My Poem....?

Question

"An Angel's Wings"

There were times I asked for help,
A guardian's magical touch.
I wanted someone to carry me
So it wouldn't hurt so much.
I asked for the strength of a Titan,
To overcome the heavy walls.
I aksed for the heart of a lion,
For teh courage to never fall.
I asked for the help of an angel,
I asked for angel wings
To carry me over the parapet
And through the burning rings.
Finally, I realized
What I held within myself.
All these traits and others -
I didn't need that help!
And though I had prayed for them
And hid behind a smile
I really DID have angel wings
And they were carrying me all the while!

P.S.
Please don't tell me how to write poetry. I know how and I prefer to express my feelings in my own words and in my own way. :)

Answer 1

this is a good start - but your perspective is wrong. you are focusing on feelings -

why not describe the angel wings - how did you get them, what do they look like - how do they appear to others, remember you are making a visual picture in the reader's mind by painting a picture with words.

Answer 2

the poem was nice. I only noticed one typo, "teh" in line 8...should be "the"...common error.

You put your poem up on YA for a reason...apparently, based on your comment to another reply, it wasn't for critique...so I won't give you one...other than the one above. If you don't want feedback, then you should probably tell us what you "are" looking for...it's easier than guessing.

keep writing

Answer 3

Kind of a self-directed footsteps in the sand sort of poem. It's nice.

Answer 4

All you need is a different title. Other than that, it is great.

Answer 5

it's beautiful so peaceful and sweet keep it up . i love to read and write poems.

Answer 6

Very sweet and uplifting!

Answer 7

♥

Answer 8

I like it good.