ok im seperated and i told my husband i would not file for a divorce i do not believe in divorce???????

Question

i was just wondering why my husband hasnt filed for a divorce yet we have been seperated now for goen on 5 months and he knows i do not believe in divorce we do not communicate i put a restraining order on him he had a violent temper and we have no children so guys and gals whats your opinion ty so much and tc jewels

Answer 1

My opinion is that if you dont believe in divorce and he initiates it then it is still divorce.

He hasn't initiated it because he is an ass and has power issues.

I'm assuming you do not believe in divorce for religious reasons. Most religions these days are supportive of divorce in at least some situations, such as a violent abusive spouse.

As you are still married you are still legally bound to each other. Do what you need to get over it and get him out of your life permanently.

Answer 2

You can not have your cake and eat it too!. If you do not believe in divorce and he has not filed for divorce then you have to stay married. But guess what? If you left him, he can just let the clock run and in a year or two, depending upon the state, he can claim you abandoned him and he gets all the property. If you no longer have contact, all he will have to do is put the divorce notice in newspaper and have the papers served at your last known address. You will not know of the divorce trial and he wins. You have two choices if you do not want to end up royally screwed. #1. YOU file for divorce right now. Get an lawyer and have he put a freeze on all the assets so your husband can not start selling off stuff and hiding the money. Then go to court and fight it out. #2. Move back home. Make the marriage work.

Answer 3

mmm interesting...

if you don't believe in divorce, then why have you moved away from the marital home? isn't this the same thing as abandoning your marital duties?

or is he the one that decided to separate so he is the one that abandoned his marital duities?

I am just asking these questions because it just doesn't make sense to not believe in divorce yet live apart.

Of course leaving an abusive home is the right thing!! But what is giving him the control of this situation doing for you? When I say you are giving him this control over you, I mean by him not divorcing you, you will not be able to move on and marry someone else.

I really think you should go and speak to someone knowlegable in your religion who can advise you what to do. Tell them your whole situation and what is going on.

But know that most likely if this person says that there is no divorce once you marry, you are also most likely commiting a sin by not doing your marital duties to your husband.

This is another ruling of Christianity (but not practiced by all Christians) that makes me see that Islam makes more sense.

God dislikes divorce, but He does permit it because sometimes a marriage just doesn't work. Divorce over no good reason is the divorce that is disliked, and we are warned that He will question (on Judgement Day) those who divorced for no good reason.

Answer 4

I can't explain his actions to you. I don't know him and can think of a dozen reasons he has not filed from financial to emotional.

Eventually, one of you will decide to file for divorce.

What confuses me is why you haven't filed. I know you do not believe in divorce, but the divorce will eventually happen given the situation. Better to get it done now when you can find him and have him served properly that later and have all kinds of possible issues. Not to mention, if you purchase property, inherit or a host of other things while legally married, he could have claim on those as marital assets when you do divorce.

To my way of thinking, there is no point in staying married to someone on paper only. Especially if there is no attempt being made to work things out.

Since there are no kids and probably no real assets, you can file your own divorce for the cost of the papers and filing fee.

I did my own divorce for a total of a few hundred dollars and we had kids. Luckily, there was no disagreement on custody. I filed my papers and the divorce was final 3 months later after having been married but seperated for over two years. It was a relief to have it finally finished and to be free of the past.

Answer 5

Well it has only been 5 months, but I can bet you he is waiting for you to do it becuase it costs money. I know you may not believe in divorce, and I don't know your specific reasons, but if he is violent and has as bad temper, that is reason right there not to stay married to him. Give it some more thought. If this is not a situation that can be mended and you really given up on it every being fixed, then seriously think of divorce and move on with your life. You deserve it.

Answer 6

I was in a similar situation. He won't get the divorce because he doesn't want to have to pay for it, take the time and effort to get the ball rolling, and it's way of maintaining a control over you. Unfortunately it's up to you to get it done....he's not going to. The sooner you break free the less of a hold he'll have on you whether you see it or not. If he was violent once they always do it again. I was married 7 years without him laying a hand on me then what started as a shove year 7 turned into a gun at my head year 8.....I was lucky...not everyone always can be. Get out while you can and have the confidence to do it.

Answer 7

Um, I'm really not following this very easily. Because as I see it you can't really get over the abusive guy if you won't get a divorce from him. And you would totally still be in a legal relationship if not an emotional one. Also if he were to file for divorce you still have to sign the divorce papers for it to be legally over as well. So it seems like you want something to happen that just will never be, because of your beliefs. No offense but that is just not logical to me.

Answer 8

well if you dont believe in divorce then i guess you will never get divorce. i mean why are you waiting for him to do it if you dont beileve in divorce? looks it is over and who cares who files as long as someone does it and it is over with. you have been seperated for 5 months and you are what still think he is going to come back to you after who knows what he is doing now. no why not move on with your life and file for divorce and start your new life. if you are going to wait for him to do it then you will be forever married, but seperated from this guy, then when yo ufind the guy that is your knight and shining armor you will have to hunt this old guy down to get a divorce. i say you take care of it now and get over the fact that you dont believe in divorce and just do it. by the way if you didnt believe in divorce then you should have gotten married in the first place until you were really sure this guy was the right one for you. goodl uck!!!

Answer 9

I think that's an oxymoron. You don't believe in divorce, but you can be separated forever? So you're technically "cheating" if you are ever with anyone again? I think that it's time to "get real". So you don't believe in divorce. Neither do I unless it's a last resort, and I've been there and done that. It's the same as any other life decision you really didn't want to have to make. Stop waiting on him. Get a divorce, chalk it up to bad decision-making to ever get involved with him in the first place, forgive yourself, and give yourself permission to move on. If "God is forgiving" he will too.

Answer 10

If he is violent then there is no use in prolonging the seperation. If you do not want anything from him just go file with no kids it is pretty simple and cheap. If it is a community property state it is even easier without kids they just divide all assets down the middle and you go your seperate ways. I think it is one of the good reasons to get a divorce. No one is going to blame you for getting out quick,fast and in a hurry even.