Am I really a deadbeat?

Question

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to end our relationship. I never wanted to be a father. My daughter is 3 years old and I've never seen or spoken to her. I do realize I have a financial responsibility, so I pay child support without any problems. She could look me up when she's older if she wants, but right now I'd rather have nothing to do with the situation. Is it fair that some people call me a deadbeat?

Answer 1

To me a dead beat father is someone who does everything to get out of being a father in all ways, most deadbeats don't even want to work and if they do, they run from child support, So the real question to me always has to be what is best for the child in her life not others. if you feel you are doing what is best for the child but still continue to help with your financial obligation, then you are not a dead beat.

Answer 2

You must not have loved your ex i mean to throw her and your daughter away like they are nothing just so you can live your life how far is that you helped make that child you should help raise her so f**king what if you pay support that child no has to go through life without have her dad I'm guessing you didn't grow up not having a dad or mom it hurts your f**king that child's brain up big time explain that to her when she gets older that you weren't there cause you had other plans see where that gets you to me without a doubt your a deadbeat maybe not it the definition of the word but you are and ya its fair

Answer 3

Well, that's a tough one.
The fact that you left your girlfriend to deal was def. not the best thing in the world to do. I mean, it took both of you to make the baby. On the other hand, at least you are helping your ex and daughter out financially, that's a positive.

I have a feeling that when you grow up a little more you may regret not having a relationship with your daughter. And if you leave it up to her, she may decide to never look you up, and then both of you will be missing out on that special relationship btw. dad and daughter.

So to answer your question, yes and no it's not fair that people call you a deadbeat. But you have to what's best for you, just remember that you do have a kid out there that would appreciate you doing what's best for her too

Answer 4

Wow. i think of you ignored the mark. Deadbeat parents are people who do no longer financially help their little ones. Abortion has no longer something to do with being a deadbeat. Abortion happens for many motives and albeit, that is between the girl and God - no longer YOU! Giving delivery to a baby would not make you a reliable make certain, even though it does require you to preserve the youngster you have delivered into the international and not circulate away it as much as something human beings. you comprehend what? till you're a woman with an unplanned being pregnant and would desire to make the concepts concerning your existence and the existence of yet another, i do no longer supply a rattling approximately what your opinion is on abortion. in case you have under no circumstances been there, how dare you tell me what i will and can't do with my own physique!

Answer 5

yes it is fair they call you a dead beat . put your self in your daughters spot . would you want something to do with a " jerk" knowing he was never there to see u grow up? hello.. wake up you may not be ready to be a dad but GUESS what you ARE one !! you should of thought of that before you were having sex . if you have sex the possibility is there that you will become a dad because there is nothing out there that is 100% effective. you should be be spending the weekends with her along with paying support there is so much more to raising a child and BEING RESPONSIBLE than just paying a little bit of money every week! she is not a car , house etc... she is a human being and you need to step up and be a real dad to her . have you ever thought that in a few years she may ask the question what did i do that he don't like me ? what is wrong with me that he don't love me ? are those questions you are ready to answer in the future ?? maybe you should think about it in a little different way. how would u have felt if you dad or mom just left you? not a great feeling huh?
just step up and be the best dad possible and you may surprise yourself it really isn't that hard to do. love comes really easily to a child especially if they are yours !!!

Answer 6

Yes it is fair to call you a deadbeat. Your daughter deserves to know who her father is. Your money is not the only thing she needs. She needs your love.

Do you ever think about how cute she is, or does she look like you when you were a child? What her voice sounds like or does she smile while she is sleeping?

You said you never wanted to be a father, Do you think she wanted to be born without someone to call Daddy?

You shouldn't have been so irresponsible if you didn't want to be a daddy.

Answer 7

You are taking care of her financially, but a daughter needs her father in her life. I'm sure when she gets older. You don't want her to come across a man that will do to her, what you did to her mother. You have to step back & look @ what happen with her mother & you. The money is fine for now, but the presents of you being a part of her life right now. Weather it's phone call to just to say hi, a trip to the park ect... Will last her a life time. She didn't ask to be your daughter, so why should she have to later on in life seek you out?

Answer 8

You are a deadbeat Dad. If you didn't want a child you should have thought about that before having sex. Do you realize what you are taking from this little girl? Her father should be one of the most important people in her life. and I think you are a total JERK

Answer 9

By definition, a deadbeat is someone who refuses to take on financial responsibility. You do, so you are not a deadbeat. However ... please recognize what your distance is doing to your daughter. What are you teaching her about men and relationships? (basically, that men are good only for money, they can never be counted on when you need them, and men are immature, self-centered and uncaring). You may not have ever seen or heard from her, but that doesn't discount the fact that every child, male or female, desperately needs both a mother and a father.

Answer 10

No, if you pay child support you are not a "deadbeat", you are a absentee father. I do not know why the child would ever want to know you "later in life" like if you need a kidney or something.


Kudos for paying child support, that is more than some men do.


Ladies: Let this be a lesson to you, *you* might want to be a mommy, but if you are not married, and do not plan a pregnancy, you are screwing your own child over, hope that motherhood was worth it. Take responsibility, take the pill, get your tubes tied, be a grown-up.