Is constantly threatening to break up a sign of an un-healthy Marriage? I dont 100% trust my partner, he lied early in the relationship about a few things, to try to keep me, although I would of stayed anyway. Now we seem to have done the relationship backwards, stormy at first, Married very early (4 months in) I have a baby boy. Now it feels more settled and calmer, I think we both had demons to exorcise. We have. But this means we have lots of material to throw at each other, Him for me drinking after my pregnancy (now stopped, completly) Me for him lying, being in touch with female single "friends" behind my back. It just seems we always have something to throw at each other. We hardly ever shout, we exchange words and insults but not often. If something started out so bad can it ever come good? We laugh a lot more now, make our Son happy and balanced, both want to leave the nastyness given by our parents behind. With this in mind, is it worth trying to have the life we want?
2007-08-09 08:21:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. If things are getting better, I say keep working on it. Be open and honest, communicate, forgive and build the kind of life you both want.
2007-08-09 08:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes absolutely. We have an agreement that there are certain things we will not say to each other. One is the word divorce or I'm leaving. Another is that we don't bring up what the other person did wrong in the past especially if they apologized and it's been dealt with. I tend to screw up with the leaving things in the past but my husband just reminds me and I correct myself. He tends to threaten to leave and I remind him of our rules and he says sorry I'm angry I don't want to leave you. These problems are very common and if you are both willing to work on them you will be just fine! Good luck to you both! If you need more info on how to fight fair with someone go see a counselor or get one of the many great books that are out there.
2007-08-09 15:33:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you just wrote my personal story. thats exactly how my marriage started and now i am on this website trying to figure out if he's been cheating on me and whether it is worth saving. so my advice - get counseling now! don't wait until one of you is packed up, like i did. my husband would never go before but i should have gone without him, and i hope you will too, before things get so much more complicated as life does the longer you live it. One other word of advice: if you do seek counseling and it doesn't seem right for you, don't just quit, find someone else. i did see someone shortly after we were married and i didn't really like her so i just stopped going - i wish i had looked around for someone else. and even though right now i feel hopeless and jaded myself, i can;t help but tell you that yes, it is always worth trying to have the life you want.
2007-08-09 15:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by Lori 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you guys just sit down like two adults and agree to not name call or blast the past in each other's face, and if one does do that, then the other can call them on it and there needs to be an apology. you guys have a bad habit and you need to break the habit. that takes 3 weeks. try to go one day at a time for 3 weeks with absolutely NO name calling or arguing. you sound like you guys may be able to do this.
2007-08-09 15:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to work this through together you should go to counseling together. You have to find a way to put your past and bad habits behind and work toward a more constructive future. And you have to learn how to treat each other with more respect. You can save this if you want.
2007-08-09 15:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it isn't bad and worth trying...if you are happier now than before...continue on the path that you've chosen.
2007-08-09 15:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You just need to learn the rules to "fight fair". A counselor can teach that.
2007-08-09 15:25:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not as bad as it could be, work on it...I'm sure you guys will be fine.
2007-08-09 15:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by U1S2K3O4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋