upset with me because I had a problem with their friendship. my concern is that she seems to think it is acceptable to have an affair with a married man and/or just be friends with him. How do I know it won't happen to me?
Thanks
2007-08-09 13:38:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HELLO? It already has happened and IS happening to you! Wake up! She's a homewrecker and a potential slut..get rid of her!
2007-08-09 13:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
The simple answer is...
You don't know that it won't happen again.
She needs to cut all ties with this guy. You both need to sit down and talk this through - not yell, talk.
She needs to commit to you and your relationship and that means there is no room for this other guy (married or single).
It sounds like you are prepared to give her a chance here and thats pretty amazing, you are a very kind and forgiving guy. If she loves you she will let him go.
It amazes me that there are so many perfect people on here saying things like "dump her" and "...once a cheater always a cheater" - but just remember no one is perfect and we all make mistakes.
If you really love her and want to give her a 2nd chance, then she is very blessed to have a guy like you. But she has to realise this and make a some changes.
2007-08-09 13:48:50 · answer #2 · answered by mareer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can kind of understand them being friends. BUT she should be focusing most of her attention on you. Has she though about just not talking to him anymore? She has you in her life why does she need him? I was in a similar situation, rather than staying friends or talking to the guy I just let it go. He is married, someone I would never be able to be with, so why dwell on it?? I didn't know he was married until after our second date (go figure). He also lives in another state. Now my husband deserves my love and attention, because that's what he gives to me. There isn't room for any other man in my life besides him and my family. For you guys to get serious and stay committed she should try to talk to him less I think. Relationships needs honesty and trust to hold them together.
2007-08-09 13:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by Jen H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you don't know until you take the risk.
Are you at a higher risk because she is still carrying on a relationship with this married man and doesn't see anything wrong with it, yes !!!
She doesn't see anything wrong with it because she doesn't "want" to see anything wrong with it.
I'll bet if the tables were turned, and it was you seeing a married woman, I'll bet she would feel differently about it.
Tell her if she truly feels it's not wrong to have a friendship with this man, then why hide it from his wife?
If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing ;)
If you can't tell your spouse about your behavior, then it's wrong.
And like you said how do you know it's not going to happen to you?
2007-08-09 13:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a bunch of judgemental bi**hes on here. People DO have the capacity to change. If she stopped communicating with him at your request it seems to me that she cares about your feelings. All you can do is trust her. If you can't do that you should move on.
BTW I feel that the married man who f**ked her is the "homewrecker". He's the one who had a spouse, not her.
How can a single person be the cheater in that situation??
2007-08-09 14:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by jade j 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My ex-wife also had an affair w/a married man before we were married. She told me all about it and said it was over. His wife died and they secretly got back together again after 10 yrs when she left me.
Yes, you should be very concerned.
2007-08-09 13:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's wrong, and she knows she's wrong. She's playing with fire by keeping in contact with him and it will just lead to another flare-up of the affair they had. You are right to "have a problem with this" because it's JUST PLAIN WRONG. She can "defend" their "friendship" all she wants to, and it's STILL Just Plain Wrong. And if she's done it once, she might do it again, so you have NO real guarantee it won't happen to you if you continue with your romance with her. I'm sorry, I know I sound cold-hearted and cruel, but, believe me....I'm right. Good luck to you, whichever way you choose.
2007-08-09 13:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think you shouldn't waste your time on her because if she doesn't care this man is married she probably doesn't care that she is in a relationship with you either and she's probably trying to hook up with him again. You deserve better, like a woman who respects herself. It's like they say, you can't turn a whore into a housewife.
2007-08-09 13:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by sassy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is a saying by the great author and poet Maya Angelou "When someone shows who they are, believe them the first time.". In other words, don't wait for this woman to prove to you that she lacks moral character any more than she already has. Run! Good luck.
2007-08-09 13:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by godiva 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
1
2017-02-28 03:31:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋