I've been living with this man for a year now...we've been together for 3.....but he's not going forward with his divorce because he doesn't want to pay for it......He feels that since she is the one that filed then she should pay, but I feel like it's a small price to pay for US to really start our lives together without this over our heads. He says it doesn't matter it's just a piece of paper..."You're my Wife" but somehow none of this feels right to me.....We spend money on SO MANY material things....$2,000 Apple Laptop, $500 XBox 360, 2-3 Video games a month....and now he want's to purchase a $1,500 HDTV....WTF?!?!? Should I just kick his *** out.....has it gotten to a point where I need to hand down an ultimatum??
2007-08-09 09:07:06 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He in all probability needs to attend until the debt is long gone to divorce because of the fact divorce could be severe priced and a huge concern financially, especially once you're already interior the hollow. Then there'd be newborn help, looking your person places, etc.. I particularly do not think of after the debt is long gone he will % to grant your marriage yet another probability...and despite if he did, i don't think of it incredibly is truthful he's telling you it incredibly is effective to take a seat and watch for that to ensue before he makes a call. i'm sorry, apparently like your marriage is over and you survive fake desire.
2016-12-15 10:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by rosalee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should enlighten him about my own personally misery. I too didn't want to pay for the divorce nearly 8 years ago when I left a woman. Now she has three kids, that the state claims me as the legal father of. So now, what would have been a 300 dollar uncontested divorce, has turned into a Multiple-state, much more expensive divorce.
You have the right to issue the ultimatum, it's a few hundred now, to swallow his pride, or a few thousand and the possible loss of you. It's just better to be done with it.
2007-08-09 09:15:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a cop out on his part. You've been together for three years, but still sounds like he can't let his ex go. You're not wrong, but an ultimatum is not going to make things better. If he can't decide on his own to pay for it, then he's content with the way things are. Some people just have a very difficult time letting go.
2007-08-09 09:16:41 · answer #3 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hand down an ultimatum, just be sure you can handle the outcome.
You knew he was married when you met him 3 yrs ago. Why is it just now bothering you that he didn't run to the courthouse to get a divorce?
Sounds like he just doesn't want to commit. If you do, you may have to find someone else to do it with.
2007-08-09 09:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by Elt 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are shacked up with a married man and you wonder why he is such an A** hole in the way he acts?
Forget the ultimatum, move out and don't be surprised when he sues you over the material crap you bought together.
2007-08-09 09:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can absolutely see your point on this, but I can also kind of see his. When I left my husband I wouldn't have even THOUGHT of having him pay for the divorce. I left him, I paid for it. It probably comes down to pride for him. Even though he probably has no feelings whatsoever for her, she wounded his pride by leaving him. Men won't readily admit to this and it may not be the case with him, but it is a possibility.
Edit - I like Elt's statement above. Don't give an ultimatum unless you're ready for the outcome.
2007-08-09 09:12:08 · answer #6 · answered by Beth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, its time for an ultimatum. Either he divorces her and starts a life with you free and clear or he gets out. Don't give him more than a month to pony up the money for the divorce and stick to the conditions of the untimatum if he does not.
2007-08-09 09:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A man cannot have two wives. And as long as he is officially married to another woman. He cannot be considered in law even as your common-law husband. Which means that in case the two of you split up, you will be treated no better than an ordinary room-mate. He won't have any obligations to you whatsoever.
Perhaps he likes being free of any obligations to you. And that's why he won't go through with his divorce.
2007-08-09 09:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he knows if he gets a divorce from her then you will want to be the new wife. it sound like he does not want to remarry and its just easier to stay married to her. don't push him. he will divorce when hes ready. he was married when you meet him. he was married when had your first date. he was married when you moved in with him. what difference does it make now. you can give him the ultimatum but don't be surprised if you find your self living alone.
2007-08-09 09:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by BLOODHOUND 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's an excuse. He doesn't really want to get remarried but he doesn't want to have the confrontation with you because it might upset the way he has things now so he's avoiding the confrontation by staying married.
2007-08-09 09:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by nspir8ion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋