I'm 17 and engaged to my unborn sons dad. He is 100% convinced im the one hes suppose to be with forever....I'm not so sure. I love him but I am so scared what if I am not suppose to be with him? What if we wont have a good marriage? Is it normal to feel this way?
2007-08-09 09:54:16 · 16 answers · asked by camdensmommy07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal but if you don't feel that you should marry this man quite yet then I would wait. Take the time you need to make sure that he is the right one for you. 17 is pretty young to be getting married anyways, and he should be able to understand if you need some time to think about things before actually getting married.
2007-08-09 10:03:29 · answer #1 · answered by Emily G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
VERY normal. You are still very young and have your WHOLE life in front of you.....you never know who will come into your life later on. Don't marry him just because he is the father of your child. Marriage is a life-long commitment and should be done out of unconditional love and respect for your partner. Get a note-book and write down the good things about him and reasons why you want to marry him and then write down the bad things about him and reasons why you don't want to marry him. I was a teen mom I had a child when I was 15 and I thought the best thing to do was marry her father..I was WRONG. He ended up being a scumbag. Take into consideration how well you know him and and whats best for you and your child. Good Luck!!........................I just looked at some of the other questions you asked in regard to your baby's father. Just a few days ago he was your ex-boyfriend and now he's your fiance? And you expressed concerns because he was abusive and on drugs and didn't keep his word to you. PLEASE think long and hard about marrying this guy. The world is filled with amazing men who will treat the way you deserve to be treated. Don't settle for anything less then the best!!!
2007-08-09 17:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by just a girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In today's society, it is difficult for someone your age to consider marriage. It is not impossible, but difficult.
Marriage takes work. A good marriage always takes work. It doesn't just become a good marriage. Too many divorces occur because people think good marriages just "are" and when the storms of life come along, they bail.
Do you love this guy enough to work things through when disagreements come up? Can you enjoy his presence enough even though he has a few habits you don't care for? Will you still love him in 30 years when his hair is thinner and his middle is thicker?
The other thing to consider is, are you considering marriage just because of the baby? That baby is very important, but so are the two of you. If you guys were serious about marriage despite the baby, then you have a shot. If you get married because of the baby, then there is a potential for problems. That does not mean total doom - just extra work.
You have to ask yourself, can you live without that young man for the rest of your life? If you can't, then the work of marriage is going to be worth it. If it doesn't matter if he is in your life, or not, then you have a decision to make. Just make sure that he still wants to be the Dad.
2007-08-09 17:08:06 · answer #3 · answered by TroothBTold 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal to be scared of big changes.
Don't marry him because you feel that you HAVE to, only marry him because you want to be married to him.
There is a difference.
You don't say how old he is, if he is your age, that is very young for a married couple to succeed with marriage. It's not impossible, but you both have to be mature individuals.
If he is older than you are and can provide support for you and your baby, then maybe it has a better chance to work. He has a legal resposibility to help support the baby anyway, but that is a lot different from loving the baby and loving you.
2007-08-09 17:17:39 · answer #4 · answered by yyyyyy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any type of dramatic change in one's life is scary. However, if you aren't sure about marrying him then DON'T. Because you are pregnant is not a reason to marry. You should marry someone because you share the same visions for the future and you have a plan on how to build a life together. Pregnant or not, 17 is too young to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. Your BF should be a part of his child's life regardless of whether he marries you or not. Don't forget "marry in haste, repent in leisure".
2007-08-09 17:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's common for both sides to be leary of the big day. Have you tried premarital counseling? The situation you are both in makes it harder to deal with. You have gotten pregnant by this man. He's obviously wants to try to be a family. In turn the respectful thing would be to try. Talk to someone close about the issues you are having.
2007-08-09 17:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by Carrie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have fears and difficulties. Does your guy respect you? Does he treat you well? Do you get along well together? Does he do what he says he will do? Can you settle differences of opinions without a huge fight? If you can answer those questions with an unqualified "yes" you are very likely headed in the right direction.
2007-08-09 17:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not your not ready and it don't sound like your happy about this. When i got engaged we both knew with out a chance that we were meant to be together , we knew since we first met each other in the Airport in London,England for the first time. And trust me no marriage is perfect and you will fight, you just have to make sure that before yu got to bed yall are ok with each other cause you never know when that your last time to see each other. You have to work for a marriage to stay together EVERYONE has to.
2007-08-09 17:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Nolan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes it's normal. my fiance, and I have been together 7yrs, and we will be married next year. Right now with all the planning I'm scared shi*less, but I do love him very much, and I know in my heart I will alway's love him no matter what.
2007-08-09 17:03:16 · answer #9 · answered by diablo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to adulthood. Get used to feeling this way. It is typical, but you need to take a long hard look at why you feel this way. Does he treat you well? Can he provide for the baby? Is he very mature? These are all valid questions you should have asked yourself before getting pregnanat. Definitly ask them before getting married.
2007-08-09 16:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋