i really hate when guys will try and chat you up at work and when they see you're clearly not interested they will get more aggressive (in their approaches). for example, sticking their leg out when you are passing by, stareing at you trying to make eye contact, asking you "why you looking so evil" (i know that is very poor grammer, but that is a quote. needless to say so many people think that's some how impressive, it's a real turn off). i don't like that sort of unwanted attention. the problem is my "superiors" had a chat with me and told me that I'M THE ONE who's being rude. i think i should pursue this. but the problem is how do i prove it. you can't stop someone from stareing at you, or co-workers from asking you how your doing (although that's not what they say. but still, the idea is that they are "concerned" BULL). i don't know what to do. could use some sound advise.
2007-08-09 10:27:03 · 6 answers · asked by vanessa w 5 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Law & Legal
"kikidsmom" what you said makes no sense. pretend to be gay!! and the crack about my attire. I WEAR SCRUBS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. i'm not a child, i know when i'm being cornered. and i'm not going to start acting "dykey" either. you sound a bit bitter to me (since you started with your irrational theories). lawyer, i doubt it. that's the worst advice ever given from one woman to another. just act like one of the boys i guess. either that or you didn't understand the question.
2007-08-09 15:03:29 · update #1
all of you are right (except for the k person, can't remember who she is, but some nerve!!) thanks though. it may seem cowardly of me to ask total strangers about it, but it's just so hard to do what i know i have to do (like take the complaints further), only because i still have to work!!! even if i went somewhere else it would still be in the area. i don't want to be ostracized but i'm pissed that i have to be the "bad guy". it's sort of like that response i got from that silly "k" something woman the so called lawyer that does the "high five, let's share derogatory jokes, i'll bring in the donuts for you boys" person's attitude that i know i'll have to deal with to the 10th power!!
2007-08-09 15:57:32 · update #2
Well first off yes it is harrassment becasue it is unwanted. I would go above your superiors. Talk to HR you have a right to file a formal written grievance with HR not only for the harrassment but for the fact your supervisors do not see anything wrong with what your co-workers are doing. There is nothing you can do if someone says hi to you, but if they say it in a way that makes you incomfortable it is harrasment and they need to do something about it.
2007-08-09 10:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Eric G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lighten up. First of all, most of the guys at your office are probably not trying to hit on you, and if they are reconsider what you are wearing to draw those kinds of comments and interests to yourself. Do you wear clothes that scream "look at my figure or my big boobs, etc."? If so, maybe dressing a little less provacatively might help. Or you could tell them you have a boyfriend or are gay. That will cut that off at the pass (and once they meet your new boyfriend one day they will realize you said that just to get some space.
For what it's worth, and I am a woman lawyer who works w/ mostly men, the kinds of behavior you are describing - eye contact, kidding around in the office and being friendly and letting your guard down a little to be nice and fun at work - are normal parts of most working relationships and you are coming across to me as being oversensitive or insecure about your job. Lighten up, crack a few jokes at them once in a while and don't be ready to jump down everyones' throat w/ threats and lawsuits. It's a small world and behavior like that will make it impossible to work there later and if you leave and word gets out in town, possible to find work anywhere else. Say you are sorry to your boss and announce tomorrow to the office at large "good morning" once as you walk in the door, and bring a dozen donuts and chill girl.
2007-08-09 14:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is definitely harassment and the fact they actually called your attention and not theres can very well be viewed as a form of retaliation. Having someone stick out there leg while you are walking by can actually cause an injury if you were to fall. I would certainly speak to an employment lawyer who specializes in harassment cases. That is totally unacceptable.
2007-08-09 13:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like harassment to me and your employer is at fault for (1) not taking your complaint seriously and worse, (2) for blaming you for bringing this on yourself.
If this is just some high school or college part-time job, I'd just move on. But if this is really your livelihood and you need the job, I'd file a complaint with your state office of economic security or the National Labor Relations Board.
2007-08-09 12:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried just telling them? Say something like "guys I am just trying to get my job done and would prefer if you just let me do it in peace. You may be coming across as a *itchy snob to them and they are doing all of this to get you riled. If you have tried the direct approach, and this has not worked, and you have tried talking to your immediate supervisors, then you need to start writing all of this down and take it to the next level.
2007-08-10 20:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by sbyldy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go over your bosses head to the HR director and file a formal complaint... and if it continues seek a lawyers advice
2007-08-09 15:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋