Im 11 weeks preg and now dad doesnt know?!?

Question

Im 11 weeks so far and everything was going well util now, I already have a little girl and me and the dad wanted to have them close together and be done with it, but dad is now having second thoughts about it, weather Im the right lady to be having his baby weather we well last or weather I can cope, worst part is I his FIRST FIRSt really girlfriend, like we live together (you get the picture).
Its getting hard for me now becuase I know if he doesnt what it, its going to get hard for me to get rid of the baby ( I DONT WHAT TO BECUASE IT IS A HUMAN AND ITS NOT FAIR TO GET RID OF IT WHEN IT CANT HVE A SAY) but I have my little girl to think about and I couldnt do it again by myself. .
He said well tlak to night about it and all this other stuff but I know if he doesnt what this and still whats me Truthly Im so Lost!!!
Does anyone have anything they can say that might make me think a bit more and not feel like this!

I forgot to add that he isnt the father to my little girl!!!

Oh and we did plainto try for anther before we went to bed.

I WHAT TO SAY THANKS TO ALL FOR WHAT I HAVE JUST READ! SOME OF THEM MADE ME CRY BECAUSE MOST OF WHAT PEOPLE SAID IS HOW I FEEL I WANT THIS BABY FOR ME AND MY DAUGHTER AND IM GOING TO BE THE BEST MUM I CAN TO BOTH MY KIDS WITH OR WITH OUT THE DAD! THANK YOU TO ALL!

Answer 1

Another good reason to get married first.
It's poor timing on his part to be questioning whether you are the right lady, whether you will "last."
YOU need to think long and hard if you want to be with a guy-not a man by any stretch-who won't marry you, who gets you pregnant twice and THEN wants out, who treats you like *&^ when he should be on your side against the whole world, proud of his wife and kids and willing to be a man!
Look up "poor choices" in the dictionary. That is what this is a product of.
Why in the world would you have a child with someone who doesn't love you enough to marry you? Why in the world would you raise a child with a guy who may or may not be there much longer--if he panics and runs off-where are you and an innocent child?
I say, kick his sorry irresposnible butt to the curb. Tell him to grow a set of nerves and come back to help raise his daughter when he is an adult. Meanwhile, give him a PO box to mail the child support check to. Throw his butt in jail if he misses one payment.
Then go get an abortion, (let him pay for that, too) so you will have no more ties with this guy than you already have, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO-with or without him.
OR have your baby- and sock him for 2 child supports.
Next time, WAIT until someone LOVES YOU and YOU KNOW IT. You know he's not going anywhere, because he is nuts about you.
Even if it takes you 10 years to find the right guy-don't settle for what sorry state you have now.
Don't be a weinie, fight for your daughter.Write me if you want. I hope I can help you.

Answer 2

All people have second thoughts about things that occur in their lives. I have a friend who is raising 5 kids by herself and works full time. No matter how he feels don't let it effect what you feel. You have the right to keep your baby if you want to with or without him being there for you. Its probably giving him an overwhelming feeling because he's thinking wow I am going to have two babies. He will be ok just talk to him with you two working together two kids aren't that much to handle. I am 21 my boyfriend is 20 we been together since we were 12 and 13. I had my first daughter at 18 my second daughter at 19 and my third daughter is being born next friday by c-section. You guys need to just listen to each other and try and understand how each of you are feeling.

Answer 3

Sounds like he's immature and has some growing up to do. If he still doesn't want to know after you tell him, it's his loss: physically/emotionally AND financially. You sound like a good mother and the new baby deserves that. Everything always works out for the best and he shouldn't be using a baby as an excuse for a refusal to grow up.

He needs to evaluate his feelings, especially when he's saying, "whether you're the right lady to be having his baby, whether you will last or whether you can cope." Of course you can cope, and you certainly don't need someone around that doesn't think highly enough of you to think so either.

He's the one that needs to do the talking (and explaining). You need someone by your side, not dragging you down.

Answer 4

Both of you know that when you have sex there is a chance of pregnancy, especially since you already have a little girl. I wouldnt have an abortion just because my boyfriend is having 2nd thoughts and isnt sure about whatever, If he wasnt so sure then why didnt he think about it before he took you to bed? Thats called not being responsible and know that he knows that there is baby#2 coming its easy for him to bring up excuses, its not a puppy we are talking about, its a human, he/she has no fault, doesn even know anything. Keep your baby, you wont be the first and last one to struggle.

Answer 5

If you get rid of this baby because HE changed his mind, you have issues. Why would you do something like that, let this man tell you what to do. There are so many people out there that have 3 and 4 kids that are able to do it themselves. Your daughter will be just fine. If he doesn't want you, then leave, have the baby then once it is Born take him to court and get child support, see how simple.

Answer 6

All I can tell you is if he's thinking of leaving you, whether or not you are pregnant won't change his mind. It may change the timetable (he'll leave sooner than planned or later than he thought), but either way he'll leave.

So, it's time you tell him you're pregnant again and have an honest talk about it. The cold truth is that he may leave you, and you need to be prepared for that. But that has nothing at all to do with the baby you are expecting and has everything to do with his maturity level and lack of commitment to you.

Hang in there. I wish you all the best.

Answer 7

there is so much i can probably tell you. Only you know how you feel and only you know what is right. if he is having second thoughts, then screw him. you are pregnant. you cant deny that. you cant make your decision based on his insecurites. i almost did, not that long ago. i am 10 weeks. we are on and off together. i have 2 babies. he has one. we both used to be married, well we are kinds in a sticky situation and it makes it harder. NONETHELESS i have made my decision, because this is a baby, a human heartbeat, and i couldnt make my decision just because he was scared of everyones reaction. he is slowly coming around, and we have even picked names!!! if you have faith, pray. you will know what to do. and if he chooses not to be a part of its life. HE IS MISSING OUT ON A GREAT GIFT. best of everything to you!!!! and honestly...congrats!!!

Answer 8

I think no matter what he is going to do what he wants to do. Dont get ride of your baby because he doesnt want it. Its not his choice its yours. He helped make the baby so he will have to deal with it. But no matter what dont abort because HE doesnt want the baby. Do what you feel is best.
Congrates and good luck!!

Answer 9

Have the baby he will have to deal with it, and if he leaves you are better off. Raising two children alone will be hard, but it can be done.

If he really didn't want a child he would've insisted on using protection.

Answer 10

You have to tell him. You might be suprised with his reaction. you just never know. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my second one and me and my now husband had only been dating 2 months and I was sure that he would want me to have an abortion but instead he was excited and he is still a great dad to our son.