Would it work to use sex as a reward for my husband not to drink?

Question

Alcohol. I was just thinking, He's a man, he likes sex, He's an alcoholic but maybe I can get him not to drink every night, I can give him a blo job and sex. Instead of drinking have sex with his wife. Do you think it would work?

Answer 1

no i don't think it would work. he needs to quit drinking for himself. not for you, not for sex, just because he wants to and is ready to. if all it took was sex then i don't think we would have drug addicts or alcoholics anywhere in the world. encourage him to attend alcoholics anonymous and there is also alanon for you to help you cope with his drinking.

Answer 2

I've never seen the benefit of using sex with your spouse as a reward or punishment. Sex should always be something without any strings attached. Once you start using it to get things your way, it strays from being a blessed wonderful gift between 2 partners.

Have you expressed these concerns logically to your husband? From what I understand, men don't do the emotional side of things. When my husband took up cloves, I sent him pages of studies that show the negative effects of a constant clove smoker (bleeding of the lungs and such), you can bet those aren't on the menu.

The biggest thing I would stress to you is that by you pushing and nagging and witholding/granting favors, you are only prolonging his need. Try to get a friend, or other family member to speak with him on this. He may not be open to hearing it from you...

The fact is, alcoholism is stemmed from things deeper than a casual desire to drink. Get him some help...AA is amazing...just get him some help.

Answer 3

People with addictive personalities crave things that change their normal state of mind. Sex, is one of them. You could be fueling a sex addict. Now, if you're able to quench his "thirst" 1.) Do you have a sister?
2.) Do you have the time?
Have you thought, rather than trying to "self medicate" him, you might want to get him some professional help? Alcohol decreases a man's sexual ability. In the mean time, maybe you two could find things to do together that don't involve sex and drinking that will help your marriage.

Answer 4

Nope--it is a silly temporary fix to a problem that is a health issue--drinking is a sure killer---he should want to stop drinking because he loves you and respects what you two should have in a marriage. He is not being a mature, clear thinking man--he is drinking for a reason only he knows--communicate clearly that you would like to help him and he should listen and agree to help himself with all this stuff. Good luck

Answer 5

I can tell you that I knew of a person who had that problem....Nothing will trade his addiction for alcohol....not even if you are a great wife in bed....
Drive him to AA, don't have alcohol in the house, and make sure he has some more choices to drink in the house, but not alcohol....make sure if you go to other friends houses without alcohol in plain view for him to have....reduce the temptation, and he will love you even more for doing this for him....but also, talk to the AA people about your hubby...they will have a few more suggestions...

Answer 6

I would say no. Sex shouldn't be used as reinforcement for behavior like that. If his habit is serious (think falling down drunk every night and is a threat when he is drunk), you may need to sit down and talk and suggest (force if you're in this marriage for the long haul) therapy and rehab. I have several family members that have succeed and failed. It depends on your committment and his committment. If you see that he won't change then I guess you have to figure out where to go from there. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Me being a man who was an alcoholic I would have loved this as a prize for not drinking.although this is good you are going to have to make it interesting maybe giving it to him soon as he walks in the door and also showing up to his job and giving him a hand at break or lunch if you know what i mean.

Answer 8

IT might work initially - but thats not the right way to approach the problem - if he is an alcoholic - he'll resist it initially (to get sex) but will start drinking behind ur back then!
the right way would be to talk to him and push him to get help!

Answer 9

It is for his own good. Do it, but he doesn't care about not getting none from you...YOU better hire a PI cause he is getting some from someone else. If he does protest state your reasons for doing it...
*ex. you love him and care about him and wanna see him live long,....it's not a good fatherly image for the kids
if you decide to go trough with it and he is still drinking just tease the s*** out of him....that should make him stop.
you should do it because alcoholism ain't a joke...=)

Answer 10

no....even if he does stop drinking because of that, he'll just get addicted to sex, and as much as you love him i don't think you'll handle a man addicted in that area of love

Try using more emotional techniques...since physical things make him addicted to a different thing, even if it isn't as bad.

...like tell him something along the lines of "don't you realize you could die from being an alcoholic? don't you realize that you're just not the same after you drink....and i'm not loving the same man anymore?"

...idk
but
good luck

Answer 11

No, that won't work. Alcoholism is an addiction and an illness, and if he refuses treatment for it, no matter what you do for him--or to him--he's still going to drink. He needs Al-Anon, and you need to go to Alcanon, which teaches families and loved ones how to live with and deal with this problem. He has to want to clean up for himself, first and foremost.