2007-08-09 13:07:59 · 26 answers · asked by Nice isn't it 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whether or not he's meeting anyone in person, he is being unfaithful, which merits immediate action on your part. You need to be understanding and willing to listen-- if you want to keep the relationship (and especially if children are involved). Keep in mind that few folks cheat in a vacuum, the partner is always a part of the equation in some way--- there may be loss of affection, bitter fighting, a partner whose daily habits are disgusting, etc., etc.
Things to do:
*** The first step is to confront the "cheating" behavior- he needs to know that the behavior is hurtful to you and damages trust.
*** Second, you have to agree to be accountable for your part (if there is one) and that both of you will create a safe and open environment by letting their partner know where they are. You must replace deception with honesty.
*** Thirdly, because trust has been violated, he needs to disclose everything (and he may if it's safe)... but if he refuses, then the problem may be larger than you imagined. . The only way to tear down the wall of deception is to have an open window - no secrets. He should be made to understand that sharing information is one way to rebuild intimacy.
*** Fourth, figure out where vulnerabilities are in your relationship and begin to work on them.
*** Fifth, discuss what being faithful and committed in your marriage means to you.
Finally, understand that this is a very difficult process and you may need to seek the help of a professional to work through your issues. Threats to leave only escalates the problem 90% of the time, so go slow and be patient.
Finally, dumping your spouse seems like an easy solution, as suggested by >90% of those here, but this doesn't allow you to see your part in this behavior. Not seeing your part also means that you may repeat the behavior, whatever it was, in your next relationship (since the blame was directed on your partner). Many a couple has resolved the issues after an affair and had a fantastic, much better/richer and more meaningful marriage, once the underlying issue was resolved.
Good luck!
2007-08-09 23:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something missing in your relationship that is making this person try to date others...Go to the source and ask why! Then try and fix the relationship..If you think it's worth fixing! Good Luck!
2007-08-09 13:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by queenbezzzzs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your "other half" as in the person supposedly in a committed relationship with you? I'd realize I deserve better and that he is clearly not the guy for me if he's willing to disrespect me and our relationship that way. He knows he's putting your relationship on the line and he is willing to do it anyway. Find someone worth your time. Good luck!
2007-08-09 13:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My friend just went through this and I think if they can't be honest to the other person then its over. We moved her to our place and found out that most not all men chat with girls or boys under 17 and do not care if they are
2007-08-09 13:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ela J Pete 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If i found out that my other half was on line trying to date other people and if i had proof show it to her and move on. there is no reason to contiue this relationship if she wants to date other people besides you. Good Luck
2007-08-09 13:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I did have this happen. My now EX husband was meeting women online for sex. Needless to say, His rear end met the end of my foot. If this is happening to you; GET RID OF HIM. It was the best decision I ever made. It is a sad person who feels the need to do this.
2007-08-09 13:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd say. . . "I don't want to be one of the many, but the ONLY one. If that's not the way you roll, then I'm rolling out of here. Enjoy your life."
You deserve to be happy, to know who you are dealing with, and you deserve the honest truth. If that's not whay you're getting, then move on. It's harsh, it's hard, but you need to take care of you! If you don't take care of yourself and respect yourself, no one else will.
2007-08-09 13:37:21 · answer #7 · answered by thehiddenrabbit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Our marriage would be on the line.
If he hadn't gone on a date yet....we'd have to go to counseling. No counseling no marriage.
If he had gone on a date already....we'd be finished.
2007-08-09 13:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
try to stay with your half and let go of the other...
2007-08-09 13:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by Frankie H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He'd be out the door, and I'd be whole again.
2007-08-09 14:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋