I messed up, I know. The thing is that I completely fell in love with this person of my Master's Degree class. I attended it in another city and only came back home on the weekends. During the school year, the distance made me realize many things that I didn't like, about myself, my wife and our relationship. Now she's pregnant again – accident or not, who knows now – and I am in love with a person, who also wants to be desperately with me. I never felt this with my wife.
My heart in shambles. I can't imagine a common future with my wife knowing that my heart is open to someone else. Some tell me you should live for your family, some say I should follow my heart. I am in the eye of a hurricane. Is there anything like re-loving someone?
2007-08-09 05:14:15 · 27 answers · asked by jaypappo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You could stop boinking your wife and getting her pregnant, to start with.
Did you accidentally fall down on top of her and slip it in? How did she get accidentally pregnant??
2007-08-09 05:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
I hope you got some decent overview over your issue by rading all the fancy answers you got to your question. Of course, I am being sarcastic, LOL! You are probably an active runner from relationships when they become REAL and where you feel stuck. Relationships and marriages crave work and maturity and you are not ready to provide neither. You could go on with the other girl, but something tells me you would leave her too in the end for someone else. I am reading a book on this very matter and since I have not come to the part how to deal with the problem, I cannot help you. All I know is that you should be with someone you feel real love with, not lust. If you cannot be without that person, cannot imagine yourself apart, that's what counts. Can you honestly ask yourself if this new girl is someone you lust because you want out of your situation at home or is she the one?
2007-08-09 07:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by stargazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe you can "re-love" someone, but what you need to ask yourself is did you really love your wife as strongly as you are feeling for this other woman?
You have to remember:
We all want what we can't have.
And as soon as we get it, we realize it wasn't everything we thought it was going to be. So then we no longer want it any more either.
So, that being said.
Are you willing to leave your wife and end up all by yourself?
Because there is no guarantee that things will work out with this other woman.
Maybe you felt the same way about your wife, back in the beginning but have lost that feeling.
So if you would still be happier by yourself than with your wife, then that's when it's time to call it quits.
Don't go thinking you're leaving your wife to be with this other woman, because you might be throwing away what you do have, for nothing.
I know it's a really hard situation to be in.
Just don't go looking for the grass to be greener on the other side because that grass still needs mowed too.
Good luck
I wish you the best
2007-08-09 05:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are a complete a total jackass. For someone getting a master's degree, you have absolutlely NO common sense.
You aren't "in love" with this other woman, you are in LUST with her - she is the sex you don't get because you were away from your wife. You barely know her. Look at her realistically, she was oh so willing to jump into bed with a married man....yeah, right, it's really going to last with her...until she finds some other lonely sucker and dumps your butt.
It isn't your heart that was open to somone else, it was your damn pants.
You have children for cripes sake. Don't you think they deserve to be brought up by someone who doesn't have the morals of slime?
You confess to your wife and maybe, just maybe, she will forgive your sorry a**....marriage is work Jay. The excitement you feel in ANY relationship fades after a while - and becomes a solid foundation. Your wife is supporting your education, caring for your child & home while you are gone...but here you are ready to just toss her aside for some fling.
You are pathetic.
2007-08-09 05:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're a f*cking jerk. You get her pregnant and then you decide that you're in love with someone else. Well isn't that just convenient for you? If you're man enough to get her pregnant and say I do. Than you're man enough to let those feelings stay a secret and slowly go away. Because you need to take care of your family. And yes, I would say follow your heart if you didn't have children and she wasn't your wife. All you need to do is think about why you married her in the first place. And keep your dick in your pants if you don't want to take responsibility for what comes out of it! And yes there is something called "re-loving" someone. Why do you think that people who have broken up or gotten a divorce sometimes get back together? Duh, that or just tell your wife how you feel(after she has the baby, unless you want to kill it) and let her make the decision.
2007-08-09 05:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
How about you try GROWING UP?
Be a man.
You made a promise - what kind of woman would want a married man? How long until you fall "in love" with another pretty face after you ruin your wife's life and this new woman's?
You're already a daddy. What kind of father are you if you leave your pregnant wife or your young children for the next piece of tail that gets you hot and bothered?
Was your own father this much of a piece of trash as well?
2007-08-09 05:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you messed up. But you need to realize that love isn't about feelings. True love is making a conscious decision to respect and love someone. You made a very serious committment to your wife when you got married, and you need to honor that, no matter what your "heart might tell you." It drives me crazy when people say to "follow your heart." In Jeremiah 17, the Bible says "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" That may sound harsh, but whether or not you believe it, it's true. Our feelings lie sometimes, and we have to realize that the right thing to do may not be what "feels right" and choose to do the right thing anyway! God bless and I'm praying for you.
2007-08-09 05:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I know man you was in the same boat as you and stayed with his wife. He ended up having more affairs because he wasn't happy. He kept searching to make a connection and over time found other married people who were having trouble in their marriages. Eventually, this man found my wife, at a low point in our marriage. Naturally he did what was natural for him and my wife was receptive and they had an affair. This man never had the courage to leave his wife and family, and because of that caused my family a lot of pain. I'm not saying to stay wife you wife or not. Whatever you do take full responsibility and make it 100% your choice and commit to it. Anything less will cause pain for you and those around you.
2007-08-09 05:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you go any further with persuing a new relationship, why not seek marriage counseling.
No doubt, when you married you took a vow of "for better or worse". So maybe right now is a worse period that can be mended. Also, your so called love for the other person may just be lust. Staying a couple may be the way to go considering you apparently got it on with your wife on one of your weekends home.
Step up to the plate and be a man and do the right thing.
2007-08-09 05:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia S 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I want you to think about the vows you made to your wife when you got married. This other woman is just that she's another woman and you need to get rid of her. She is not the one you promised to love for the rest of your life now is she! She is in the wrong for knowing that your married and still holding on. Even if you haven't slept together you've sinned by just talking about it. You need to go to your wife and tell her the truth (you owe her that much) and then you need to see how you can take care of this issue. If you both decide it's for the best to get a divorce and this other person is really wanting to be with you then she'll wait, but don't have her sitting back, you both need to get on with your lives. if it ends then you can look her up. give your marriage a chance.
2007-08-09 05:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by missmess 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hmmm obviously you slept w/ your wife recently...and she's preggo now...if you were "really in love w/ someone else" you would not have slept w/ your wife...then again, of course you are not in love w/ your wife either, because you like this other lady...well, masters degree class? if you are so smart as to be in such a class...you would not have even crossed the line as to like another lady while married...your heart is what took you to your wife I am certain of this when you married...you need to get back what you had w/ her...and that's that! yes, you can re love your wife...and forget about this lady...good luck, and please cut off all contact w/ this lady...even if it pertains to school only...
2007-08-09 05:20:55 · answer #11 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋