I have been married for 4 years and I think i don't love my husband anymore. I dont sleep next to him in bed(SEPERATE ROOMS) and we havent had any sex close to a year now.
It would be really nice if your partner would do simple things for you, like flowers or even just knowing my favorite color.
He hasn't done any of that but he tells me that he loves me.
Basically the relationship I believe has lost its focus and slowly drifted away or at least I drifted away.
I met someone new and really enjoy his company. He doesn't need to be told what to do, he just does it. I know it's the first 8 months and i need to know what I want.
Why am I staying in this marriage? Do I still love my husband or do i just feel bad for him? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF YOU STILL LOVE A PERSON OR JUST FEEL SORRY FOR THEM? I am stuck and don't know where to start. I don't know if I still want to work on this marriage and I am just having mixed emotions.
2007-08-09 10:13:45 · 11 answers · asked by Aileen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I told my husband that I am seeing someone else. He never responded to it at all.
2007-08-09 10:14:13 · update #1
sounds to me like you love eachother but are not in love. the fact that your husband didn't respond is funny...he either was not surprised, or doesn't care. neither is a good sign. perhaps you guys should split up for a while and see if you even miss eachother.
2007-08-09 10:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sure sounds like an emotionless marriage. I suspect your husband could be as heartbroken as you and cannot figure out what he has to do to connect with you.
You do not even ask lot of key questions about how you got to this situation. It actually sounds like a typical scenario where a woman marries a man and thinks she will fix his faults. Now he's a big disappointment.
I hope you get counseling so that when and if you break off, that you know what really happened. That is the only way to ensure it won't happen again.
Also, please stop seeing the other guy. It just is not right. Have character.
2007-08-09 17:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're hanging onto your husband because he is a source of income, probably. You're also not leaving your husband because you're unsure whether this second relationship will turn out like the first one, and your marriage is stable and secure.
Security is very important to you. The new man is a risk. You will probably find him cheating on you in a year or two, because those are the kind of men that would date a married woman in the first place.
Basically, you're using two men, but they may both be using you also.
However, sex is such a priority for men, that if your husband is not out fooling around himself, I'd say he's one hell of a guy, and he's the one that has the short end of the stick in this drama.
How do you know if you still love your husband? Dear, I think you have utterly conditional love, probably for any man. If he gives you the attention and SECURITY you want, then you "love" them.
You are the equivalent of what women call "pigs" in men, do you realize that?
2007-08-09 17:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your husband and want to work with him to fix your marriage? He can be taught to be more considerate and show you his love in the way that you want if you are willing to teach him and he is willing to learn.
The only way to know how you really feel about your husband is to stop all contact with the other guy and work on the marriage. With another man in the picture, you will never have a clear understanding of your own feelings for your husband.
Either put some serious effort into working with your husband to save the marriage or file for divorce. Its not fair to you, your husband or the new guy to do it the way you are.
2007-08-09 17:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately get yourself and your husband into marriage counseling. Sleeping in seperate rooms is the kiss of death to any marriage with few and rare exceptions.
You made promises to your husband on your wedding day. It is not ok to just break those promises because things are not going well. He has not committed adultry, nor does he sound abusive. If you want to respect yourself then you need to work on the marriage you have.
2007-08-09 17:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not sleeping in the same room with him then I don't think you really care about him anymore.
Why did you get married in the first place? Did he do this stuff before you where married, I'm guessing he did not. Why would you still marry him if that was importent to you? It sounds like you both have some issues that you need to work out.
2007-08-09 17:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by dohm84 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't know if you should stay in your marriage, but you told your husband you are seeing someone else. did you say it to hurt him or because you wanted to see i he cared enough. either way - if he didn't respond and you think you love this other person and there aren't any kids...cut your ties.
2007-08-09 17:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lori 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well why would you feel sorry for him? it takes two to have and save a marriage, if he is not putting forth effort why would u feel bad? i would not suggest divorce, but if you two need to decide if you want to stay together or not...if he didnt respond to you seeing someone else, it probably means he is too..
2007-08-09 17:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first, you have to deal with the failing/failed relationship before you get into another. Unless of course you just want to have an affair.
2007-08-09 17:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are seeing someone else, get out of your marriage. You don't get it both ways.
2007-08-09 17:19:43 · answer #10 · answered by crystal@simplythebestcandles.biz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋