How should i learn to say no?

Question

I'm the kind of person who always falls for cute eyes or such. But that makes me alway's say yes. I'm tired of being dragged around by people but it's so hard for me to say no. And when i do the people around me get very angry. What should i do?

Answer 1

When you are tempted to say yes, just think about all the times when you said yes and it got you into situations that you did not want to be in. Then look them straighten in the eyes and say NO. People that are used to you saying yes will be upset for a moment but let it roll off your shoulder. If they are your real friends they will respect your response. After you say it a few times, it will be easy as cake!! Good luck to you!!

Answer 2

Here is what I think: I think that you should stop worrying so much about what other people think. Because it's not their life ... it's yours ... and you should learn how to live it. Nobody has any right to get angry over a decision that YOU are making for YOURSELF. You should learn the importance of that. life always isn't so easy when you are being pressured into something ... but you should always think of the consequences of your answers. For instance ... if somebody is pressuring you to use drugs ... and you think its extremely hard to say no ... because it's one of your closest friends pressuring you ... then think of the consequences if you do say yes. Those consequences would not be good for you or you health at all. So sometimes ... no ... ALL THE TIME ... in life you have to do what's important fpr yourself and nobody else.

--hope I helped

Answer 3

I have the same problem, what I learned from my therapist is to say no. The reason that I always said yes was because I felt so bad saying no and I was afraid that I was going to make them sad but my therapist said you should not feel obligated to make other people happy but yourself. If they dont like it then they are not very good friends anyway. They will accept any answer if they really love you as a friend. Good luck.

Answer 4

For many years, I use to be just like you. Eventually, I got tired of worrying about other folks and their feelings. I notice that no one was taking my feelings into any consideration. Telling people no is not that difficult. The sooner you begin the process, the sooner you will receive the respect that you so deserve.

Answer 5

Stand up for yourself. People tend to go bonkers when other people don't do what they want. It makes them uncomfortable and they feel like they're losing control of the situation if they can't maintain control of you or others. Do not do anything you don't want to do. If it means risking a "friend" they probably weren't worth the effort anyway. Don't worry yourself over breaking the mold.

Answer 6

if someone asks you to do something, count to 20 in your mind... if you are stuck on NO thank you as a response, then say it.

can't be easier than that.

also, saying YES all of the time will lead to self-misery and a lot of problems... eventually you will wonder why YOU do things for others all of the time, but no one is there when you need them.

best thing to do is take care of YOU... saying NO is a good way to start.

hugs

Answer 7

You sound like a nice person who gets clawed into things you don't like. Its hard to say no but when you've done it once it gets easier. just think before you answer and don't look into their eyes

Answer 8

it's hard but practice will make you best at it!
don't be mean when you say no
just say i'm sorry but no!

you just do it! there is no easy way! sorry!

this site may help you soul search and maybe you can get to the bottom of i with in yourself!
www.coping.org

Answer 9

haven't you heard that saying just say no? its that simple. just say no. if you go along with it its because you want to. no is an easy word to say. you might not like the reaction but thats there problem. you have to do whats right for you.

Answer 10

It's crucial and vital that you learn to stand by yourself, your will and learn to say NO to others when you feel like you have to. To me it sounds like you're the same type of person as me: shy and introverted who tries to fit in with other's expectations, and rather says YES to other for certain things just because you don't want to hurt others' feelings.

Why is it important for you to learn to be able to say no to others? Because assertiveness and the degree of how assertive you are will affect all areas of your life. Your friendships, your relations with others, and even your career path.

Of course in many cases it's fine and totally acceptable to say yes to others in certain situations but NOT ALL THE TIME.

It's a matter of discussing and negotiating YOUR WILL with others. Those who get angry of you just because you say no for something means that they place THEIR OWN EGO into priority and don't want to consider your will. This is because they want something so badly enough, so much that they won't be able to accept a NO for an answer. The simple explanation for this is that THEY WANT TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. It's very important for you to practice saying NO to others whenever you feel like you have to say it. AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANT: stop caring about being accepted by othres and fitting in with their expectations regarding you. You're a unique individual who's not less valuable than others. On the contrary. You also possess great values within you, and you also have the right to express your will to others any time you don't feel like doing something. And remember: practicing assertiveness and the ability to say no creates the impression in others about you that you're a MATURE, GROWN up individual who DARES to say no, and DARES to express her own views and opinions without having to hurt others.

And how to say no to others? Do it in a diplomatic way. Don't be aggressive. Assertiveness is not equivalent to aggressiveness. Only rude people choose the aggressive way to respond, whereas mature and grown up people know that they can also say NO to others diplomatically, without hurting the feeling of others feelings. Tell them your own arguments, DISCUSS it with them, tell them why you don't feel like doing something that others want you to do. And if they can't understand your situation and feelings, tell them that they're selfish if they can't understand your feelings and wants.

Don't let others to control your life. Start practicing assertiveness (the act and ability to stand by yourself and represent your arguments in a diplomatic way) and start taking control of your own life. You will see, you will be greatly respected by others for doing so.

Good luck for you, and have a great day!
Attila