Is false hope worse than no hope?

Question

Have any of you encountered someone in an official capacity who has been all nice & friendly, said they were going to help you get a disability pension, & housing, then have them turn around & say "I cant help you after all" & they drop you flat AFTER you got your hopes up? This is so cruel.

IMO false hope is worse than no hope. You leave thanking God, feeling SO relieved someone is finally going to help you, then they just slam you back on your face again.

Not only have they gotten your hopes up, you have stopped pursuing other avenues believing you have found THE ONE person who is finally going to help you? "We will make sure you dont end up homeless and living on the street -"

Then nothing, just something really stupid like "have you applied for Social Assistance?" AFTER you have told them you were turned down for Assistance twice & told to sell you car, worth $500

I am so PO'd, (Canada) & I am fed up with this kind of crap from the MP's & MLA's office

I have had this happen to me twice now. First with BC Community Housing and now again with an elected official.

I am so FED up with these kind of people, they have NO right to say things to people that arent true.

Being disabled is hard enough, being homeless is worse, being lied to constantly and given false hope by people who are supposed to be helping their constituents and clients is unacceptable and amounts to abuse of the elderly and disabled.

When they drop you like this your spirit sinks lower than it was to start with.

Why dont they just go out on the street and wave some food in front of a starving homeless person then eat it themselves and laugh at his/her suffering?

I talked to this person who assured me, face to face, that she would NOT let me end up homeless, she WOULD make sure I got my pension, she was going to give me the help I needed. She was fibromyalgia herself, she KNOWS what it feels like, she couldnt have made it without the help of her wonderful husband, there are days when she cant even put on her own bra - etc etc

I felt so relieved ! FINALLY someone who has been there, someone who KNOWS what the challenges are, someone who can relate 100% to me, someone who is going to help me! I felt like celebrating, after all the crap I have been through I have finally reached the end !!! This is it, finally I will have a home, a pension !!!!!!!!!! This is the BEST thing that has happened to me in 17 years !!!!!!!!!! WOW thank You God !!

THEN she turns around the next day, acts like she cant remember even talking to me and say she cant help me, "we" dont give that kind of help to people... blah blah blah

Big fat liar. I felt crushed.

I dont know if you have ever experienced this, but I could barely walk from her office to my car. The pain of being lied to and betrayed once more was SO HUGE I wanted to just lie down on the sidewalk, curl into a ball and cry.

I felt so flattened, emotionally, mentally, physically, I had let myself BELIEVE and I think I was actually in shock -

I havent believe in anything or anyone for 17 years, and as one poster said, defintiely not in workers comp. Like an idiot I allowed myself to believe, I let go for one day what experience has taught me - how stupid was I?

I should have known better, there is no real human being working anywhere in a Government office. I think they have to pass a test proving they can lie like an expert, are racist, bigotted cruel ignorant insensitive arrogant *** h**** in order to get their job in the first place.

Answer 1

Yes false hope is worse than no hope. I feel for you hon. Both my fiance and I have been in that situation. My fiance, even though he has seizures and cannot work has been turned down by the government(US) for SSI (Social Security Income).
I've been turned down for assistance from our state, even though I have missing toes and missing fingers. They said that I'm not disabled enough. They tell me that I should be able to work, yet no one will hire me because I cannot stand on my feet for more than 2 hours at a time, or I don't type fast enough for an office type job. But I should still be able to work. I feel for ya. People just don't care. They don't have to worry about it.

OK I have an update for you, maybe this will give you some hope. I have finally got the news that I wanted, after almost a year of "Sorry, can't help you." I finally got the help I needed. Its there, you just need to keep trying. Please don't give up, keep bugging them, even if you have to break down and start crying in their office. Things will eventually work out for you. I have faith in that. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 2

I don't recall any. but false hope is better than no hope because then I will be thinking positive. If a person is trying to help you and they don't have the final word then that's not false hope that is a person with good intentions. All people are not out to hurt people like you think this person has done to you. Pick yourself up and go at it another way. And that's with anything not just disability pension. Think positive.

Answer 3

This sort of thing happens in Australia too. And it annoys the hell out of me and many thousands of people.

I learn't very quickly not to trust people at face value, especially Government departments.

My husband had to lodge a form by a certain date, at Centrelink (ssi in USA), he was cut off his payments, for non-lodgment of the form, we were able to prove it was lodged with a dated stamp & staff signature, on another document, his form was found in someones in-folder. It was re-stamped and supposedly given to the relevant person. I asked for a copy before we left. That should have been the last of it right?

The form went missing again twice more, even though the second time I showed them the original photo copy.

The third time I yelled at the counter staff, and demanded that we see the center manger (not the duty manager), we were issued an immediate payment. Before I left I demanded the complaints number to ring, which I did ring.

The local office was given a sever over haul, and a butt kicking, and we were given a official apology, as it was found that we were not at fault. Since then the local office who now know me by name can't do enough for me.

So now every time I ring a Government dept or a company, I would ask for the name of the person I was talking too, including their staff number and what department they were in, I would then note the date, time and what ever clap trap they spun me, after they had finished I would then demand a receipt/call number. If taping the conversation, I would be sure to let them know I was taping them.

And if I have to lodge any documents etc, I photo copy it after being dated, stamped and signed. If it to be sent to a Government dept I will send it via registered mail.

Answer 4

This has happened to me, and I had headaches and feelings of just being let down. I felt really bad for three days. I do not trust anyone anymore. Everytime I try to trust a person, it just backfires on me. People will lie and not answer the phone along with other lies to avoid you.Keep the faith and do not give up. There is nothing you can not face. Things will get better, life is full of surprises.The sun will shine again for you.Do not let anyone or anything bring you down so hard again. Trust yourself.

Answer 5

False hope is far worse because it gives the person a false sense of security.

That same kind of crap goes on here in the US. The only differance here is the fact we do have TV Stations that we can, and have gone to, when this does take place.

That is the main reason why I learned not to trust the government or relay on promises that people have made to me in the past. Good luck.

Answer 6

NOTHING hurts worse than false hope. I've dealt with the VA since August 1983. I've lost count of the times I was lied to. Then there is the VA Shuffle. One person refers you to another, who refers you to another, etc. You wind up with the person you started with, nothing having been done. It really hurts when someone SEEMS to be making an effort, only to find out they are just another step in the VA Shuffle. Hope itself is a good thing. False hope is a lie & a broken dream waiting to happen. I hope that you get the help you need. Blessings!

Answer 7

I am not sure it is worse - as sometimes it keeps you going when you otherwise would think there was no hope at all.

But what you need to do...when a person makes a promise, ask them if this is a promise or a wish on their part and if it is a promise - get it in writing. If they won't put it in writing you can have a good idea taht they might not keep their promise.

Answer 8

Giving any one false hope by lying is the worst hope because the guilt one sometimes leaves while the person with the disability has fallen off the driving board of false hope into the mud. It makes it hard to trust in genuine hope.

Answer 9

You get the same crap from those arrogant scum at the workers comp. board. lies,the run-around,never ending b.s. I would love to see one honest person in government actually change these sickeningly wasteful,government backed dictatorships. I HATE the w.c.b. All government run agencies are so terribly mismanaged and inefficient that they are a disgrace to man.

Answer 10

yes false hope is worse than no hope i am disabled and i have been trying to find me a wife some one that i can love and be loved back from some one to spend my life with and all i seem to get is women trying to scam be for money once they find out i am disabled i am tired of that i want to find a women thats disabled herself to be with then maybe it will will work out . and i hope she will want to move in with me when it happens because i do not drive .so i would say that false hope is diffinently worse than no hope i hope this helps