I have had numerous affairs on my husband. I stopped cheating 5 years ago. I recently confessed everything to my husband. He, with God's help, found a way to forgive me. I have a tremendous amount of pain for hurting him, but I also hurt for the other spouse's involved. Should I tell these other wives or should I keep it to myself and let God handle the situation?
2007-08-09 08:10:55 · 25 answers · asked by BecA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, let me say that I am so glad you chose to have the courage to tell your husband and that he had God's grace to forgive you and work on your marriage!!! You are an awesome example to others going through this situation!
Secondly, if you are really sorry for what you did and have repented (stopped those actions) then yes, you should tell the wives. When you cheated, you not only wronged your husband, but the men you slept with AND their wives. You owe them a True & Sincere appology!
Besides, their husbands may still be cheating ~ and they have a right to know! It will be their decisions on how they treat their husbands and marriages.
This certainly is not an easy thing to decide or go through with! My heart goes out to you and you'll be in my prayers!!!
2007-08-09 08:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only trying to relieve your own conscience. Why would you want to inflict this pain on them? Let the individual couple's work this out on their own. Either the other spouse's know by now, or it's been concealed for 5 years. Leave it alone. There is more at stake here than just your guilt feelings, there are families involved. Let the other cheater's handle it their own way. You stabbed them in the back once, what do you want to do now, twist the knife.
Sorry if I sound so rough on you, but believe me, I've been on both sides of this fence, the cheater and the cheated on. Leave it alone.
2007-08-09 08:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by Brad M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep it to yourself...you did what you were committed to do by telling your husband..you were not the only one in the wrong....the guys you cheated with are responsible for telling their spouses....it was wrong for you to cheat and risk breaking up a happy home in the first place, if they are all still together, telling them now would be causing problems that you don't need to get in the middle of. It's the guys who are going to have to live with their conscious for not telling their wives. They may not have spouses as forgiving as yours and you've done enough potential damage already. Just let it go and be happy you still have your husband!!
2007-08-09 08:16:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stopped cheating 5 YEARS ago, for god's sake do not tell these other people. Alot of time has passed for them also and it's up to them to tell their spouses about it. What good would it do to bring up something from so long ago and possibly hurt others and their families. Let them deal with their pasts and take care of your own life. I see no good at this point in telling others to make yourself feel better.
2007-08-09 08:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it to yourself. The affairs are over and the only person that consented to confess is you. If you tell the other wives the husbands may not be so fortunate.
You have alleviated your guilt by confessing. If the other men want to do so that is their business, not yours. Keep it to yourself and let God decide.
2007-08-09 08:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell the wives, you could cause many problems for other peoples marriage. Just because your husband is fine that you cheated on him and are still together does not mean that will be the same for the other couples involved.
2007-08-09 08:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell the other spouses what you did with their husbands that would just be another selfish act on your part. It would ease your guilty conscience but it would only cause more pain for the others involved. You chose to tell your spouse, let the men you were with decide for themselves whether to tell theirs.
2007-08-09 08:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I wouldn't want to be responsible for the destruction of those families. Are there kids involved with the families of these men? Sometimes things are better left alone. In the end everyone will pay one way or another. Why destroy more lives? I would not tell.
2007-08-09 08:17:57 · answer #8 · answered by tigrompy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this what you feel God wants you to do? I would talk to a church leader about what they think you should do. You have righted things with your husband which is a great step to take. Make sure this is what God wants you to do before talking to the other spouses.
2007-08-09 08:16:37 · answer #9 · answered by Kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've taken care of what you needed to - your relationship. If your husband has forgiven you, good for you two and I wish you both happiness. For you to tell the others, while it may help clear your conscience, is not really your part to play. It is up to the guys you were with to come clean to their partners and let what happens happen
2007-08-09 08:30:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋