Should I be mad at my sister about baby shower?

Question

My older sister is throwing me a baby shower with like 100 people. She told me that she invited my maternal grandmother, who wouldnt know me if she walked into me on the street, my mother chose to uninvolve herself and her own family with her parents about 30 years ago because she was abused a child by her father, not sexually, just physically and mentally, my grandmother chose him over her own children. My mother is going to be hurt and furious when she finds this out, but my older sister thinks she is being a peacemaker and wants my grandmother to know her children. I agree with my mom and think that if she couldnt involve herself in my life as a child then why should i involve my child with her? Am I being unreasonable, I just feel bad for my mom??

My mom will be a complete lady over the whole situation and not say a word, this is how she is, however, my mom worked hard to giv eus a good life, I just dont think that grandma should be able to waltz in and get all the attention. I dont feel like I missed out, we grew up with my dads mom right down the street from our house who was an active and loving grandma and spent a lot of time with us, and that was enough.

Answer 1

Well first of all talk to your mom about it then after talking to her make your own mind up. Your sister shouldn't be doing this without the consent of both you and your mother I wouldn't be mad. Just remember you can uninvited her if you wish. It's about you and the baby if having her there will cause drama I would leave her out of it. You should talk to your mom first.

Answer 2

While your sister seems to have good intentions, your baby shower is not the place to try to make peace over such a devastating issue. It would be akin to inviting a divorced couple to a wedding shower in the hopes of getting them back together.

If the invitation has already been sent, then your sister OUGHT to call the grandmother and explain that she jumped the gun, and while she would love to have Grandmama over to her house for Sunday dinner with your mom and you and whomever, she's afraid it will be just too darn awkward for Grandmama to be reintroduced to the family in a gathering of so many people, with such a different focus. She should apologize profusely for having to rescind the invitation and beg Grandmama's forgiveness.

She may not be willing to do this, of course, and as the hostess of the party, there isn't much you can do about it other than tell her that it isn't at all what you had hoped for. Then drop it. Make your statement and let it go.

One would think Grandmama wouldn't even want to come to something like this, but if she does, all you have to do is politely acknowledge her and thank her for coming. If you open gifts at the party, thank her for the gift. Oh, and it would be nice if you kept your mom by your side and occupied so that there wasn't any scuttle between her and Grandmama or her and your sister.

Answer 3

Oh i agree two hundred percent with you. Besides the very good points you have made your sister obviously doesn't know how to throw a baby shower anyhow!!!! Yes she is the one responsible for inviting everyone and organising it but the thing is she's only supposed to invite people that you want there. You are supposed to give her the list of people to invite! I'd make her call grandmama and uninvite her since it doesn't sound like you have any interest in fixing it. Besides if it's going to be fixed it SHOULDN'T be fixed at YOUR baby shower! Good luck hun stand up to your sister!

Answer 4

I agree with you, a baby shower with 100 people is not the way to bring the grandmother you've never had anything to do with enter your life. If I were you .....She made a choice when she took her husband's side. I wouldn't want people like her having anything to do with me or my baby. Just tell your sister how you feel and she can take care of the uninvite.

Answer 5

I think your sister's intentions are honourable but your baby shower is not the right venue. She's a little misguided. If she wants your grandmother to know her children that has nothing to do with you and your feelings or those of your mother.
Your sister cannot force your mother to forgive the woman and I can certainly understand your concern for how your mother might react.
Your sister didn't think this one out.

Answer 6

This stress should never have been put on you! Baby showers are for the mother and the child, not for the other people. You are rightfully outraged! If I were you I'd tell my sister to call and cancel her invite or you should do it verbally on the phone or something, there is no need for additional stress at your shower. Your sister is not nice for doing this.

Answer 7

i don't think your baby-shower is the time or place for a family reunion! your sister doesn't know how this will effect your mom. I think you should either let your mom know ahead of time or tell your sister to have them meet up before the show if she wants but not at your show.. that is supposed to be about you and the baby, not drama!
Congrats and good luck!

Answer 8

I have the same situation with my Great Grandmother. We all despise her for various reasons, but as she reaches her 90's, we have all kind of looked aside at all of the past and have treated her with dignity for her final years. People do what they do, there is no fixing it, but blood is blood. I didn't want to believe it, but when I had her great-great-grandson last year, she all of a sudden wanted to be involved. So rather than waste my time and feelings on making her "pay the price" for what she did to me, I went to see her, and brought her new great-great grandson. And you know what? She was kind, funny, involved, and wonderful with that little baby. I say if she's up there in years, forgive and forget. She'll be gone before you know it.

Answer 9

i think of your sister is being very rude and ungrateful. She could have spoke back with a thank you. If somebody had rather paid for all of my bathe i could have been so satisfied. i ended up splashing out some hundred funds and on no account have been given repaid. My daughter is 17 months so I on no account assume to work out that funds. what's embarrassing is how your sister acted. You consistent with risk could have spent much less. A blue limo won't be a necessity. I in basic terms went to a tub and the individuals information superhighway hosting did no longer spend very plenty funds on their presents and bathe in any respect. i became slightly a great deal bowled over at how low fee the whole bathe became and this lady lives in her 2nd abode that expenditures $six hundred,000. Six women folk additionally hosted this bathe. $one thousand spent on a tub is dissimilar funds!!! If my sister acted like this i could be hesistant to purchase something. i'm cranky adequate that i could wrap up the commute equipment she gave me in case you nevertheless have it and provide it back. provide her time to kick back off and consistent with risk provide her something whilst the toddler is born. Did your mom no longer talk up on your behalf? We continuously positioned my mom contained in direction of our fights.

Answer 10

It's ultimately up to you - tell your sister this isn't the time or the place for peace making efforts: it's a celebration. Tell her to start out easy with emails or letters - not an in your face at your shower ordeal. Your sister is being selfish.