How To Speak Southern
Hah Tu Spek Suthun)
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BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAWSE - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bawse is gonna far you!"
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."
LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action
2007-08-09 05:26:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
My dad's friend gave me this as an email
2007-08-09 05:32:30 · update #1
Go use it in your blog
2007-08-09 05:34:00 · update #2
Hilarious. Is this how YOU speak? Coz you are so good at explaining it.
2007-08-09 05:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Noona 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That was hilarious! I actually understood it, too. Here's one educated=edumacated
2007-08-09 13:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by napoleondynamite2907 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
shaw nuf dew..being from the south and all, I have done been educated.
2007-08-09 12:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who's got the time to read a book....sheeeeeeeesh!!!!!
2007-08-09 12:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by bobemac 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
No...its old...im from TN...and we have a dictionary thank you.
2007-08-09 12:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle B 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
hahaha yeah it is funny!!
2007-08-09 12:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL, care if i use it in my blog???
2007-08-09 12:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sho' is funny
2007-08-09 12:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Margaritavillian 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
halarouos!!!!
2007-08-09 12:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by LIL MISS VIXION 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats hilarious! Thanks for that. lol
2007-08-09 12:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋