I cant believe
I found someone as amazeing as you
You brightin up my day and make all my troubles go away
You show me everyday how much i mean to you
Everytime i see you my heart skips a beat
I can turn to you for comfort and advice
and whenevr i need help i know i'll always be able to count on you
Everytime were together it seems like the perfect place
I know youd never lie or want to see me cry
I cant get over this feeling of finding someone as perfect as you
<>I dont think its good but opinions please?><
2007-08-09 09:45:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I love the sentiment. While you are working on it, do not loose the sentiment.
2007-08-09 11:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by bsharpbflatbnatural 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a fan of blank verse or free verse. To me, it's too much like narrative, and there's little about it that is "poetic". However, I do respect the folks who do put their literary effort forth in that type of poetry.
You need to work on your line lengths and get them a little more uniform. There's some misspellings and punctuation problems. The poem definitely needs some work, but don't give up on it. It does have potential. Good luck!
2007-08-09 09:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, I don't think it is good either.
The question is why are you posting writing you are accept is no where near completion?
Use full words, grammar, et cetera.
Remember you're not writing a paragraph that you will then chop up to make a poem.
Develop the individual lines and you could make something out of it.
2007-08-09 12:00:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it, it rhymes well. This has great flow! I think its good!
2007-08-09 11:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sh00ting_St@r! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it, sounds real good to me. Good work :)
2007-08-09 09:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by theboss 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋